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Apoc

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Once the flesh falls off, it's awfully hard to tell the difference... :D Relentless - your package has been mailed. Iceni - Michiel, a Facebook friend of mine, asked me to say hello to you from someone called "Midi".
Well now that I have a live one the task is much easier... Cheers mate, and it only just dawned on me that I'll now have two shirts from bands represented on our humble forum, now where did I put that Nevertanezra tee... Now see limited though they are facebook does have its uses. Our old friend Abysmi is still around as well but boy is he ever busy.
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Visit to my Grandmothers was really nice, glorious weather driving there and back, windows down and Sabbath blasting out. My gran has recovered well from her polymyalgia rheumatica and it seems under control and they are already looking at reducing her steroid dosage. The last time I saw her she couldn't move without crying out in pain so to see her waiting at the door to receive me today was a nice thing to see. Also got to take the girlfriend to work and pick her up again which is a nice change for her instead her having to drive herself there and back. Plus, gave me more Sabbath time of course!

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Well there's the all too familiar feelings of self-doubt, depression, and anger. Really did think I was past those but I guess not. I mean what's the point? I try and I try and I try but I never get anywhere. Doesn't matter how hard I fight and push and try to drag myself up and get somewhere, anywhere, I wind up in the exact same place. Honestly don't even know why I bother anymore. Don't know what happened to make me feel this way either.

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Well there's the all too familiar feelings of self-doubt' date=' depression, and anger. Really did think I was past those but I guess not. I mean what's the point? I try and I try and I try but I never get anywhere. Doesn't matter how hard I fight and push and try to drag myself up and get somewhere, anywhere, I wind up in the exact same place. Honestly don't even know why I bother anymore. Don't know what happened to make me feel this way either.[/quote'] My experience with depression is that it's not something you grow out of, that magically goes away somehow; it's something you learn how to deal with, and at least IMO it's really important to stop identifying with it. When you come out of it and you're happy again, do you ever think you must be a naturally happy person, because you always wind up feeling good eventually? You know it's all temporary. Besides, you have a package of merch from Brooklyn to look forward to. :D
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You're not alone. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 16, but didn't start taking the meds or going to counseling until I was 28. It pretty much robbed me of the experiences a normal person is supposed to have in their twenties. But I finally decided I needed to do something about it before I ended up hurting myself, or someone else. Be it emotionally or physically. It never goes away, but there are levels of depression you can deal with, an I have managed to climb myself up to a point where the blueness is more just a nuisance than a life destroyer. Falling in love with someone, and proving a point to yourself that maybe you don't deserve to be alone helped me quite a bit too.

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Well there's the all too familiar feelings of self-doubt' date=' depression, and anger. Really did think I was past those but I guess not. I mean what's the point? I try and I try and I try but I never get anywhere. Doesn't matter how hard I fight and push and try to drag myself up and get somewhere, anywhere, I wind up in the exact same place. Honestly don't even know why I bother anymore. Don't know what happened to make me feel this way either.[/quote'] Hope you feel better *hugs*
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Hope you feel better soon RO. You come across as a much stronger person than your post above suggests. My father suffers with depression when his Parkinsons escalates (or worse still develops a stage) but he has learned that for all the bad times there are lots of good to outshine them in the longer term.

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