Body Image & Fitness

[Ghouly]

Not sure this thread has been started before but it prompted some thoughts from me.

Husband: "Would you like it if I bulked up a bit?"

Me: "Hell yeah, of course I would. But I think you're sexy as you are."

So my hubs knows that I love Arnie and Sly Stallone, I enjoy watching the Iceland strongman competitions for the eye-candy. I think bulked up bodybuilders are sexy. But I also think skinny guys are sexy. I think fat guys (to a point) are *really* sexy.  He's quite tall and thin, at 6'2" and about 180 lbs. He's got that sort of long and lean body that never seems to get fat no matter what he eats or drinks. I think even if he tried to bulk up it would take a lot of muscle to fill out his frame.

I told him if he wants to do it, he should do it for himself and not for me. I like him however he is as long as he's happy.

Now, as for me, I've been working on my body since 2012.  I don't readily admit this but I used to be fat. And not like chubby, or chunky or obese. I used to be morbidly obese, 300 pounds at my fattest, BMI of 51, on a small 5'1" frame, size 24 jeans and 44 DDD bra. Through really strict dieting, self control and exercise I lost 145 pounds and have maintained my current 154 for a year now.  The weird thing about going through this kind of change is that in my head I am still a fat person, and I have body dysmorphia. I accidentally pick up and try on clothes way way too big for me out of habit and when I look in the mirror I still feel 'huge'.  I look at airline seats and think I won't fit but then I do. It's very strange cognitive dissonance between where my body is and where my head thinks it is.

Strangely, my husband always thought I was attractive. I don't get it.  He's still finding me attractive but as a boob man he is a bit disappointed with my chest being a B-cup. 

Anyway, I'm doing my body for me. Not for him or anyone else. I still have more work to go. I want to get my body fat percentage down even more, I'm at 29% which is average but I would like to get down to 25%, drop one more jean size, and I want to actually bulk up a little more muscle which isn't something I'm concerned about.
As I've already made very apparent on the food thread I focus a lot on paleo eating, about 90% of the time. For exercise I do 10 minute HIIT workouts that I learned on youtube from fitnessblender, and I also bike ride now.

I'm interested to hear what you guys think of your body, what you're doing or wanting to do about it (if anything) fitness-wise, and what do you think about the opposite gender?

[RelentlessOblivion]

Ok well I'm 182cm tall and weigh about 62 kilograms. You guys can do the conversions. I love cycling, have since I first started in 2012, and am becoming increasingly motivated to compete on the international stage one day. All my energy right now is being put into training harder then ever before (the penny finally dropped in the last fortnight or so). I want to gain about eight kilograms to give me the power to match my endurance.

 

I don't tend to notice how other people look to be honest. Personality is what counts for me mostly because I can't see what someone looks like half the time. My ex was short, skinny-ish, and I was defs attracted to her so I guess I'd say I like girls that are skinny without being stick figures. Hard to typify what I find attractive when I can't see so well.

[mindy6158]

Well honestly because of the media and society in general, I would say quite a large percentage of individuals has some form of low self esteem when it comes to image. It is inevitable and especially with women, although it is getting more and more difficult for men.  Your husband probably even asked you that question because he himself is not totally comfortable with his body surely, which is sad as hell, since slim men can be some of the sexiest out there.  As for your self disclosing about your history of being overweight, you are beautiful now and surely you were beautiful then, only now you are healthier.  I completely understand where you are coming from, except my experiences have been at the opposite end of the spectrum. I literally was built like a string bean with an ass (track, sports, etc), until I was about 23. I had zero curves, and now all of a sudden I am finally starting to get some.  I have never really cared honestly, I was 95 pounds in high school at 5'2" and never had trouble landing a boyfriend, whether short term or long term, and I still have no trouble whatsoever, at only 115 pounds with minimal boobage =P  Speaking of boobage, the last time that my size honestly effected me was at age like 14.  That has never been an issue, because I know the females who were deemed "curvaceous" with large breasts in high school are now fat lards with saggy tits at 27, while I still have the body of a 18 year old. haha  So do not fret over your boob size, your husband will feel blessed when you are 53 and still rocking perky boobs. Lastly, most of the dirty comments I have ever gotten about my body have been from other females. I literally have not heard a guy talk shit at all since I was about 13.  The main times I have noticed that I become envious is when I see a female with a gorgeous face and hair and skin like a baby butt and no dark eye circles.  I try hard not to compare but sometimes that shit just happens, especially when upon waking you look like you can just walk onto the set of the walking dead and no make up is needed. haha

haha sorry about that novel holy shit. I got started and could not stop =P

Also, how do you know your husband does not like your B cups?  

[FatherAlabaster]

I think I developed a problem with my body image about ten years ago. I've hated my face since I was a child, although I've mostly come to terms with that, but when I was 25, I ended a 5+ year relationship and spent a brief but formative time with a woman who had very serious body image issues. Since then, I've been extremely critical of my own appearance, and sensitive to minor fluctuations that I never used to care about. Until about 3 years ago, I worked in construction, and got my exercise (as well as a significant amount of wear and tear) on the job. Since I started staying home with my son, I've been less active, and some of the injuries I acquired at work have come home to roost. 

The problem with hypersensitivity is that if I don't make the time to exercise, I'll get depressed and hate myself for being old and fat, but if I do pushups and yoga for a week, I'll think I'm the shit. Neither one of those things is true. I have a very normal, slightly overweight build at the moment, and I need to be careful because of a family history of obesity and diabetes, but what would help the most is not being so fucking stressed about it, and that's a problem I can't seem to make any progress on except by suppressing it.

[Ghouly]

 

Also, how do you know your husband does not like your B cups?  

He simply said so, and offered to pay for implants if I wanted it. Told him nope, I was done with big boobs, and he said he'll support whatever decision I want.

He, like many men, isn't totally satisfied with his body. I have zero problems with it, but he would love to be bulky and defined. And I support whatever he wants to do to feel happy about his body.

Also, totes not surprised you never have trouble finding a boyfriend

 

Ok well I'm 182cm tall and weigh about 62 kilograms. You guys can do the conversions. I love cycling, have since I first started in 2012, and am becoming increasingly motivated to compete on the international stage one day. All my energy right now is being put into training harder then ever before (the penny finally dropped in the last fortnight or so). I want to gain about eight kilograms to give me the power to match my endurance.

 

I don't tend to notice how other people look to be honest. Personality is what counts for me mostly because I can't see what someone looks like half the time. My ex was short, skinny-ish, and I was defs attracted to her so I guess I'd say I like girls that are skinny without being stick figures. Hard to typify what I find attractive when I can't see so well.

Do you have a specific plan for gaining the kilos outside of bike training?

I think I developed a problem with my body image about ten years ago. I've hated my face since I was a child, although I've mostly come to terms with that, but when I was 25, I ended a 5+ year relationship and spent a brief but formative time with a woman who had very serious body image issues. Since then, I've been extremely critical of my own appearance, and sensitive to minor fluctuations that I never used to care about. Until about 3 years ago, I worked in construction, and got my exercise (as well as a significant amount of wear and tear) on the job. Since I started staying home with my son, I've been less active, and some of the injuries I acquired at work have come home to roost. 

The problem with hypersensitivity is that if I don't make the time to exercise, I'll get depressed and hate myself for being old and fat, but if I do pushups and yoga for a week, I'll think I'm the shit. Neither one of those things is true. I have a very normal, slightly overweight build at the moment, and I need to be careful because of a family history of obesity and diabetes, but what would help the most is not being so fucking stressed about it, and that's a problem I can't seem to make any progress on except by suppressing it.

Dude I thought you looked great and healthy. You didn't look overweight to me at all. I know that's just my opinion and it doesn't count for as much as how you yourself feel.  Is there a middle ground between doing nothing at all, and doing a little? Like 3x a week jog or yoga?

[mindy6158]

 

What the fuck I cannot believe he just came out and said it. Also I have literally never heard any guy at all whatsoever unless they were a "bro" say that fake tits> non existent.  Literally every man I know would rather have a gf with AAAAAA cups than hard rocks.  Tell him that, no, women do not like being titty fucked, and to stop watching so much mainstream pornography. hahaha

 

I dont know wtf just happened but I am not editing it.

I think I developed a problem with my body image about ten years ago. I've hated my face since I was a child, although I've mostly come to terms with that, but when I was 25, I ended a 5+ year relationship and spent a brief but formative time with a woman who had very serious body image issues. Since then, I've been extremely critical of my own appearance, and sensitive to minor fluctuations that I never used to care about. Until about 3 years ago, I worked in construction, and got my exercise (as well as a significant amount of wear and tear) on the job. Since I started staying home with my son, I've been less active, and some of the injuries I acquired at work have come home to roost. 

The problem with hypersensitivity is that if I don't make the time to exercise, I'll get depressed and hate myself for being old and fat, but if I do pushups and yoga for a week, I'll think I'm the shit. Neither one of those things is true. I have a very normal, slightly overweight build at the moment, and I need to be careful because of a family history of obesity and diabetes, but what would help the most is not being so fucking stressed about it, and that's a problem I can't seem to make any progress on except by suppressing it.

Not to be overly flattering, but you honestly have no reason whatsoever to feel down on yourself.  You are super good looking.  But that is crazy about your exes behavior reflecting onto you.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Yeah Ghouls I've ditched a lot of the crap food I used to eat, along with sugary drinks and alcohol, instead I'm eating healthy and more throughout the day. Today I had a big bowl of muesli for breakfast, yoghut and nuts mid-morning, leftover pasta for lunch, and just now I'm making a berry smoothie. Between the exercise and improved diet I should put the weight on in the right places. I've also changed my routine to include a more intense core workout: 10x10 knee to chest jumps, star jumps, push ups, sit ups, crunches, lunges, and burpees. Core strength is crucial for tandem cycling - if you've got a weak core your weight moving around really throws the bike. I have a very high metabolism though so gaining weight has always been tough. I guess you could say I'm not happy with my body but it's not in a negative way if that makes sense. I mean I'm confortable in my own skin and my reasons for wanting to change things are to get the absolute most out of myself in my athletic pursuits.

[FatherAlabaster]

Is there a middle ground between doing nothing at all, and doing a little? Like 3x a week jog or yoga?

I do a little exercise now, just nothing like when I was working. I need to do more. I'm limited by my back and knee injuries, but I know people who have it way worse, so I'm not complaining. I have a therapeutic yoga routine that I'm going to do this morning,  and pushups and light weights. I'd love to get more weights and ride my bike regularly; I used to do about 10 miles a day to and from work, kinda miss that. 

Intellectually, I understand that I'm reasonably healthy. I think it's just a matter of retraining my mind. My wife has talked to me about the eating disorder she had when she was a teenager. I'm nowhere near that territory. It's just strange to me, how I picked up that ex-gf's problem of negative self-regard.

The biggest change I need to make to my diet is to stop enjoying beer so much. It's been nearly a week since I completely dropped caffeine, and I think it's the best decision I've made in a long time. I finally wake up with energy, I find myself drinking more water, and I'm remembering my dreams regularly for the first time in decades. 

[RelentlessOblivion]

Caffeine is my only vice now. I have cut back though from 3 to 1 cup of coffee a day. I've got the whole low self-esteem/self-worth thing but that's not anything to do with how I look.

 

Rough guess 10 miles would be 22 kilometers? My Saturday morning ride is normally about 55km, 70+ if we do the "mega-ride". I'll be looking to the hills and 100+ km rides once the fitness comes back. Shouldn't be more then a couple weeks - the body has an amazing way of snapping back to past fitness levels quickly.

[FatherAlabaster]

Rough guess 10 miles would be 22 kilometers? My Saturday morning ride is normally about 55km, 70+ if we do the "mega-ride". I'll be looking to the hills and 100+ km rides once the fitness comes back. Shouldn't be more then a couple weeks - the body has an amazing way of snapping back to past fitness levels quickly.

Less, about 17. That was my work commute. The longest ride I've done for fun was 85km, roughly. That was when I really figured out that my old bike didn't fit me well. Strain from biking is part of what weakened my knees, so I've got to be careful. I'm hoping that I'll have time to develop a regular schedule at some point. 

[RelentlessOblivion]

I peaked out around 121 kilometers but that was years ago with nothing like the pace I ride these days. Yeah riding a bike that isn't sized properly is a good way to cause all kinds of problems. Cycling is a low-impact form of exercise normally but if you have pre-existing issues or are pretty unlucky it can do some damage.

[Black Milk]

I just started properly working out maybe 3 years ago, growing up I was fairly active but I ended up taking a few injuries that slowed me down a good bit, then once I discovered drugs and alcohol it was game over. I'm about 5'9, maaaaybe 5'10, and weighed about 170 at 18 years old, but somewhere about 3 years ago i was in a pretty miserable long term relationship, and we all know how that can affect your health. I was something like 205, all fucking beer and burrito weight, so I started running about 3 miles a week and dropped 30 pounds within a month. Then I eventually moved into lifting, now it's a huge part of my week to the point where I get cranky as shit if i dont get to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. I'm back at my normal weight now, fluctuating from 175-180. Im not cut up by any means, nor am I terribly thin, but I think I look fairly good shirtless, so there's that haha 

If I were a little more strict about my diet, and alcohol intake, I'd be in infinitely better shape than I am, but eh.....fuck it. I'll do that later.

[Ghouly]

I just started properly working out maybe 3 years ago, growing up I was fairly active but I ended up taking a few injuries that slowed me down a good bit, then once I discovered drugs and alcohol it was game over. I'm about 5'9, maaaaybe 5'10, and weighed about 170 at 18 years old, but somewhere about 3 years ago i was in a pretty miserable long term relationship, and we all know how that can affect your health. I was something like 205, all fucking beer and burrito weight, so I started running about 3 miles a week and dropped 30 pounds within a month. Then I eventually moved into lifting, now it's a huge part of my week to the point where I get cranky as shit if i dont get to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. I'm back at my normal weight now, fluctuating from 175-180. Im not cut up by any means, nor am I terribly thin, but I think I look fairly good shirtless, so there's that haha 

If I were a little more strict about my diet, and alcohol intake, I'd be in infinitely better shape than I am, but eh.....fuck it. I'll do that later.

Good that you've managed to turn your health around a bit after a bad relationship.   What muscle groups do you focus on primarily and do you use machines or free weights?

Edited October 29, 2015 by Ghouly

[RelentlessOblivion]

I actually don't do weights, never have, since my legs are where I want to add muscle mass cycling is enough.

[BlutAusNerd]

I guess it's my turn, haha. I was always short and skinny growing up, I think I graduated high school at 5'7 and 140 lbs. I had taken weight training my senior year, but it didn't change anything. My friend that took weight training with me got way into fitness and nutrition, and set my wife and I up with a fitness and diet program tailored to us that evolved every week as we saw him. Within 3 months, I got pretty ripped, I was at about 175 lbs., 10% body fat, and felt amazing. I fell off it a bit, but then hopped back on right before our wedding, getting back into just about the same shape. I haven't been back to the gym since, so 6.5 years later, you could say that I'm out of shape. I stayed around 180-185 while I was still more physical at work, but when I took over the whole operation, I started spending more time in the office, now I'm at 193 lbs., and I feel exhausted whenever I exert myself. People call it "marriage weight" or "parent weight", and that's no joke, between work and family, I barely have time for even band practice, let alone exercise. My diet has also taken a dive, so I'm far from my peak. I would like to get back to it at some point, but don't see it happening any time soon honestly. Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

[RelentlessOblivion]

I dunno man running around after your little girl will get you back in shape quick smart  how is she anyway?

[FatherAlabaster]

BAN, I know the feeling. Even though I'm home with my kid right now, hanging out with him or having family time isn't conducive to exercise. The best I can do, usually, is walk around a bunch. 

It's cute though, my son sees me doing pushups and tries to imitate me, but he doesn't bend his arms. He just holds himself up and kind of bobs his body up and down while doing "explosive breathing".

[RelentlessOblivion]

Actually come to think of it I do have two vices. Caffeine and the best tasting protein shake in the world. My reward for putting myself through all kinds of hell is a post-workout protein shake...yep living the dream.

[BlutAusNerd]

I dunno man running around after your little girl will get you back in shape quick smart  how is she anyway?

Well, by the time I get home from work, I only get to spend a couple of hours with her before her bed time, which only leaves time for dinner and a little bit of play. I'm usually so wiped out from the 12 hour workday that I can't play as much as I would like, but work has been keeping me more active lately with having to fulfill my already overwhelming role and being the sole person in the warehouse for most of the day too. As for Winter herself, she's wonderful. She won't be 2 until February, but I shit you not when I say that she has a better vocabulary than some adults. She can form sentences, is already wonderful at problem solving, and enunciates multi-syllabic words extraordinarily well. Her doctor says that her development is close to a year ahead of schedule, which is a ton considering this same doctor said that she would likely be behind due to her small size and premature birth. Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

[RelentlessOblivion]

That's fantastic. 

[FatherAlabaster]

No fitness thread would be complete without this dumb meme...

[Iceni]

I'm about to do just that, as a matter of fact...

I mean I will cut it up into slices. I don't wanna get fat.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Giving up on the all Doritos diet?

[Iceni]

Actually, I am trying to diet just a bit. Mainly that's been more vegetables and less beef.

[RelentlessOblivion]

I'm also upping my veggie intake. I'm not super keen on veggies just by themselves but in curry, pasta, and stir-fry I'll wolf that shit down. Consequently I'm eating more curry, pasta, and stir fry.