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Apoc

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Parker, I'll second what Gorbo said. Like Relentless, I've thought about suicide many times. I used to think about it daily. Part of what got me through those episodes was talking to friends and telling them how I felt, which was horrible but somehow relieving at the same time. It wasn't a need for sympathy; I didn't want sympathy. I don't know you, but I'm betting you don't, either. Feel free to talk more, here, if that would help you. You'll be heard, maybe even understood. I agree with Gorbo that the decision to die should be ours, but none of us live in a vacuum. I can guarantee you that your suicide would have a lasting negative effect, on more people than you might think, unless you took the time to help your friends and loved ones also come to terms with your decision. As far as coming and going here, my absence was related to a number of things, some good, some not so good. I'm happy to share the good stuff with you all, though being so busy keeps me from being very active. The bad stuff, let's just say it was an unavoidable spell of depression that I didn't and don't feel like dragging anyone down with. Not suicidal ideation, but it comes and goes similarly. Regarding BFM666, I haven't had contact with him but I've seen him around online recently. I don't know how he's doing but I'm pretty sure he's still among the living, and I certainly hope so. He's a good dude. What do we mean to each other? We're friends, mostly. My online persona is friends with a lot of your online personas; another type or layer of friendship, of which there are many online and in real life. It's ideal in some ways for me, because I like to gather my thoughts and make sure they're actually the thoughts I'm thinking. I'm not a fan of McLuhan, but his distinction between hot and cold media was a step in the right direction. This is a cold medium, and the advantage is that we can all take our time in choosing how we want to relate to one another. Cheers to all of you.

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Similarly I view most of you guys as friends. My online persona isn't much different to how I am in real life (I really am this nuts guys). I don't tend to make friends easily so the anonymity of a forum certainly helped me at first. Is that what you mean by cold medium FA?
Not really due to anonymity so much as being text-based and asynchronous. But that's another part of it, I suppose. McLuhan was talking about art media.
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Dudes I am sad when I hear some of you are having troubles and are not feeling well, I hope this forum shows all of you that there are still decent people in this world and that if you can't find them among you, at least you can find them online. I hope talking to this wonderful community will make you feel a bit better because you know there is a place you can come and share every thought you have, without someone judging or pressuring you. Please people do not hurt yourself, it's not the answer, everything can be fixed, reversed, changed, but death can't. I know this friendship is not the same as the face-to-face ones but it's still friendship, and even thought I haven't been around that long I care about you, you are good people, and I hope you have all the happiness in life. Just stay strong and keep typing...

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Thanks for all the kind words guys, I'm feeling much better today. The GF sent me a dozen chocolate covered strawberries for Valentines day, which was really nice of her. I can't wait to see her today and give her the roses, heart shaped box of chocolates, and big teddybear I bought for her. :-D
Very glad to hear it Parker. Happy valentines day to you and to all for that matter. I'm trying to learn a little Japanese in advance of the trip I'm taking to Kyoto next month. How come there are not metal heads form Kyoto on this forum? That is very disappointing. If there is one, please reveal your self, thank you.
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Very glad to hear it Parker. Happy valentines day to you and to all for that matter. I'm trying to learn a little Japanese in advance of the trip I'm taking to Kyoto next month. How come there are not metal heads form Kyoto on this forum? That is very disappointing. If there is one, please reveal your self, thank you.
Japan has plenty of metal bands and fans, but most of them are into power/progressive type stuff. It also seems that most of them don't speak English, which could have something to do with it. If you haven't yet, check out Church of Misery, my favorite Japanese doom metal band.
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Very glad to hear it Parker. Happy valentines day to you and to all for that matter. I'm trying to learn a little Japanese in advance of the trip I'm taking to Kyoto next month. How come there are not metal heads form Kyoto on this forum? That is very disappointing. If there is one, please reveal your self, thank you.
Dammit you are LUCKY ggrrrrrrrrrrr
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Dammit you are LUCKY ggrrrrrrrrrrr
I'm going with the whole work crew minus one. My boss has rented a house for eight of us. The best thing about it is that my eldest daughter is going on this trip with us. She hasn't been out of the country since our honeymoon trip to Quebec City when she was an infant. (That's correct, my eldest was born out of wedlock). Anyway her going on this trip is kind of the point of the whole trip in my view.
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Valentine's day didn't exactly go as planned. I guess that's to be expected in this household. Still got to spend some time with the gf and my mango sorbet was pretty rocking so there's that. We're also seriously contemplating moving into our own place which is exciting. Also a unique opportunity has come up in the tandem bike hunt. The bloke I've got in touch with happens to be the chief mechanic for the Australian paralympic cycling team. He may be able to source me the bike which won gold in London (worth $15,000 at least) for around the $5000 mark. Wasn't considering buying a second hand bike but that's a deal too good to pass up.

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Valentine's day didn't exactly go as planned. I guess that's to be expected in this household. Still got to spend some time with the gf and my mango sorbet was pretty rocking so there's that. We're also seriously contemplating moving into our own place which is exciting. Also a unique opportunity has come up in the tandem bike hunt. The bloke I've got in touch with happens to be the chief mechanic for the Australian paralympic cycling team. He may be able to source me the bike which won gold in London (worth $15,000 at least) for around the $5000 mark. Wasn't considering buying a second hand bike but that's a deal too good to pass up.
Yikes, a used bike for five grand? Well, good luck with it. And with getting your own place. I can't remember, but I think you said your girlfriend is vision-impaired as well?
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I had a great time with the GF yesterday, the first time in my life that I got to spend Valentine's Day with someone I love. She got me chocolate covered strawberries and I got her a big teddybear, a fuzzy covered heart shaped box of chocolates, and a dozen red roses. Seems I'm snowed in at her place now, and couldn't be happier. Hope things went well for all of you.

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New intake manifold arrived for my car, hopefully it will help me break the 650 horsepower barrier. Had a great day yesterday. Spent most of it curled up on the sofa watching films with the lass. Got my girl one of these, as you can tell, we very rarely take things seriously. [ATTACH=CONFIG]1789[/ATTACH]

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Yesterday's eye test resulted in glasses for the first time in my life - although I genuinely suit them and am fortunate to not have to need them for everyday walking about purposes just the time spent in front of a computer (yeah roughly 85% of my day in this job).
I need to get my eyes checked too. For the longest time I put off getting reading glasses then one day I said to myself that I need to stop being so stubborn and just try em. Seriously, why am I choosing to struggle to read when I don't have to. Finally bought a couple nice pairs and I've also had fewer headaches :D
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So fucking angry tonight. Was supposed to be the niece's 2nd birthday today and watching that piss poor excuse of a father of hers torment and goad her was actually sickening, he threw a big beanie toy at her head and actually laughed when she fell over as a result. The girlfriend was so annoyed she nearly cried - and she is not an angry person by nature! Appalling behaviour and the really bad part is that is just a snippet of what he is like all the time.

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So fucking angry tonight. Was supposed to be the niece's 2nd birthday today and watching that piss poor excuse of a father of hers torment and goad her was actually sickening' date=' he threw a big beanie toy at her head and actually laughed when she fell over as a result. The girlfriend was so annoyed she nearly cried - and she is not an angry person by nature! Appalling behaviour and the really bad part is that is just a snippet of what he is like all the time.[/quote'] What?!? That's terrible. People that mistreat their kids don't deserve them. Apparently my grandfather was kind of like that when my mom was growing up, makes me so angry. None of my business, maybe, but things like that can scar children for life. Fucking awful. I'm sorry to hear it.
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