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Apoc

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Caught up with the girlfriend yesterday. Normally that puts me in a great mood for at least a couple days. Yesterday that wasn't the case - just lessened my misery a little bit. She knows what's going on though so there's that. Settle in and get comfy ladies and gents 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

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A number of very good Anxiety/Depression medications are on the market Relentless. I use Wellbutrin, but there area many to choose from. There is no shame in asking for help if you need it. If someone you have a good amount of affection for can barely move your current emotional situation, then you might need that help.

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Caught up with the girlfriend yesterday. Normally that puts me in a great mood for at least a couple days. Yesterday that wasn't the case - just lessened my misery a little bit. She knows what's going on though so there's that. Settle in and get comfy ladies and gents 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Hope you are doing ok Relentless and wishing you well.
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Trouble is medications are tricky business for an athlete. Off the top of my head I know of 1 anti-depressant on the WADA banned substances list and whilst I can get a medical exemption the process takes time and until the certificate comes in I wouldn't be able to take the meds. Counselling might be a better option since there's no risk associated with it. There is one significant difference in this bout. I actually have people I can turn to for support. Not only do I have my girlfriend and several close friends but I have you guys. Last time it got real bad I had nothing but my guitar and music to get me through. While I have lost the guitar I think cycling is a reasonable replacement. Knowing I have so many coping mechanisms does make it a little easier. Again thanks for the support guys you all rock.

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Hey Relentless I'm sorry to hear your struggling to find balance. My father was a psychiatrist, and from what I gather, very good at prescribing appropriate psychotropic drugs and getting the doses right and such. He felt many of the more recent and popular drugs were "poisonous garbage". I personally know nothing about them, but would caution anyone considering taking psychotropic medications to get a really good doctor, and also to resist the temptation to accept a prescription if you can (as you clearly already do). Don't let someone mess with your brain chemistry if they are on the side of the drug companies, and not on the side of your having balance. Sorry about the soap boxing, I'm sure many people have had their lives greatly improved by certain drugs. I know some myself I guess, but I think of one person in particular who used to be funnier, and more engaging then they are now that they are taking I don't know what for anxiety, and I wonder if it is the best thing. Why is it that you do not have a guitar? I'm glad you find solace in the support you receive from various directions, please put me on the list of people you know are thinking about you and wishing you well.

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Gorbo I still have all three of my guitars, and my amp, sadly though last year's accident pretty much wiped out all that knowledge. My fingers are still trained well enough to dance across the strings but that's no good if you can't remember what you're supposed to be playing. I'm a little reluctant to go on meds because I got properly messed up by the oxycodeine they had me on after my accident. I suspect that had more to do with the prolonged dizziness, memory issues, headaches, and nausea then my concussion. Today has pretty much been the worst I've felt in eighteen months. I've got all this great stuff going on in my life and all I can do is fucking mope and feel like crap dammit. WHAT THE FUCK! Just fucking weak man I mean for fuck sake I bounce back from a serious accident and smash the psychological barriers that came with that so easily. Now I can barely make it through the day without breaking down and I DON'T KNOW what brought this shit on. FUCK!

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I figured this was appropriate considering the recent theme in this thread lately. So I am extremely down today, I was supposed to drive to Toledo today for my little nieces birthday party. Well, I had my engine replaced in mu car two weeks ago, and on Thursday night I was driving it, and it started wobbling really bad and making a weird noise. So I tale it to a different place, where they showed me that the control arm was missing bolts and that my car was super unsafe to be driving. Anyways, so it was towed back to the place that changed my engine yesterday at like 4 pm, and so he tells me this morning that it would be done by 11 am, which gave me enough time to get to Toledo by 2 pm. Low and behold, I pick up my car, and it is STILL fucking up. So now I still have a shitty car, and missed my nieces birthday party, a niece in which who barely knows me because of my living three hours away, an aunt who cannot even make it to her most important day of the year. Fantastic.

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WHAT THE FUCK! Just fucking weak man I mean for fuck sake I bounce back from a serious accident and smash the psychological barriers that came with that so easily. Now I can barely make it through the day without breaking down and I DON'T KNOW what brought this shit on. FUCK!
Did anything remind you of something in your life you're still deeply dissatisfied with? I've been feeling pretty good over the summer but I heard 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy over the stereo in the student center and suddenly felt massively lonely and apathetic. That was because that exact song played when my best friend was gone on spring break and I was just kinda paralyzed mentally because I missed him very sorely. I keep occupied with schoolwork, usually. I'm blessed with a brain that can do that for me even if I'm feeling lousy. Anyhow, sorry for putting the focus on myself but the point is that you might just be reminded by small things. It seems to me like you're pretty good at setting goals for yourself, so I might as a non-qualified individual suggest you could focus on those (because accomplishing them gives a sense of achievement so you don't feel apathetic) or on just doing something engrossing. Whatever works. Usually one of those does the trick for me and gets my mind off of things.
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That's just the nature of depression I think. This would be the third bout and the only one for which I am unable to pinpoint the trigger. First time it was the breakdown of a relationship paired with disastrous uni results (initial cause and first diagnosis in late 2010), by early 2012 I was feeling ok again then mid 2012 more uni crap and home life were the tipping point, mid last year I was feeling ok and earlier this year I was feeling great. Could be lingering frustration due to this hamstring tendon injury paired with disappointment at my national road titles performance that has built over time. Anyway today is not a good day.

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That's just the nature of depression I think. This would be the third bout and the only one for which I am unable to pinpoint the trigger. First time it was the breakdown of a relationship paired with disastrous uni results (initial cause and first diagnosis in late 2010), by early 2012 I was feeling ok again then mid 2012 more uni crap and home life were the tipping point, mid last year I was feeling ok and earlier this year I was feeling great. Could be lingering frustration due to this hamstring tendon injury paired with disappointment at my national road titles performance that has built over time. Anyway today is not a good day.
Yeah, don't confuse a trigger with an actual reason, at least in my experience that's not the way it works. The best thing I've found in the long term is to eat well, get good sleep, etc - the healthier I am, the less it seems to affect me. Besides, if my research from the boobs thread last year is any indication, you're due for an upswing: http://metalforum.com/forum-games/1439-y-21.html#post83783 :D
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They don't seem like your kind of black metal, but they certainly don't deserve all of the shit they get leveled at them. They tend to be grouped in with blasturbation bands that put extremity over substance like Dark Funeral and Enthroned because of Frost's intense drumming, but they are much more intricate and actually write memorable and engaging material. It turns out that the drummer who was standing in for Frost on this tour plays in Job For a Cowboy, no fucking wonder...
I saw them with the same drummer at Area 51 and he played all the songs i know just fine. Sent from my SM-G386T using Tapatalk
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Georgetown's got these cannons in front of Healy Hall, the campus' most iconic building. When I graduate I hope to take a picture of me standing on one once all the serious shots have been taken, so that I can have at least one absolutely and undeniably metal photo of myself. 409a725be057091c4b1affbe26b3e02c

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Georgetown's got these cannons in front of Healy Hall, the campus' most iconic building. When I graduate I hope to take a picture of me standing on one once all the serious shots have been taken, so that I can have at least one absolutely and undeniably metal photo of myself. 409a725be057091c4b1affbe26b3e02c
Having Doritos dust on your fingers may ruin it... Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
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What the funniest prank a band member has pulled is? Today just completely sucked. My brother, pretty much the only family member I get on with (the oldest of the three younger brothers I have) was talking with me about how I'm feeling and things he thought might help. Pretty much told him to fuck off and leave me alone for no reason and now feel even worse for turning on someone who was just trying to help. What the fuck is wrong with me? No one deserves that (and the way I've put it is much kinder then what actually went down).

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What the funniest prank a band member has pulled is? Today just completely sucked. My brother, pretty much the only family member I get on with (the oldest of the three younger brothers I have) was talking with me about how I'm feeling and things he thought might help. Pretty much told him to fuck off and leave me alone for no reason and now feel even worse for turning on someone who was just trying to help. What the fuck is wrong with me? No one deserves that (and the way I've put it is much kinder then what actually went down).
Sorry to hear it, dude, sounds like you owe him an apology.
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2 weeks out from the house move and we are still packing. How can 2 people accumulate so much crap?? On the plus side I have convinced my girlfriend she does not need to run herself into the floor cleaning this place to with an inch of it's life before we leave. We'll leave it tidy but that bitch of a landlady can do the deep clean her fucking self!

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Yeah the bitch is moving in after us so she can do whatever she needs to. Won't leave it a shithole but won't have the gf running herself into the floor over it - she picks up the keys to the new place on the morning before I fly home from Ireland so she will have it gleaming before I get anywhere near the new place god bless her. EDIT Did all the plaster repair work yesterday, pictures, mirrors and dart boards all take their toll.

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