I need help to my "anti-metal dad" problem

[deathstorm]

Remember the. Time when people thought chuck berry was the devil 70s it was kiss. Some people though blues music. Was also the devil.

[Oceraux]

About the "shared computer" thing: Yes, he does borrow it, like for less than a week, but he uses my own account, with my own files, all of my ownership and nothing of his (but he puts his mobile pictures and downloaded music of his). I don't have a guest account or another account for him. ---------------------------------------- My dad said he listened to Metallica, "Enter Sandman" to be specific.. He said he liked it, but soon, he discovered metal was satanic. Maybe it was in his time where the 90s Philippines is all about rap and local rock bands and nothing about metal because it had bad reputation. I think he really should go deeper on why he thinks metal is "satanic". I don't really understand it, also on how he described metal as said on my post. To be clear on me being angry on my dad - I think I'm not actually angry, just very annoyed on how he reacts on metal and all that stuff. Thanks for the replies anyways. (and for the welcoming back. Appreciate it)

[RelentlessOblivion]

I think that's important. If you can sit down with your dad and just talk about why he thinks about your music that way it could help you change his mind in the long run. Ultimately he is just concerned about you because of his prejudice towards metal music. If you can show him that those fears are groundless it could slowly change his opinion. I don't think you'll ever turn him into a metalhead but you could at least convince him to tolerate the music.

[TheBlackCat]

win your dad over by being even more edgy. start doing drugs and ask your dad if he wants to smoke a blunt

[deathstorm]

My dad did that on my I tunes. Account. Once. He paid me back for the songs he downloaded. Sometimes. Ask him to. Pay you back. The songs. My dad and I get along real well he ask me permission. I said sure I will pay u back.

[Oceraux]

So it has gone to this point. he wants me to delete my music from my cellphone. and well I delete it if that's what he wants, just don't catch my music in my pc (he borrowed it again). Because what I did with my music in my pc is make the mp3s hidden and just play it in an another music playe like itunes. I'm sure he would't see that.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Seems like things are getting worse for you. That's unfortunate.

[Oceraux]

And he restored my pc's memory to a certain date.. Means the music player and mp3s are gone. I decided that I still won't delete my music in my cellphone. Good thing I didn't delete it or else all my music will be completely gone. I just gotta time it right. And I will wait until I get my pc back. He's really making my pc his own. he didn't even ask for which date should he restore the computer, he might have deleted some files of mine. I am really annoyed. I can't really contain it.

[metal4ever]

parents can do these things sometimes. i dont blame them coz they r just looking out for u. thankfully my dad is a rock-lover himself, he used to listen to GNR with me playing on his lap during my childhood hahaha. so he never had a problem of me listening to rock/metal. but he has a problem with me watching porn haaha... so here's what i did. just burnt all my vids on cd and dvd and just watch when he's not around. u can do the same and mix the cd with other cds or keep it hidden somehwere(i keep it hidden in my clothes drawer since i wash my own clothes). anyways have a nice day keep rockin!metal4ever!

[RelentlessOblivion]

And he restored my pc's memory to a certain date.. Means the music player and mp3s are gone. I decided that I still won't delete my music in my cellphone. Good thing I didn't delete it or else all my music will be completely gone. I just gotta time it right. And I will wait until I get my pc back. He's really making my pc his own. he didn't even ask for which date should he restore the computer, he might have deleted some files of mine. I am really annoyed. I can't really contain it.

System restore shouldn't affect any of your files. If it has I don't know what the hell he's done. I've certainly never lost files as a result of restoring my system after a virus or some other glitch that causes me issues. Things are nowhere near that bad for me. My step-dad still refers to my music as 'suicidal shite' and often remarks "I see you've still got IWantToDie.FM on" when he walks into my room and I'm listening to music. Rather tame events in comparison to what others have to go through of course.

[Iceni]

My step-dad still refers to my music as 'suicidal shite' and often remarks "I see you've still got IWantToDie.FM on" when he walks into my room and I'm listening to music.

Annoying, but also at least a little funny. I imagine it'd get real old real fast though.

[RelentlessOblivion]

You have no idea

[Iceni]

You have no idea

I kinda do, my mom pesters me about it every now and then. Still, I have to admit it pales in comparison to the kind of crap it seems you have to go through from your own family.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Just my step-dad really, no one else gives a crap, the elder-younger brother (wrap your head around that) did suggest once that my interest in heavy music stems from an Amino Acid deficiency but he likes to think everything in life happens because of some biological or psychological anomaly.

[Iceni]

he likes to think everything in life happens because of some biological or psychological anomaly.

That doesn't strike me as a weird viewpoint, sounds like atheism in a nutshell.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Fair point

[Sinful Tranquility]

Play him one of your softer metal songs and tell him that's what you listen to, if he clearly doesn't like it then just keep on playing your music around him and hopefully he will get used to metal. Hope I have been a help!

[~Mere~]

First off you need to chill out and stay calm. Don't give him anymore ammo to justify his reasoning. I agree with what was said earlier, you should find a way to back up what you have on disc or flash drive. I understand completely the feeling of being the target of a judgmental, condescending scrutiny eye. Both my parents wrote me off due to what I stood for which was totally against their beliefs. So unfortunately I have no relationship with them, I'm sure that is not the result you are seeking. The point I'm trying to make is, I've learned that you're going to run into people in this life whether its family, friends or whomever that will be quick to judge you on things they don't completely understand. If you think about it, youre not getting any results or maybe feel things are only getting worse because youre both meeting eachother with resistance expecting the other to change and that is why there is much friction and tension. You really need to learn how to communicate (not react) with him. And parents need to learn to have more patience when dealing with their children and also learn to discern when they should intervene. If we, speaking as a parent, make all the decisions for our children and never let them learn from mistakes it wont build up any sense of independence which I think is setting them up for failure. I believe your father, as mine, is bull headed and may have the attitude of do as I say, which cause's the constant butting of heads. If in the end nothing works then you will just have to let it go and let him do what he's gonna do. I know it will be difficult to not build resentment towards him but don't let it ever discourage you from losing sight of the fact that he does love and care about you. Sometimes parents just have a funny way of showing it.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Well said indeed. You could also try asking a friend to look after any cds you have and listen to them over at their place.

[Oceraux]

I still love my father, yes, of course. Just that little thing that he does. He's gone for 2-3 days right now, I've got hold of my computer and hid my mp3s very strictly, like, the folder of the mp3s is named "Files" and is marked hidden, that wouldn't be so suspicious.. And the music player's title is Foobar2000.. doesn't really sound like a music player. I think that's enough instead of backing it up into a CD. (because I don't have an empty CD and my dad wouldn't give me) Aaannd FINALLY I am doing what I should be doing right now. Listening again to metal <3 Mostly Megadeth, I've missed them. Thanks for all the responses, especially ~Mere~'s one.

[RelentlessOblivion]

I'm still trying to work out how just running a system restore could have erased your files to begin with.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Another thing I'm pondering is if he's deleted your music in the past it also stands to reason he'd be checking your internet history as well.

[Mz Hyde]

Personally, I would tell him that metal music is actually a very theraputic way of releasing pent up anger - well music of any type, really. No matter the genre you favour, music has the same calming effect and brings good feelings when listening to it. It might also be beneficial to point out several bands that even have Christian roots to show that metal music is not about demonic worship or acting out in anger But that is just my two cents.

[btbam91]

I would say start listening to christian metal that doesnt bother you too much and show him the lyrics to them. Tell him you're listening to music about god and just because something is heavy doesnt mean it is bad. If your dad is an athiest, then i dont know what to tell you then.. lol

[Wilmer]

xxx xxxx xxxxxxxx