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A short poem about my sweaty cock

RaiCoss

By RaiCoss
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Midi Newbie

Midi

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I like the direction they're taking. I want to see basses made like claymores' date=' measured from foot to nose. Hell, I'd like to see a bass with a nine-foot neck and three sets of machine heads, because why not.[/quote'] An octobass would be the closest thing I know.
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GorboGorboze Newbie

GorboGorboze

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OK here is a classic limerick, just to prove that I can follow form. In the court of the prince of Baghdad Lived a cock that would sweat and smell bad He would crow through the night Then from dawn to twilight In the court of the prince of Baghdad So there it is, not much use really... there is a price to be paid when you adhere strictly to the form. It may be that with this one, I've gotten the limerick thing out of my system, but if I can come up with something that is more disgusting and still follows the rules, I guess that I would be glad about that. Dave I wicked appreciate your support through all this, and Alabaster as well, and I thank the rest of you for your indulgence.

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GorboGorboze Newbie

GorboGorboze

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If your last line there was something like "though there were no hens to be had"' date=' it would have a better sense of resolution. The repetition of the first like makes it feel like the beginning of an epic saga. I suppose that if anyone here is capable of making an epic saga out of this theme, it would be you... :D[/quote'] Well, since you bring it up, the pure form as it appeares in many mother goose rhymes, the first line is nonsence, and the last line repeats, as with hickery Dickery Dock for example, the geografic place name in the first line is a later manifestation, "As there was /Not one hen /To be had" would have the correct meter, and the 11221 rhyming scheme that we are looking for, and it would explain the pathos being displayed by the rooster, so I think it would be good to go with that.
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Iceni Newbie

Iceni

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It's all about being able to hit the right stress patterns while remaining a bit colloquial IMO. Though I suppose a rigid adherence to the hard-and-fast rules of the form would lend your poem a certain solidity.
A firm methodology is key to enhancing the thrust of the verse with regards to penis penis penis
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GorboGorboze Newbie

GorboGorboze

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Tradition has it's place, but I definitely get what your saying about being colloquial. I think that is where I've been falling short with these limericks. They are meant to make a person cringe with revolution at their baseness, so rules of meter be damned, here is the money shot... I've a cock with a hole in his forehead He sweats and his manners are horrid His neck stretches long When he blurts out his song Then he pukes through that hole in his forehead

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Iceni Newbie

Iceni

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His poems must be read through the prism Of his insatiable priapism, Which neatly explains Those familiar stains: His manuscript's covered in... In... Man, I'm really having trouble finding a rhyme here. :D
'Syllogism'?
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GorboGorboze Newbie

GorboGorboze

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No love for Haiku in this poetry thread then?
Well, I don't want to criticize, but I like the kind of Haiku where you rinse your dick off in a cold mountain stream without soap or any other pretense, but I guess I may be too much of a purist. Also I couldn't tell what season it was supposed to be, mid-summer I guess... since that is when ones dick might get sweaty?
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