Bullet For My Valentine

[JBaker]

I don't mind them not knowing anything about metal' date=' I mind them acting like they do. If I meet someone who has interest in something I know nothing about, I would politely ask that person to tell me more about it without throwing in his face conclusions based on few general information that may be full of prejudice. I would never get angry or annoyed with someone who hasn't got a clue about what I'm talking about. But I don't like when people who heard there is a band called Guns'n'Roses become metal experts just to prove a point or continue the conversation.[/quote'] Fair enough. In such a situation it's best to just politely clarify things for them and then just move on and try to find something else in common. If not, maybe just accept this isn't someone you're ever gonna want to talk to. If you do manage to strike up a friendship, though, the stereotypes they had of metal fans is likely to disappear once they've got to know you properly. Then again, I'm a permanent wheelchair-user, which carries with it a certain stigma so, when I first meet someone, the last thing I'm expecting them to judge me on is my music taste, unfortunately. :L

[Atrocity]

Then again' date=' I'm a permanent wheelchair-user, which carries with it a certain stigma so, when I first meet someone, the last thing I'm expecting them to judge me on is my music taste, unfortunately. :L[/quote'] Judging by music taste makes some sense because it is someone's choice. Somehow I doubt being in a wheelchair was your choice, and I will never understand how people can judge someone on something physical, like appearance or abilities.

[Atrocity]

What does annoy me is when people think' date=' based solely on one small detail such as the music I listen to, that they know absolutely everything about me. I was not aware that the phrase "I listen to metal" contained hidden information detailing everything about me. This is especially funny when the inferences being made are entirely incorrect.[/quote'] This is exactly what I was talking about! I like metal so my favorite color must be black, I don't like any other music and can't even appreciate someone with talent who doesn't play metal. Maybe the most ridiculous question I've been asked is why I don't have red hair like the other metal girls. Well aside from being a natural blond and loving my hair color, red dye doesn't make me 'more metal' -.-

[RelentlessOblivion]

There are certain expectations associated with disabilities unfortunately. These expectations tend to be rather negative as well which is quite frustrating. If you should then happen to challenge the perceptions of what a person in your position can and can't do it can then be quite startling. It's as if on the surface people want you to overcome any adversities, but, secretly they desperately hope you fail miserably so they can gloat and remind you again how stupid you were to aspire for something beyond your perceived capacity.

[JBaker]

Judging by music taste makes some sense because it is someone's choice. Somehow I doubt being in a wheelchair was your choice' date=' and I will never understand how people can judge someone on something physical, like appearance or abilities.[/quote'] Yeah, they don't tend to judge me nastily or anything, but the most predominant assumption is I must also have some form of learning disability, if 'my legs don't work properly'. As someone who places quite a lot of importance on education, has been studying pretty academic subjects for most of my life, and enjoys intellectual discussion/debate with people, this assumption tends to drive me mad. To some people, you can prove them wrong and eventually they get it. Others are just too wrapped up in their own prejudices and preconceptions to open their mind even a little, and this rings true for people's attitude to metal fans as well.

[Atrocity]

In this day and age, when information is basically hitting you in the head wherever you turn, that kind of prejudices are really unbelievable.

[JBaker]

There are certain expectations associated with disabilities unfortunately. These expectations tend to be rather negative as well which is quite frustrating. If you should then happen to challenge the perceptions of what a person in your position can and can't do it can then be quite startling. It's as if on the surface people want you to overcome any adversities' date=' but, secretly they desperately hope you fail miserably so they can gloat and remind you again how stupid you were to aspire for something beyond your perceived capacity.[/quote'] So much truth has never been expressed in an internet comment before!

[JBaker]

So, a thread on a really shit whiny metalcore band started by a troll (probably) whose name is a reference to spunk has led to all this. Amazing.

[FatherAlabaster]

Honestly - and without wishing to offend JBaker - it does seem like being confined to a wheelchair would be a hard thing for some people to get past. It's such an obvious physical difference. I don't think it's the same as making a "value judgement" about somebody, in the sense that you like or don't like them because of good or bad attributes, but a lot things go through my head when I meet someone who's disabled, like: what happened? Will they need my help? Will they get upset if I offer help, or if I ask about their condition? And of course the worst one - is there anything else wrong that I can't see? I can't stop any of those thoughts from happening; the best I can do is ignore them and move on. Once I've started actually relating to a person it doesn't matter one bit what they look like, but the act of moving beyond those initial thoughts puts its own color on the beginning of a relationship.

I really hope it becomes better when you're older' date=' but I hoped that 24-year-olds are reasonable enough not to make childish assumptions.[/quote'] BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, I'm sorry... I remember thinking the same thing about people in their late 20s, mid 30s, mid 40s... If only it was true.

[BlutAusNerd]

Re: Bullet For My Valentine

So' date=' a thread on a really shit whiny metalcore band started by a troll (probably) whose name is a reference to spunk has led to all this. Amazing. [/quote'] It's a good thing this thread took that turn, it was pretty worthless originally. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

[JBaker]

Honestly - and without wishing to offend JBaker - it does seem like being confined to a wheelchair would be a hard thing for some people to get past. It's such an obvious physical difference. I don't think it's the same as making a "value judgement" about somebody' date=' in the sense that you like or don't like them because of good or bad attributes, but a lot things go through my head when I meet someone who's disabled, like: what happened? Will they need my help? Will they get upset if I offer help, or if I ask about their condition? And of course the worst one - is there anything else wrong that I [i']can't see? I can't stop any of those thoughts from happening; the best I can do is ignore them and move on. Once I've started actually relating to a person it doesn't matter one bit what they look like, but the act of moving beyond those initial thoughts puts its own color on the beginning of a relationship.

I don't mind people having these thoughts initially. The main annoyance is that these thoughts manifest in really annoying ways. As you said, once you get talking to me you should figure out that I don't have any sort of learning disability. Unfortunately some people could be in my life for weeks, months, years, whatever, and still assume I'm not intelligent and cannot think for myself, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. Maybe I should clarify my comments: I dread being judged when I first meet someone, not because of what they might be thinking about me before I open my mouth, but I they going to be 'that' kind of person whose prejudices stop me from really making any progress with them. In honesty, people really shouldn't be afraid to ask people about their disability. Yes, there's a right way to do it ('so, what's wrong with you then- are you a spastic or just lazy?' maybe not being the best way to do it), but most people will answer any serious or sensible questions about their disability. Asking is the only way to gain knowledge, after all.

[Iceni]

BWAHAHAHA! Sorry' date=' I'm sorry... I remember thinking the same thing about people in their late 20s, mid 30s, mid 40s... If only it was true.[/quote'] You beat me to it. I've always got on better with people who tend to be about ten years older than me than people my own age. That's not supposed to be arrogance, it's just true. Older people deal better with awful conversationalists like me.

[Atrocity]

BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, I'm sorry... I remember thinking the same thing about people in their late 20s, mid 30s, mid 40s... If only it was true.

Well sorry but I am an optimistic person So it seems that people never grow up? Their are either open minded or assholes and they stay that way their whole life? That's sad.

[FatherAlabaster]

Well sorry but I am an optimistic person So it seems that people never grow up? Their are either open minded or assholes and they stay that way their whole life? That's sad.

Nope, that's not what I mean. I'm saying you can't automatically expect age alone to confer a certain level of maturity. Especially in your early 20s. I've seen plenty of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s do petty, juvenile stuff. And who's to say that you can't be open-minded and an asshole at the same time?

I've always got on better with people who tend to be about ten years older than me than people my own age.

Me, too, though in college I made a lot of friends closer to my own age, and I've started getting along with younger people more recently. Lots of younger musicians in the scene here are doing some cool stuff. I also recall that, once my younger brother got a bit older, we started relating a lot better. Gosh... he'll be 30 next year. C3PO suits Relentless. I like it.

[Iceni]

Me, too, though in college I made a lot of friends closer to my own age, and I've started getting along with younger people more recently. Lots of younger musicians in the scene here are doing some cool stuff. I also recall that, once my younger brother got a bit older, we started relating a lot better. Gosh... he'll be 30 next year. C3PO suits Relentless. I like it.

Well, he always said a nickname is something others give. I actually don't mind making friends with younger people too, it's just this + or - 2-year or so margin of error that frequently renders people irritating to me. Talking with teenagers in the 16.5-17.5 years old grouping is nice, they know just enough to be pretty sharp but they're too young to be overconfident, self-aggrandizing pricks. Even talking with little kids is a pleasant surprise, it's pleasure to find some ten-year-old who's as enthusiastically interested in cars and military hardware as I am. It's really heartening to come across mature children, it puts the arrogance and immaturity of my college peers in perspective.

[deathstorm]

Introducing white and sticky. How about we tie him to a post. Have. Fa-18 super hornet that is heaviest of metal. Firing. A sidwinder missle at him.

[SBird94]

Re: Bullet For My Valentine

Hey' date=' don't associate the gay community with that shit. That's not fair! [/quote'] Oh shit, my bad

[deathstorm]

Introducing. Him to heavy metal how about we commondare a army tank. And run his ass that's heaviest of metal right. There squashing him like a bug

[RelentlessOblivion]

Now if C-3PO had been Australian he may well have been the most entertaining character in Star Wars... I tend to struggle making those initial connections with people. That's why I tend to find making friends extremely difficult. This is an area I have improved in over time but still causes difficulties more often then I would like. So for me there's none of this "I get along better with people 10 years older then me". I get along better with people who can hold an intelligent conversation.

[SBird94]

Re: Bullet For My Valentine One of the heaviest heaviest bands ever!? Bahahahahahahahahaha :')

[deathstorm]

We take white and sticky. To the construction site. Sticks his feet. Into cement. Let it dry then drop the heaviest of metal we cut the drop the 10,000. Pounds of heavy steel. That is heaviest. Of metal dropping on his head like wile e coyete.

[Atrocity]

Talking with teenagers in the 16.5-17.5 years old grouping is nice, they know just enough to be pretty sharp but they're too young to be overconfident, self-aggrandizing pricks.

What kind of teenagers have you been talking to? Teenagers are usually know-it-all bastards who think nobody understands them and believe their opinion is the only right one.

[FatherAlabaster]

People in general are usually know-it-all bastards who think nobody understands them and believe their opinion is the only right one.

Here, fixed that for ya.

[Atrocity]

Here' date=' fixed that for ya.[/quote'] you do a lot of fixing, you know that? Anyways, now that I think about it, when I was a teenager I loved talking to older people (not much older, but a few years older) because I didn't feel like I 'belong' with people my age. I didn't share their interest and they tough I was weird because of my music taste. You know, the typical situation. I don't know, maybe we metal people are a bit different even as teenagers.

[FatherAlabaster]

you do a lot of fixing' date=' you know that? [/quote'] It's my calling in life...