What's on your mind?

[MacabreEternal]

2 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

Feeling pretty fucking mournful right now, just found out that a friend from my salad days died earlier tonight. A stroke and complications from Covid. Hadn't talked in ages but I always imagined him riding his motorcycle endlessly, somewhere in the back of my mind. Hoped we'd get to hang again. Damn.

Sorry for your loss mate.

[GoatmasterGeneral]

Sorry to hear about your friend FA, sucks when the good ones are taken so young. You always think you'll have more time. 

Woke up in my chair with my headphones on Sunday morning 5:15, shifted to the bed now I can't get back to sleep from thinking and worrying about shit. The one day I could sleep in a bit and I can't sleep. Grabbed my phone to check the weather (we are supposed to work today, just not super early) cat hops up on the bed to rub her face against the edge of my phone as she likes to do, guess she can't sleep either. 5pm in Bangladesh now, wonder what they're drinking. And just what the fuck is a yard arm? Looked it up, ah ok I see. Never would have made it in the Navy or as a pirate, I don't like heights. 

[navybsn]

9 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

Feeling pretty fucking mournful right now, just found out that a friend from my salad days died earlier tonight. A stroke and complications from Covid. Hadn't talked in ages but I always imagined him riding his motorcycle endlessly, somewhere in the back of my mind. Hoped we'd get to hang again. Damn.

Condolences dude. 

[markm]

9 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

Feeling pretty fucking mournful right now, just found out that a friend from my salad days died earlier tonight. A stroke and complications from Covid. Hadn't talked in ages but I always imagined him riding his motorcycle endlessly, somewhere in the back of my mind. Hoped we'd get to hang again. Damn.

Sorry to hear that. I know it sucks. One of my best friends from HS passed last year and it was a shock. Super healthy guy. First friend I'd grown up with who died. It's hard news to hear. 

[FatherAlabaster]

Thanks, guys. It's coming as a bit of a shock to me over the past couple days. Just recently found out that he was sick at all. He was in the hospital for a few weeks, but I didn't know about any of it since I'm off social media. Very grateful to a mutual friend for thinking of me and letting me know what was going on. Sorry for your loss as well, @markm.

Just read an article on NYT about a woman named Pauline Boss and her research into what she calls "ambiguous loss" - something that's ongoing, hard to define or acknowledge, with no sense of closure. Really struck a nerve. 

[MacabreEternal]

Dad's birthday celebration today - the old man hits 70 on Tuesday and despite growing threat of Omincron we managed to do a sensible family get together at my folk's place.  They even made everyone prove a negative LTFT test before letting them in the house (me included).  Unusually for me, I drove.  Normally I get the girlfriend to do it or take a cab but I had to pick up my gran from the care home on the way and I know the area better than my gf, plus I am genuinely considering kicking booze altogether for 2022.

A recent health scare that turned out to be absolutely nothing to worry about has got me looking back to a more healthy lifestyle and me assessing what changes I can realistically make and booze seems like an easy target.  

EDIT - one area that has become a real struggle in the past six months or so has been my terrible sleep pattern of me getting less than 6 hours of sleep most nights.  Some of that has been down to the introduction of kittens into the house of late which I knew the consequences of but the majority of the past few months has just been me waking up at daft o'clock in the morning and the brain ticking on overdrive for a couple of hours.  I need to repair that too moving forwards as I have always been a solid 8 hours a night guy most of my life and man do I struggle with my mood when I am tired.  A lot more snappy than I used to be and a lot more easily stressed when tired (often over very minor things).

[AlSymerz]

We've been lucky on the birthday front during covid, small family, no desire for big parties and a very low number of cases meant we'd bend lock down rules a bit when it suited us. We didn't have parties but we did see my parents on their birthdays, and Christmas for us last year was pretty much everything open from memory. However on the flip side of that my wife hasn't seen her mum now for about 4 years because everyone was busy before covid and now Western Australia wont let anyone in. Her mum even said to her a few weeks back "by the time our dickhead (Premier of the state) let's us fly again I'll be too bloody old to get on a plane!"

I wish I could blame my grumpiness on my sleep patterns, or my age, but I've been a grumpy bastard for years. I tend to remove myself from more situations these days than I used to. I used to let things build, get angry and fire, but these days I've kind of taught myself to step away. It's such a simply idea, but not always easy to actually do. Some people bring out the worst in me, my brother for instance is a royal pain in the arse with some subjects, I spent years firing at him and sometimes even baiting him, but these days I just shut up and let him rant, or I walk away. I started doing it because I could feel my blood pressure getting too high, up until the moment I began to feel that sort of thing I never knew I had a blood pressure.

[JonoBlade]

12 hours ago, MacabreEternal said:

..... plus I am genuinely considering kicking booze altogether for 2022.

A recent health scare that turned out to be absolutely nothing to worry about has got me looking back to a more healthy lifestyle and me assessing what changes I can realistically make and booze seems like an easy target.  

EDIT - one area that has become a real struggle in the past six months or so has been my terrible sleep pattern of me getting less than 6 hours of sleep most nights.  Some of that has been down to the introduction of kittens into the house of late which I knew the consequences of but the majority of the past few months has just been me waking up at daft o'clock in the morning and the brain ticking on overdrive for a couple of hours.  I need to repair that too moving forwards as I have always been a solid 8 hours a night guy most of my life and man do I struggle with my mood when I am tired.  A lot more snappy than I used to be and a lot more easily stressed when tired (often over very minor things).

Like a lot of things, people just can't see the wood for the trees and think it is impossible to give up what they thought was important in their life (e.g. booze, meat). But when you do it, you wonder what took you so long. 

The sleep thing is critical and giving up drinking will definitely help. Less than six hours is linked to dementia and all kinds of problems. I reckon I average 7 hours but still have those brain overdrive days...especially with the shit going on at work and wanting to get out of it.

Can't complain though.

But, yes, I will because my daughter tested positive for covid yesterday on a lateral flow! Waiting for the PCR test result today.

She's fine, unless you count boredom as a symptom.

Luckily I hate Christmas so it can't be ruined.

[navybsn]

3 hours ago, JonoBlade said:

Like a lot of things, people just can't see the wood for the trees and think it is impossible to give up what they thought was important in their life (e.g. booze, meat). But when you do it, you wonder what took you so long. 

The sleep thing is critical and giving up drinking will definitely help. Less than six hours is linked to dementia and all kinds of problems. I reckon I average 7 hours but still have those brain overdrive days...especially with the shit going on at work and wanting to get out of it.

Giving up meat is surprisingly easy. The hardest thing is figuring out what to eat and how to prepare it. Takes a while to adjust. I did the vegetarian thing for a year and really didn't miss meat (except for fish). The most frustrating thing was going out to eat with the wife. So few vegetarian choices in restaurants around here. Even though I eat meat again these days, I eat much less of it than I used to. With the prices going up as they have lately, I may go to only eating it twice a week. I went to the butcher shop this weekend. Bought a small ham for Christmas, 3 pork chops, and a small brisket flat. $80 for about 4-5 pounds of meat. 

Booze is rather easy to kick as well. I drink only on occasion these days. Usually just when I get together with the guys for a show/festival trip. Saves lots of money.

Sleep is a bit harder to improve. I'm a regular 7-8 hour kind of guy, but my problem is getting to sleep. Some nights I'll lay there for an hour or more trying to shut my brain off. It's overstimulation (internet/tv/etc) and excessive caffeine. I know I spend too much time doing shit that's not worthwhile and not enough exercise or other healthy stuff. Definitely something to work on. Breaking my evening habits would do me a lot of good, so something to work on.

3 hours ago, JonoBlade said:

Luckily I hate Christmas so it can't be ruined.

Absolutely. My father ruined Christmas for me as a teenager. Walked out on us on Christmas Eve fucking asshole. Ever since (past 30 odd years), I could care less about it. Overblown, overhyped commercial exercise. I do enjoy the day off of work, so I guess it isn't all bad.

[MacabreEternal]

1 hour ago, navybsn said:

 

Sleep is a bit harder to improve. I'm a regular 7-8 hour kind of guy, but my problem is getting to sleep. Some nights I'll lay there for an hour or more trying to shut my brain off. It's overstimulation (internet/tv/etc) and excessive caffeine. I know I spend too much time doing shit that's not worthwhile and not enough exercise or other healthy stuff. Definitely something to work on. Breaking my evening habits would do me a lot of good, so something to work on.

 

For me it is fine getting off to sleep it is if I wake for whatever reason in the night then I am ruined for at least an hour before I get back off.  When we got home yesterday evening around 5pm, I had a green tea and unusually for me I was up to the bathroom in the middle of the night (I assume as part of green tea's purifying qualities) and then I was awake from 3.30am as just could not go back to sleep.  I am usually up for 5:30am most mornings anyway so I consciously get in bed for 10pm most nights to give myself the best shot.  The gf is murder for iPad, phone or TV before attempting to get off to sleep and I have cracked the habit of leaving such items in my office before I get in the bedroom.  I am at 3 cups of coffee/tea a day now but dramatically need to up my water intake (but then again - up in the night for a piss if I overdo the water).

My diet is fucking appalling and exercise virtually non-existent.

New year, new me and all that bollocks! 

EDIT - with you both on Christmas in general.  No particularly comparable experience as @navybsnbut hate the fucking commercial aspect and the way the house turns into a never-ending sea of boxes as the decorations come out and take about 3 weeks to do because my gf is so indecisive, turns decorating a tree into a cottage industry and makes my change-challenged afflictions go into overdrive.  The debate about which side of the family we should spend Xmas Day with and how her side are all cunts who just won't die / ever show humanity but mine are all old and nostalgic if not increasingly demented.

[JonoBlade]

2 hours ago, navybsn said:

I went to the butcher shop this weekend. Bought a small ham for Christmas, 3 pork chops, and a small brisket flat. $80 for about 4-5 pounds of meat. 

I guess it's good if prices are rising. The true cost should be built into every retail price (production, packaging, recycling, cost to health system). 

It'll see McDonalds go out of business overnight.

@MacabreEternal I guess it is best just not to drink anything within a few hours of bedtime. Waking up in the middle of the night is the worst. It was happening a lot to me lately but been sleeping like a baby the last week or so. I think it might be something to do with not using an alarm. 

[AlSymerz]

If I ever have to set an alarm my sleeping is worse than ever. It's like my subconscious spends the whole night sitting in the background telling me not to oversleep and keeps waking me to check the clock. That said even without the alarm I only sleep 6 hours a night and I can wake up anything from 3 to 6 times during that sleep. Sleep and I have never really been friends.

I don't have any real issue with Christmas, of course it's over commercialised but so is everything these days. Years ago Christmas used to annoy me more because of all those 'once a year' family members but these days we generally only do Christmas with immediate family and it's lunch at a restaurant so it's all easy and painless.

Christmas may be over commercialised but at least Easter isn't!! Here we sit at December 21 and it's only 7 days (10 max) until the major bakeries start putting Hot Cross Buns on the shelf due to 'customer demand'.

 

[Thatguy]

7 hours ago, navybsn said:

Giving up meat is surprisingly easy

I hardly eat meat and probably wouldn't at all except my wife likes it.

 

10 hours ago, JonoBlade said:

Luckily I hate Christmas so it can't be ruined.

Having a break from work in glorious summer weather has always been a good thing, but the whole garni de jour of the event leaves me cold. It is, of course, commercially driven. I guess there are some pious christians who care. The chance to spend time with my widely scattered family has always been good too. Luckily none of them were or are arseholes.

I hope your daughter gets through covid with no drama.

[Dead1]

13 hours ago, JonoBlade said:

Luckily I hate Christmas so it can't be ruined.

I actually really like Christmas

We never had Christmas or Easter or even birthdays (birthday was a gift (often something you needed) and maybe cake and sometimes not even that - in fact the whole family treated birthdays as a chore).  My house was basically permanent misery and bleakness with bouts of violence by my mother.  There are virtually no photos of me smiling as a kid and virtually no family photos after I turned 8!

 

I always felt like I missed out and also it made me feel even more isolated.

So when I met my wife's family and they did awesome Christmas' I was really stoked.  

I have the most epic tree now and we make sure our kid has all the magic.

 

Oh and I am atheist so Christmas to me is the colour, the vibe, a time to relax and wind down for the year - it usually signifies a holiday and a few weeks off work. Don't even care so much about presents - I find that bit to be a pain in the arse.

 

 

EDIT I still hate my birthday and generally try to avoid it...a result of my parents teaching me to hate myself more than anything else in the world.

 

[Dead1]

So hilariously they opened up our borders to boost tourism/hospitality industry.  And pretty much instantly the cafes I walked past are largely empty and hospitality providers are complaining about mass cancellations.

My mother in law works at two accommodation providers in reception and at both she's been dealing with dozens of cancellations!   A music festival has just been cancelled.

And we have to wear masks in any indoor public space other than gyms.  We're being asked to tone down Christmas celebrations.

 

So biggest time of year for tourism and the government killed it.

 

Literally on 15 December we got fucked for no reason,

[JonoBlade]

17 hours ago, Dead1 said:

I actually really like Christmas

EDIT I still hate my birthday and generally try to avoid it...a result of my parents teaching me to hate myself more than anything else in the world.

 

Not sure why I said I hate Christmas, really. Perhaps a little harsh. Like most everyone else I don't like the commercialism, but I don't engage with that so it's not really a problem.

Although I do hate obligatory gift giving outside of my immediate family (like, those I live with).

Can you please explain how you avoid a birthday? I think everyone here of advanced years would like to do that.

[FatherAlabaster]

Gotta say I've always liked Christmas. It was (still is) a secular holiday in my household - I treat it as a somewhat late solstice celebration - and we'd have a good time whether we traveled to see extended family or just stayed home. Lots of great memories around Christmastime, including going to the Christmas Revels in NY once or twice as a kid.

The music from the Revels (mostly old English and American carols) probably did more than anything else to jumpstart my love of music in general. My parents would play recordings from the Revels Chorus in lieu of the Bings and Franks of the world, and I still love those old recordings and play them every year. I also like getting gifts for my wife and son, and mailing a package to my folks when I can, usually with some local coffee and honey and stuff.

It's been a tough autumn with a lot of losses and frustrations, and I've been feeling the stress of seasonal obligations more than usual, but I'm still looking forward to it. A nice meal, some good drink and music, and a three-day weekend with my family for once.

It being the solstice today, I want to wish everyone a happy day, and also especially to thank those of you from the Metal-Fi crowd that have stuck around. You've brought a lot of life, knowledge, and good discussion here. Best wishes to all.

[navybsn]

1 hour ago, FatherAlabaster said:

It being the solstice today, I want to wish everyone a happy day, and also especially to thank those of you from the Metal-Fi crowd that have stuck around. You've brought a lot of life, knowledge, and good discussion here. Best wishes to all.

Likewise FA. I have to say that it's been quite a nice transition. The regulars have been very welcoming, and I get a lot out of the discussion and recommendations. 

Happy "whatever you choose to celebrate this time of year" to everyone.

[AlSymerz]

4 hours ago, JonoBlade said:

Although I do hate obligatory gift giving outside of my immediate family (like, those I live with).

Can you please explain how you avoid a birthday? I think everyone here of advanced years would like to do that.

I coped shit from my family about 10 years ago for trying to stop presents. We never gave anything more than token gifts like lotto tickets or some chocolates to extended family, aunties, uncles cousins etc, but immediate family was always presents. My sister in law didn't have the greatest of up bringing and her excuse was she had to spend lots to give others the Christmas she never got as a kid. We did that for about 15 years, then presents turned into gift vouchers at the local record store, or the liquor store, or even the supermarket. Then Christmas day became trade the gift card, same value, same shop, not even a Christmas card. I told the family I was stopping the gift giving and spent 4 months being told I was a Scrooge. After 10 years my wife and I still give nothing but it's a loosing battle because every year my sister in law presents us with another gift card.

 

Avoiding birthdays for me was a process. When the kids were younger birthdays were all about them, the cake the cards, singing happy birthday, it didn't matter whose birthday it was the kids controlled things (within reason). Some times we'd go out but mostly it was just at home. Once the kids grew up and stopped being so interested in cakes and singing happy birthday it was a natural progression to do nothing other than have dinner.

[MacabreEternal]

5 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

Gotta say I've always liked Christmas. It was (still is) a secular holiday in my household - I treat it as a somewhat late solstice celebration - and we'd have a good time whether we traveled to see extended family or just stayed home. Lots of great memories around Christmastime, including going to the Christmas Revels in NY once or twice as a kid.

The music from the Revels (mostly old English and American carols) probably did more than anything else to jumpstart my love of music in general. My parents would play recordings from the Revels Chorus in lieu of the Bings and Franks of the world, and I still love those old recordings and play them every year. I also like getting gifts for my wife and son, and mailing a package to my folks when I can, usually with some local coffee and honey and stuff.

It's been a tough autumn with a lot of losses and frustrations, and I've been feeling the stress of seasonal obligations more than usual, but I'm still looking forward to it. A nice meal, some good drink and music, and a three-day weekend with my family for once.

It being the solstice today, I want to wish everyone a happy day, and also especially to thank those of you from the Metal-Fi crowd that have stuck around. You've brought a lot of life, knowledge, and good discussion here. Best wishes to all.

I will second this, do whatever makes you happy at this time of year folks and thanks to all who have injected life back into MF.

[Dead1]

6 hours ago, JonoBlade said:

 

Can you please explain how you avoid a birthday? I think everyone here of advanced years would like to do that.

As in avoid celebrating it.

1 hour ago, KillaKukumba said:

I coped shit from my family about 10 years ago for trying to stop presents. 

 

I've tried doing cancelling presents for adults but have failed miserably. 

My mother in law is always horrified when we have a garage sale and we're selling all the useless shit she got us.  She has openly stated she gets us things she thinks we need.  This year she was literally going to buy me some sort of cocktail mixer pack to which point my wife had to spend a bit of time arguing with her that I don't drink cocktails or white spirits at all. 

I've told them if they want to give me a present and don't want to give me a gift card, then a six pack of Boags beer or a cheese ala camembert of brie would suffice (even supermarket brand would suffice) and crackers. 

Yet they insist on the useless stuff.  Even my wife would buy me novelty clothes I would never wear.  I had to have an argument with her that it was wasting money we don't have on crap I don't want.  

 

 

Suffice to say I always get the best presents for myself.

[AlSymerz]

My wife and I have pretty much always bought our own presents, sometimes we'll tell each other what to buy but generally we just buy it ourselves and be done with it. Most years the presents are bought and used before Christmas day anyway so we just resort to something small, silly, impractical, or just downright pointless for the fun of it, like the year she bought me a Gene Simmons mask, but it's never wasted and it's always fun.

[Dead1]

55 minutes ago, KillaKukumba said:

My wife and I have pretty much always bought our own presents, sometimes we'll tell each other what to buy but generally we just buy it ourselves and be done with it. Most years the presents are bought and used before Christmas day anyway so we just resort to something small, silly, impractical, or just downright pointless for the fun of it, like the year she bought me a Gene Simmons mask, but it's never wasted and it's always fun.

 

A Gene Simmons mask is pretty cool.  But getting a man who doesn't wear colourful clothing a pink flamingo t-shirt or garish Hawaiian shirts is wasteful. 

 

To be honest now that I think about it it's also kind of insulting - "we couldn't be bothered getting you a proper present so we got you this as a joke because we know you wouldn't like it."

[Thatguy]

4 hours ago, Dead1 said:

To be honest now that I think about it it's also kind of insulting - "we couldn't be bothered getting you a proper present so we got you this as a joke because we know you wouldn't like it."

But that can work too. My daughter got my son a corduroy Vegemite logo cap. No one in their right mind would like this -  and I fail to understand why it even exists - but it can be worn ironically if you are big enough and bold enough, and my son is both.

[Dead1]

1 hour ago, Thatguy said:

But that can work too. My daughter got my son a corduroy Vegemite logo cap. No one in their right mind would like this -  and I fail to understand why it even exists - but it can be worn ironically if you are big enough and bold enough, and my son is both.

Good on him!

 

I wear a suit every day at work so I'd rather not have to wear clothes I don't like.

 

The flamingo shirt was relegated to gardening/housework.  The Hawaiian shirt is a Christmas day only thing.

 

The flamingo shirt (no that's not me):

 

http://www.aizennasa.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/t-shirts-mens-kenji-funky-flamingo-short-sleeve-tee-white.jpg