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Apoc

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No Mindy I said he has not been physically abusive towards me. I went on to imply I am, to this point, the only one in this house who can say this. Anyway can we move on please dwelling on the matter just makes me feel bad. Given that I'm fairly upbeat at present that isn't something I need.

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Ok, I got really drunk on Thursday as in only today (3 days on) have i been able to actually eat and function as a human being and my stomach still hurts a bit today.  Stupid, stupid, stupid, fucking stupid me trying to drink with 20 year olds even though I am nearly 40.  Couldn't drink at all at the gf's family do (which was a blessing) but really haven't done my innards any good with the general lack of food over the past 3 days.

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1 hour ago, MacabreEternal said:

Ok, I got really drunk on Thursday as in only today (3 days on) have i been able to actually eat and function as a human being and my stomach still hurts a bit today.  Stupid, stupid, stupid, fucking stupid me trying to drink with 20 year olds even though I am nearly 40.  Couldn't drink at all at the gf's family do (which was a blessing) but really haven't done my innards any good with the general lack of food over the past 3 days.

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The last few times I've had any beer, it's really messed up my digestion. I'm kind of bummed about it. Hopefully that doesn't continue, I love beer but it's not worth that. 

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Also I noticed the massive downer it put me on mentally.  Had hangovers before but this time felt mentally "weighted" - kind of hard to explain how different it was to the norm hangover feel but yesterday I had the urge to run, just to get in the car and go (made a couple of excuses and did so twice) very odd.  That some shit I don't need.

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50 minutes ago, MacabreEternal said:

Too much time on my own in hotels methinks.  Have felt it a lot (when sober) of late.  Some quality time at home required - time with the missus,  just being me for a bit.

That must take a toll. I love having some space and time to myself, but I start missing my wife and kid pretty quickly. And I'd suppose the time you get while traveling for work isn't really quality. 

Plus having to constantly improvise locations to hide the remains, and buying new gloves in every town, and dealing with those folding shovels all the time... :D

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I'm not to the point of not being able to keep up with the younger generation yet, but I don't drink anywhere near as often after having kidney stones.

As far as the other point, I've always loved alone time, it gives me a stress relief that many other things can't. I miss my wife and daughter when they're not here, but it's never so overwhelming that I can't enjoy what I'm doing on my own.

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

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I have always been a loner but I do relate with people well (until I inevitably abduct and kill them at least), but I have learned there is such a thing as too much "me" time. The balance at present has shifted  towards spending too much time with myself, in the new year I may need to be a little more creative with my client site activity than I have been this last 3 months.

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I've always liked the time with my family around Christmas. We always kept it more in the spirit of a winter gathering. My parents took me to the Christmas Revels performances in Brooklyn a couple of times when I was little, and the audio tapes of those were probably the first music I fell in love with on my own. That's where I got my taste for medieval music, old English folk tunes, etc.

I used to care about giving and getting gifts, but now I just look forward to eating, drinking, and spending time with everyone. I'm excited to be going to see my parents again later this week, haven't seen them in over a year and haven't had a Christmas with them in ages. I'm looking less forward to my wife's side of the family, but I suppose that's normal. My grandma is 94 and just got out of the hospital, so it'll be good to catch up with her while I still can, as well.

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My Christmas time generally consists of the kid brother complaining that he broke one of the new thigns he got, spending the day with my dad's side of the family pretending I'm not on the verge of puking my guts out from the overpowering smell of cigarette smoke, coming home and cleaning. This year that's my Boxing Day instead but I'll be hitting the trainer for nearly 2 hours instead.

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I like to think of myself as being a reasonable person. So that being said I don't feel it is an unreasonable expectation for friends to have at least some contact with each other from time to time. Even more so close friends who often communicate at least once a week. I also don't think it is unreasonable to call out someone who calls you a close friend when they have, and continue to, pretty much ignored you for an extended period of time with absolutely no reason given. I'm also a forgiving person so I'm willing to give this individual one chance, and one chance only, to start actually acting like a friend.

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My mood swings this week are still terrible.  Spent most of the morning really down then had a complete mania phase when I got home again earlier.  

On a more positive note, I am off to see my Uncle later who is now in a care home and although not cured is not drinking alcohol anymore.  Really should be visiting more often than we do though.  Also going to take the mountain of gifts, freebies and bribes from companies me and the gf receive in our respective jobs and donate them to the home he is in for all the residents.

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Sent my last two pigs off to the pros and they came back looking great, all cleaned up and split down the middle. I've got enough pork fat to last a decade at the rate it is getting used. The last chicken we had went off to join a friends flock yesterday. I was concerned that she would have a hard time fitting in the order over there, but she pretty much kicked the asses of several of the higher ups, so she is well on her way to being one of the bosses lieutenants, I'm so proud. So that is it for live stock, and later today we will be heading off to my in-laws in North Carolina leaving no barn yard chores behind.

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