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Goatwarming. Word of the week, maybe of the month.

Tau Cross - Pillar of Fire Tau Cross - Tau Cross Amebix - Sonic Mass Napalm Death - Scum Napalm Death - Harmony Corruption Napalm Death - Throes of Joy Killing Joke - Absolute Dissent Killing Joke - Hosannas

Goatwarming? Yeah, baby.

Hey. Thank you guys for your encouraging words. It seriously means a lot. Nah. I know what I believe to be right, but better? No way man. If anything I've seen your general sense of empathy on this board and the way you fret over this little cobwebbed corner of the internet is... What's the metal equivalent of heart warming? I'll have to think on that. The stinky human element is honestly something that I'm the least worried about. Grandpa is primarily suffering from something hard to pin down that's causing blood pressure spikes, and loss of balance. If this continues to worsen before they know what's going on, it may come to full time care. We're not to the point of ass-wiping yet, but it's certainly a possibility. I know nobody's quite as quick mentally in their eighties as they were before, but I've been told that mentally he has detectably lost a step. His wife (my grandmother) died about seven or eight years ago with dementia among other problems, and those last few years were very hard on him, but from what I understand he's still self aware and able to read and write and speak. He just gets a little lost sometimes when in conversation and has trouble tracking the course of discussions that get a little lift off. Typical two alarm stuff for his age. Financially I can live like a Spartan if I have to, and speaking as a stinky bag of offal and meat myself, I've seen what we all look like turned inside out, and I don't consider it an indignity personally. Only real concern in that regard is if my aunts and uncles believe I'm responsible enough for the task, and I honestly relish the chance to prove my worth in that measure. Ahh. The sacred rite of the elderly to make the young people around them uncomfortable by talking about their own death. Is it weird that I'm actually looking forward to that for myself? One really awful trait I've always had is my staunch belief that there are few things in life funnier than frightening children, and making young adults squirm. I don't know how I would have ever made it to my thirties if I wasn't allowed to laugh at some wealthy people getting crushed in a depressurized submarine or some backwoods fellow pouring half a bottle of whiskey up his ass to fire firecrackers from his torched lower GI system. These things are funny, and on witnessing them I will exercise my right to laugh. As far as my own death I have expressed in no uncertain terms that I am to be taken to the Henry Dorly Zoo with a bottle of Wild Turkey 101 and not to be stopped from trying to ride the rhino. A victory for both of us.

As someone living with the consequences of family not making plans for an elderly loved one in their later years, good on you @Nasty_Cabbage. I'll be honest, I contemplate murder more than I should, but I also practice a good deal of restraint. I wouldn't say I asked to be in the situation or even rogered up for it, but there are zero resources where I live and I can't see the old bag homeless. We're getting on alright but praying for a speedy end. Just be sure to take time for yourself because I promise, despite the best of intentions, it will weigh on you heavily after a while. Especially if and when the dementia kicks in. Here's hoping you find it better than I.

Avulsed - Yearning For the Grotesque, Madrid 2003 Rottrevore - Iniquitous, Pennsylvania 1993

Immolation - Failures for Gods (1999)

Incubus - Beyond the Unknown (1990)

Deicide - Legion (1992)

Voivod - Nothingface

Deathspell Omega - FAS - Ite, Maledicti, in ignem Aeternum

what did you think of the orchestral version? I gave the studio an initial listen the other day...

NP: Ingested - Surpassing the Boundaries of Human Suffering ▶︎ Surpassing the Boundaries of Human Suffering | Ingested | Unique Leader Records (bandcamp.com) Wow. For a brutal/slam band whose first full length came in 2009 this album seemingly has a ton of defenders who regard this album as a classic. Every once in a while I'll go in for this type of thing. Devourment or Skinless are usually my go-to in that case. Weird I hadn't heard this one.

Edge of Sanity - Infernal (1997) Far from being the band's best album, but it's the one I wanted to listen to.

I don't hate Sonic Youth, but I'm not real enthusiastic about them either. I have Goo but I haven't played it in forever. I think I like the idea of Sonic Youth more than I actually enjoy their music. At the end of the day it's still pop music just muddied up a bit and you know how I feel about pop. Unless it's the Beatles. Underground Youth though is awesome if you like stripped down bare bones dark rock with hints of post punk and goth. I think my favorite album so far is Sadovaya. Always amazing to me how a band like this with all these albums under their belt could slip under my radar for 15 years the way they have. Swans - Love of Liife, 1992

You've got a selfless attitude and appreciation for the elders in your family. That's a hard situation, but you obviously feel up to it and proud to be asked but it is a really big commitment. A lot can change in your life quickly. Thanks for sharing.

I'm pretty sure my old man's not doing it to make me feel uncomfortable because he knows it doesn't. He's doing it too make excuses for not being as enthusiastic about things as he once was. He's doing it to remind me that although the house is technically on my dirt it's still his house and he'll do what he fucking likes when he likes. We've talked open and honestly about death for a long time. Being executor and enduring power of attorney for both my parents I've known exactly what they want to happen and how much of it they have organised. I even know what they'll leave behind and what they'll be worth when they go. My dad was faced with his father's dying bullshit where my grand father orchestrated a rift so deep between Dad and his brother that they would never talk again after his death. He planned it long before he died and it played out almost fucking perfectly because Dad's brother hasn't spoken to any of us since the will was read. Dad (as executor) even went against the will and gave his brother an equal share of the estate. But the fact that his own father actually wanted to give my uncle as little as legally possible and gave him no say on the estate drove the wedge deep. 10 or so years on that wedge is still there and that made my old man the polar opposite to his dad.

Thanks man, I appreciate the recos. Yeah this kind of dark quiet stuff is great. I started with How I Loved You and it's exactly the kind of thing I look for, I just don't really know how or where to find this kind of stuff like I've learned how to find my filth. I usually either get stuff from Marko or just randomly stumble over it like I did with The Underground Youth last night. When I go outside of metal and punk I often like to go all the way out to mellow shit like this. I find stuff like this can be just as powerful as the brutal deathgrind and such, just in a different way. I guess I gravitate toward the extremes on both ends of the spectrum and eschew most of the normie "metal adjacent" shit in the middle. I'll definitey spin Love of Life after I figure out what I'm making for dinner here. Cheers!

My parents wouldn't expect us to look after them. Mow the lawn, clean the house maybe that sort of stuff but if they can't cook for themselves they'll put themselves into a retirement home. The time will come when they want to get out of the house they are in, mum already pays a gardener to do the any gardening that isn't vegetable. Dad just seems to want to remind me constantly that it's going to happen. What he doesn't realise is that I know it's going to happen and I have plans for that bit of dirt!!

Yep. You are a good man.

If you find yourself in the mood for more, Love Of Life is right along the same lines as White Light, and The Great Annihilator is similar if a little slicker and less oddball. The first few are a lot more aggressive. If you're feeling really mellow you should check out the first two or three Angels Of Light albums, that was the more acoustic band Gira had for a few years after Swans broke up in the 90s. I saw them several times and they were awesome. You might also dig DBUK. Similar vibe to Angels Of Light in spots, dark and quirky.

You're a better man than I Cabbie, I couldn't do it full time. You mean like bathing him and shaving him and spoonfeeding him and wiping his ass and everything? That's not easy even part time. And like you said it could go on for years. How would you support yourself financially? My parents and grandparents are all long gone at this point so I won't have to make any more of those types of tough decisions. My mom was institutionalized in an assisted living place, and then finally near the end in a nursing home for close to a decade after my father died suddenly in 2007 at 72. I hate just being in those places, the concentration of old people that don't really wanna be there makes me feel a little uncomfortable. She also had schizophrenia and heard voices which made me extremely uncomfortable. I hated having to put her in there, but sometimes it's the most practical option. Even though personally I think I'd want to end myself if I was sentenced to do time in the old folks home. I'm just not cut out to be institutionalized. My daughter will probably take me in one day, or so she says. She's 33 now, her youngest kid will be 6 in April so I'll assume all 3 grandkids will be grown and out of the house by the time that becomes necessary. My biggest problem with this scenario is I really wouldn't want to live in fucking Florida. Unless my boy Navy the caregiver were to take me in, then at least I know I'd have good tunes and good food and good booze for my twilight years.

Was sick all last week with a cold but no fever. Sometimes I just like to slow it down and mellow out with some good quiet introspective depressing shit. I know some people have probably gotten the impression that I only do filth fury and brutality 24/7 and sometimes I do nothing but for weeks on end. I like my metal pretty extreme and filthy. But the truth is I do also like a lot of non-metal stuff, and I usually go for pretty mellow stuff that's more laid back like this. I just can't get down with your typical commercial normie poseur metal, or metalcore, nu-metal, rap-rock, alt-rock, pop music, trendy shit like that just irritates me to no end. And of course prog and avant garde remain on the no-fly list. And with a small handful of exceptions I'm pretty well over most of the classic rock and 80's glam and mainstream stuff that I listened to 40-50 years ago. I wouldn't be able to sit and listen to an entire Ozzy or Maiden or Dio or WASP album at this point if you gave me $20. That stuff served its purpose back in the day, and I'm not casting aspersions on anyone who still digs that kind of stuff, but I've just moved on from there. So now in my old age I'm revisiting some of this 80's and 90's stuff that I just wasn't open to hearing years ago because it sounded weak and effeminate to me. I suppose in retrospect maybe that attitude was a bit homophobic to be quite frank, but that's how I felt. But now over the last decade or so I might have grown up just a bit finally, and I've been able to set some of those prejudices aside. I've come to really enjoy some of this stuff that everyone's so surprised I would like, stuff that I never would have given the time of day to 30 or 40 years ago quite a bit. And as far as Integrity is concerned, they were criminally underrated for so many years, it's good to see them finally get some recognition within metal circles the last 5 or 10 years. Howling was a bit of a comeback album for them in '17, showed the world they still have what it takes. Such a great band. Might have to break out of my Underground Youth trance here and jam some Integrity.

I've sampled quite a few Swans albums over the years, don't remember all which ones specifically, he's got so many different albums. Marko's been touting them for years and years. I clicked on a few different ones yesterday then settled on this one because it was exactly what I was looking for. Turned out to be a really good album too. I'll try some more of his, come to think of it I might have actually clicked on Filth yesterday in my search for depressing post punk before settling on White Light. I find it virtually impossible to resist clicking on anything that has the word Filth in the title. But today I'm stuck on The Underground Youth. That was my life changing discovery from yesterday, I simply can't get enough of these guys. They're not metal obviously, but when I'm not metalling or punking it up this is the kind of bleak subdued shit I go for. I could listen to this band all day. The Underground Youth- Low Slow Needle

WTF? You might be running a fever. Interesting album tho. NP: Integrity-Howling for the Nightmare Shall Consume (2017) -forget all this retro NWOHM and bogus so called proto metal copycat stuff, many albums from which I, in fact own, if you want to find classic metal, the best stuff is imbedded in extreme metal of one form or another like this Integrity album. WP (was playing): Woe/Quietly, undramatically

CHAPEL PERILOUS - The Tower Of Silence ....this is really good....

I've listened to close to half of their albums over the last few days, but not in order or back to back or anything. I don't do full catalog runs for bands with that many albums, I'd get bored listening to just one band for two days straight. I'll jump around and listen to two or three at a time and then play some other stuff in between to break it up. And Also the Trees - The Klaxon, 1993 experimental UK post-punk. The Underground Youth - Mademoiselle, Manchester born, Berlin based, 2010

Dødheimsgard - Black Medium Current Nyktalgia - s/t

Seen a few weeks ago: The former Bathory drummer made a movie that I really liked. It's impossible for me to know what's true or false in the movie (even after reading the book The Lords of Chaos), but I enjoyed the atmosphere. I thought the actors were pretty good. I note that the two crime scenes in the movie are shot in a very contemplative way. No detail is spared, which could easily tip The Lords of Chaos into the slasher or even horror genre.

Re: Best Replacement Singer? Joey Belladonna- Anthrax, Mike Patton- FNM