What's on your mind?

[markm]

5 hours ago, Nasty_Cabbage said:

Could be facing some slightly drastic lifestyle changes coming up here. Short story even shorter my remaining grandparent is hitting the age where his health and overall well being is experiencing problems. My brother is in the early stages of raising his family and my sister just took up a new career and needs to be able to continue her education where she's at. My parents are enjoying their early retirement years and, even though they'd be there if anything were to happen, they've taken to their more or less nomadic lifestyle of seeing the whole country via their RV-ing. My job is fine right now, but nothing I couldn't walk out on so that makes me the likely candidate to take full time care of my grandfather on a live-in care status. First off, I'm actually more proud than anything that they would ask me to do that if future Dr. appointments show further decline. I am more than willing to do the dirty work when it comes to full time care. A elderly home is not an option. Grandpa did a fantastic job with his children and by extension his grandchildren so we owe him peace and unconditional love in his waning, and if he were to move in with me taking care of him he'd be closer to his children and be able to see them much more often.

When I was talked to about this I didn't detect any malice or lack of faith in my ability to care for him, but it was made clear that it would effectively be my full time job, and everything else that comes with that responsibility including putting my own personal plans on hold for possibly years. I have no problems with this. Afterall, like I said, he's earned his peaceful twilight years and built a strong growing family. This is at the absolute minimum what we owe him, and what they mean when people talk about being an adult and what you owe the humans in your life that made you. We'll know in a week or so what the general health prognosis is, and whether this will be a necessary step. Whatever the old boxing adage is that says everybody has a plan until they get hit holds true, but honestly, more than anything else I feel a lot of self pride in being asked and entrusted to do this that I'm going to have to watch internally.

You've got a selfless attitude and appreciation for the elders in your family. That's a hard situation, but you obviously feel up to it and proud to be asked but it is a really big commitment. A lot can change in your life quickly. Thanks for sharing. 

[Dr-Phibes]

On 8/28/2023 at 4:41 PM, MacabreEternal said:

In England we have CV's because we can't let fucking go of Latin even in 2023.  Mine is years out of date, largely due to the amount of headhunting that goes on for me on LinkedIn with recruiters offering me jobs with impossible salaries expecting to me to fall into the trap of finding out the hard way why the salary is so high because a) the company is awful to work for b) is getting wiped out by its competitors c) has gotten greedy and now all its customers have realised there are cheaper alternatives etc.

Actually at a point as I approach fifty where I am considering if I have one more move in me.  Done years of operational and management stuff so could it be time to make that strategic view on things and try and get into some director position?  Who knows.  A lot of plates spinning at any one time for me but the big advantage is working autonomously and (providing shit gets done) getting paid a decent wedge plus commission without responsibility for other people - who let's face it are usually dicks anyway - or having to provide much in the way of strategic guidance or direction.

Should still update the CV anyways as coming up for ten years at my current place and survived three different takeovers (most billed as mergers - but all takeovers) so my luck can't last forever.

In England cvs are nothing more than creative writing exercises...or is that just me

[FatherAlabaster]

Finally saw a metal show again, first time since we moved last summer. Local show in a really tiny venue an hour and a half away in Burlington. None of it is stuff I would listen to at home, but it was super fun to just be in a room with loud music and people jumping around.

 

[MacabreEternal]

Took a day off work today after spending some of the weekend keeping vigil at my 97 year old grandmother's (eventual) death bed side.  Cold but sunny day here so perfect day for a long walk.  I don't want to live to be 97, surely such a big number deserves some option to go out on your own terms, not get eaten away by cancer and die high on morphine whilst soiling yourself.

 

[navybsn]

6 hours ago, MacabreEternal said:

I don't want to live to be 97, surely such a big number deserves some option to go out on your own terms, not get eaten away by cancer and die high on morphine whilst soiling yourself.

For sure. We don't get to choose of course, but no one would opt for that. I've had several family members make it into their 90's. All relatively independent and fully functioning until the last few months. As soon as I have to rely on others to complete the activities of daily living (ADLs), I'm ready to go. As someone who's almost died twice, you're never really ready. Always want a little more time. Best strategy is just to live every day like it's your last.

Rather than advanced condolences, congrats to the old girl on a life well lived.

[Nasty_Cabbage]

2 hours ago, navybsn said:

For sure. We don't get to choose of course, but no one would opt for that. I've had several family members make it into their 90's. All relatively independent and fully functioning until the last few months. As soon as I have to rely on others to complete the activities of daily living (ADLs), I'm ready to go. As someone who's almost died twice, you're never really ready. Always want a little more time. Best strategy is just to live every day like it's your last.

Rather than advanced condolences, congrats to the old girl on a life well lived.

Seconded. As far as manner of death goes, I'd refer you to my prior post regarding the Rhino at the zoo. In all honesty though one thing you learn with funeral arrangements is that it's the domain of the living. I've been to so many open casket funerals where I knew the deceased had wanted (and in a few cases gotten in writing) a closed casket. People need to be given a chance to say goodbye even if it's only to the shell of a former animal turned current object. If a display like that seems an indignity prior to death, just understand that we are undignified creatures, and bear that indignity (for yourself or some one you knew and loved) with the same humility that earned yourself or them the love of others in the first place. 

[GoatmasterGeneral]

5 hours ago, Nasty_Cabbage said:

Seconded. As far as manner of death goes, I'd refer you to my prior post regarding the Rhino at the zoo. In all honesty though one thing you learn with funeral arrangements is that it's the domain of the living. I've been to so many open casket funerals where I knew the deceased had wanted (and in a few cases gotten in writing) a closed casket. People need to be given a chance to say goodbye even if it's only to the shell of a former animal turned current object. If a display like that seems an indignity prior to death, just understand that we are undignified creatures, and bear that indignity (for yourself or some one you knew and loved) with the same humility that earned yourself or them the love of others in the first place. 

As usual I'm the odd man out. I've never been able to understand any of this stuff. "Services" for people who have died, or the idea of friends and family needing a chance to say goodbye. I don't do funerals if I can possibly help it, I don't need to say goodbye. I went to my wife's service simply because I had flown all the way to NZ with the toddler in tow wanting to say our goodbyes while she was still alive in hospice, but we missed her demise by 25 hours. She had actually expired while I was packing our suitcase getting ready to leave for the airport, but nobody told me. We were stuck down there staying with her family members 9,000 miles from home and there didn't seem to be any tactful way to opt out so I went along with it. Fortunately my wife and her family and of course I are all staunch atheists so there was no clergy and they didn't play up the whole nonsensical god and heaven thing. They kept her pine box with the floral print closed and several people just got up and spoke some remembrances of happier times when she'd been alive. But still I don't see the point, I prefer to remember the dead on my own in private without the gathering. It's not even a dignity thing, I guess it's really the social gatherings I avoid at all costs, especially when they involve some kind of traditional ceremonies. Didn't go to my mom's service and I won't go to weddings or birthday parties or anything like that either, just don't care about traditions or birthdays or holidays. I attended my own weddings obviously, and my daughter's because she asked me to give her away, but that's about it. My people know not to invite me to stuff. I've told everyone in my inner circle when I die just chuck my body in the dumpster as you would with last night's table scraps and that old pair of shoes whose soles are coming apart. Because I'll be dead and I won't know or care. I don't mind if other people feel these kinds of ceremonies and things are necessary, that's fine for them to each their own, just leave me out of it. But you have my sincere condolences Cabbie, sorry for the rant, no disrespect intended.

[Nasty_Cabbage]

4 hours ago, GoatmasterGeneral said:

As usual I'm the odd man out. I've never been able to understand any of this stuff. "Services" for people who have died, or the idea of friends and family needing a chance to say goodbye. I don't do funerals if I can possibly help it, I don't need to say goodbye. I went to my wife's service simply because I had flown all the way to NZ with the toddler in tow wanting to say our goodbyes while she was still alive in hospice, but we missed her demise by 25 hours. She had actually expired while I was packing our suitcase getting ready to leave for the airport, but nobody told me. We were stuck down there staying with her family members 9,000 miles from home and there didn't seem to be any tactful way to opt out so I went along with it. Fortunately my wife and her family and of course I are all staunch atheists so there was no clergy and they didn't play up the whole nonsensical god and heaven thing. They kept her pine box with the floral print closed and several people just got up and spoke some remembrances of happier times when she'd been alive. But still I don't see the point, I prefer to remember the dead on my own in private without the gathering. It's not even a dignity thing, I guess it's really the social gatherings I avoid at all costs, especially when they involve some kind of traditional ceremonies. Didn't go to my mom's service and I won't go to weddings or birthday parties or anything like that either, just don't care about traditions or birthdays or holidays. I attended my own weddings obviously, and my daughter's because she asked me to give her away, but that's about it. My people know not to invite me to stuff. I've told everyone in my inner circle when I die just chuck my body in the dumpster as you would with last night's table scraps and that old pair of shoes whose soles are coming apart. Because I'll be dead and I won't know or care. I don't mind if other people feel these kinds of ceremonies and things are necessary, that's fine for them to each their own, just leave me out of it. But you have my sincere condolences Cabbie, sorry for the rant, no disrespect intended.

None taken. For the record, it was MacabreEternal who had lost some one or seemed about to. I was just piggybacking of Navy's comments about 'getting to choose' not to endure the pangs of the later years. I personally am not one to stand on ceremony either, but these things come with their own load of complications from a lot of different sources, and for a lot of people sort of build funeral preparations into their grieving process. The absolute worst I think is when you have family members who don't like each other and may choose to bring their personal feelings for one another into the funeral arrangements. It becomes an absolute nightmare very quickly. I've seen enough of it to know. My dad for some reason seems petrified that my siblings and I will fight over some foolish thing he wants to leave us, and I have to reassure him from time to time that a.) after all these years we're just not the type of people to do that, and b.) Even though I value what my parents intend to leave me, I would sooner see it all go elsewhere than destroy my relationship with my siblings. I am simply not wired to behave in any other manner.

But I absolutely understand not wanting to attend or become heavily involved in the ritual side of things, and, like you, my grief process is private and conducted in solitude. I do get a little frustrated on occasion when I might tell this to somebody and I see the alarm bells going off in their head. If I say I'm fine or I will be fine it would be really nice if people took that as my word. I just have to keep in mind that the intention is correct, even if the result can be bothersome.

[FatherAlabaster]

When I was really young the ritual of funerals didn't connect. How could it, really, they were for people I had barely met and the religious part of the ceremony had absolutely no resonance for me. When I was a teenager and I started losing friends, funerals mattered more and the public aspect of grieving at them became a source of internal conflict. But showing up is important to me. I missed my maternal grandfather's service and I'll always regret it. When my grandmother finally passed at the age of 100 a few years, it was definitely her time to go, but we still all felt a lot of grief and got to express it during the service and our family remembrance. That was a really valuable experience to have with my family and I felt somewhat healed afterwards. The service itself was utterly meaningless Catholic crap, but the family togetherness was something I'll always treasure. 

 

 

I'm having a tough time the past few days. The town sewer backed up into our basement last week and flooded my studio space. Most of my instruments and amps and gear are ok, but a bunch of important smaller stuff and furnishings got ruined. Also lost a bunch of art from college, books, papers, keepsakes, etc. I don't know how long it'll take for me to even replace the absolute essentials, so most of my creative projects are shut down for... well, who knows. Big bummer.

[markm]

41 minutes ago, FatherAlabaster said:

When I was really young the ritual of funerals didn't connect. How could it, really, they were for people I had barely met and the religious part of the ceremony had absolutely no resonance for me. When I was a teenager and I started losing friends, funerals mattered more and the public aspect of grieving at them became a source of internal conflict. But showing up is important to me. I missed my maternal grandfather's service and I'll always regret it. When my grandmother finally passed at the age of 100 a few years, it was definitely her time to go, but we still all felt a lot of grief and got to express it during the service and our family remembrance. That was a really valuable experience to have with my family and I felt somewhat healed afterwards. The service itself was utterly meaningless Catholic crap, but the family togetherness was something I'll always treasure. 

 

 

I'm having a tough time the past few days. The town sewer backed up into our basement last week and flooded my studio space. Most of my instruments and amps and gear are ok, but a bunch of important smaller stuff and furnishings got ruined. Also lost a bunch of art from college, books, papers, keepsakes, etc. I don't know how long it'll take for me to even replace the absolute essentials, so most of my creative projects are shut down for... well, who knows. Big bummer.

Crap, F.A., I'm sorry to hear that. That sucks.  We had a big issue when hurricane Sandy came through.  In a way we got lucky, especially since in our area in MD we didn't have flood insurance but the sump pump failed when we lost electricity and we didn't have a generator at the time and home owners kicked in luckily. But it was a fight with the appraiser. She nicked and dimed us for everything. I know those kinds of events can completely turn your life upside down. Fuuuck!

[Arioch]

6 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

I'm having a tough time the past few days. The town sewer backed up into our basement last week and flooded my studio space. Most of my instruments and amps and gear are ok, but a bunch of important smaller stuff and furnishings got ruined. Also lost a bunch of art from college, books, papers, keepsakes, etc. I don't know how long it'll take for me to even replace the absolute essentials, so most of my creative projects are shut down for... well, who knows. Big bummer.

Not cool, I'm sorry for you.

Here in France, for the past 4 months, we've been experiencing waves of flooding. It's raining a lot, in shorter and shorter spells. In the north of the country, they're on their 4th flood in a very short space of time. Insalubrious houses, water invading the towns and taking a very long time to recede.

There's a port behind my house. Each time, the water ends up overflowing onto the surrounding roads, and the manholes turn into geysers.

It's getting worrying.

[navybsn]

I'm unfortunately too familiar with natural disasters of this sort living all my life in Hurricane country. We've managed to dodge most bullets but we still pay dearly for the appropriate homeowners insurance. 5-6K per year (and climbing) for the privilege of fighting with the insurance company and/or pay huge deductibles to get things fixed post storm. The insurance industry as a whole (home, car, health, life etc) is a complete fucking scam. Good thing our complete joke of a governor (Mr. Pudding fingers/White boots himself) has decided to do something about it..../s.

[GoatmasterGeneral]

2 hours ago, navybsn said:

I'm unfortunately too familiar with natural disasters of this sort living all my life in Hurricane country. We've managed to dodge most bullets but we still pay dearly for the appropriate homeowners insurance. 5-6K per year (and climbing) for the privilege of fighting with the insurance company and/or pay huge deductibles to get things fixed post storm. The insurance industry as a whole (home, car, health, life etc) is a complete fucking scam. Good thing our complete joke of a governor (Mr. Pudding fingers/White boots himself) has decided to do something about it..../s.

Gotta love them white boots though!

 

FA if the sewer has backed up causing damage and loss have you looked into suing whichever agency or department is responsible for that?

[FatherAlabaster]

28 minutes ago, GoatmasterGeneral said:

FA if the sewer has backed up causing damage and loss have you looked into suing whichever agency or department is responsible for that?

Nope. That's totally foreign to me and I hope I don't have to become involved in it. I want my studio back up and running, the sooner the better. I've already lost enough time and momentum. I would only consider that if it made the difference between me being able to work or not.

 

Those boots really suit him.

[markm]

Yeah, the city should definitely be liable at some level!

[FatherAlabaster]

11 minutes ago, markm said:

Yeah, the city should definitely be liable at some level!

The blockage happened in the town line, but it seems like they're trying to pass the buck to the contracting company who installed the sewer last year. At some point, somebody's insurance should cover something. 

[navybsn]

5 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

Those boots really suit him

They're just as douchey as the man wearing them 

[FatherAlabaster]

1 hour ago, navybsn said:

They're just as douchey as the man wearing them 

Gotta say man, as right as you are, he's douchier than those boots by a plane flight to Martha's Vineyard at the least.

[AlSymerz]

Yet another example of utter bullshit from one of the highest trafficked sites on the web.

YouTube have taken down the New Wave Of Old School Thrash Metal channel due to some unknown shithead claiming copyright on albums and videos that they had no right to claim.

It's one thing if the bands, or labels, claim copyright on this stuff, but when a single person does it and can get channels shut down based on a claiming copyrights they don't own there is a problem. YouTube obviously don't give a shit because this has been happening for several years now. Some might even say it's fair game given that these channels don't own the copyright but this has also been happening to smaller bands who do own their own copyrights.

Whether or not NWOOSTM gets their case heard and the outcome changed I don't know, at this stage it appears YouTube have told them they lost the case. But this shit does seem to be happening more and more now.

[GoatmasterGeneral]

21 minutes ago, AlSymerz said:

Yet another example of utter bullshit from one of the highest trafficked sites on the web.

YouTube have taken down the New Wave Of Old School Thrash Metal channel due to some unknown shithead claiming copyright on albums and videos that they had no right to claim.

It's one thing if the bands, or labels, claim copyright on this stuff, but when a single person does it and can get channels shut down based on a claiming copyrights they don't own there is a problem. YouTube obviously don't give a shit because this has been happening for several years now. Some might even say it's fair game given that these channels don't own the copyright but this has also been happening to smaller bands who do own their own copyrights.

Whether or not NWOOSTM gets their case heard and the outcome changed I don't know, at this stage it appears YouTube have told them they lost the case. But this shit does seem to be happening more and more now.

Youtube's only consideration is protecting themselves from potentially costly litigation. So they don't give a flying fuck what channel it is they're shutting down or how many subscribers or followers they have or who's gonna be upset about it. When a channel gets multiple copyright complaints that's concerning to them so they just shut it down to be on the safe side. There's tens if not hundreds of thousands of channels at this point, it's just a business to them, they can't take a personal interest in the content. Shame though because even I found myself clicking on that channel's vids not daily or weekly, but somewhat regularly.

I agree though it's total bullshit because how many times on these more unknown/underground band's videos do you see someone from the band post "thanks for the upload" meaning obviously they're cool with it. It's free advertising for these upstart bands to metalheads who have traditionally been a group of people that actually still like to buy the albums they like the most either physically or digitally.

[AlSymerz]

But is it really protecting themselves? I understand if a record company etc came to them and claimed copyright that they'd be silly to ignore it. But when Joe Nobody does it and it's easy to prove that person has no claim on the copyright sure it's less about protection and more about laziness.

From what I read it one person claimed they owned the copyright to a heap of videos and albums on the channel. Youtube would probably argue they don't have time to check copyrights on so many claims, but even searching on an small selection should have revealed the guy claiming copyright was not the legal owner, therefore probably wasn't the owner of the rest he was claiming for.

In the case of the Aussie band that got their shit taken down the band was able to prove entire copyright, trademarks and  that the songs/videos were originally released before the claimant was even born, yet Youtube still found in favour of the claimant.

Just seems to me that Youtube don't give a fuck because they make enough money by doing very little and that actually being called upon to do something is too much effort for them.

[FatherAlabaster]

About to watch Dune 2. First time in the local theater and damn it's tiny. On the upside it seems like everyone clogging the entryway is here for Kung Fu Panda.

[FatherAlabaster]

Weird. Almost three hours and I felt like it was too short and lacking in character development. I think I get why they took the angle they did, but I feel like a couple of major characters got short shrift, and somehow that bugged me more than the significant liberties taken with the storyline. Not really sure how I feel about it.

[Thatguy]

I think it warrants a second view and I want to do it as a double bill. I bet if you do that you won't think it is too short! They couldn't continue with all the characters - too confusing. My wife - who has not read the book and has no interest in science fiction - had no real idea who anyone was and her overall take was it looked good but too much fighting. 

The daughter who hasn't read the book either but who likes fantasy and science fiction enjoyed it and understood it well enough. The son and his wife thought it was a 5 out of 5.

I first read the book when I was 14 and it blew my little mind. I haven't re-read it for many years. I don't think the storyline was significantly altered - true, the timespan was compressed and I would have like to have seen Alia as a creepy grandfather killing toddler (but 2024 is probably not up for that). There was not enough weird mysticism and I think Paul's visions of the future and how he was forced to mould his fate could have been explored more deeply and clearly. And riding sandworms is intrinsically weird and a bit silly but was done as well as could be. Still looks silly though.

[GoatmasterGeneral]

On 3/7/2024 at 4:18 PM, AlSymerz said:

But is it really protecting themselves? I understand if a record company etc came to them and claimed copyright that they'd be silly to ignore it. But when Joe Nobody does it and it's easy to prove that person has no claim on the copyright sure it's less about protection and more about laziness.

From what I read it one person claimed they owned the copyright to a heap of videos and albums on the channel. Youtube would probably argue they don't have time to check copyrights on so many claims, but even searching on an small selection should have revealed the guy claiming copyright was not the legal owner, therefore probably wasn't the owner of the rest he was claiming for.

In the case of the Aussie band that got their shit taken down the band was able to prove entire copyright, trademarks and  that the songs/videos were originally released before the claimant was even born, yet Youtube still found in favor of the claimant.

Just seems to me that Youtube don't give a fuck because they make enough money by doing very little and that actually being called upon to do something is too much effort for them.

Their motivation is certainly to protect themselves. But I can absolutely empathize with your frustration over the injustice. I don't know how big their staff is that handles the copyright claims but it's probably a few people or half a dozen maybe, and they must get hundreds if not thousands of claims per week. Investigating them all thoroughly would definitely be too much effort (because everyone's lazy) and since they see every claim as a potential lawsuit they err on the side of shutting shit down. I'm surprised more shit doesn't get taken down.

10 hours ago, Thatguy said:

I think it warrants a second view and I want to do it as a double bill. I bet if you do that you won't think it is too short! They couldn't continue with all the characters - too confusing. My wife - who has not read the book and has no interest in science fiction - had no real idea who anyone was and her overall take was it looked good but too much fighting. 

The daughter who hasn't read the book either but who likes fantasy and science fiction enjoyed it and understood it well enough. The son and his wife thought it was a 5 out of 5.

I first read the book when I was 14 and it blew my little mind. I haven't re-read it for many years. I don't think the storyline was significantly altered - true, the timespan was compressed and I would have like to have seen Alia as a creepy grandfather killing toddler (but 2024 is probably not up for that). There was not enough weird mysticism and I think Paul's visions of the future and how he was forced to mould his fate could have been explored more deeply and clearly. And riding sandworms is intrinsically weird and a bit silly but was done as well as could be. Still looks silly though.

The whole giant sandworm angle has been what's always kept me away from the Dune universe. Haven't ever read or seen anything Dune related. I like my sci-fi to be reality based.

16 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

About to watch Dune 2. First time in the local theater and damn it's tiny. On the upside it seems like everyone clogging the entryway is here for Kung Fu Panda.

KFP represents everything that's wrong with Hollywood. This is the kind of throw-away garbage people want to see so that's the garbage they invest in making.