GoatmasterGeneral

ZEKE at the Fireside Bowl Sept. 22nd 2001 Chicago

I had to go find that Top 100 Metal Masterworks thread to remember the kid's name (he changed it a few times in his brief tenure here) and then I had to look up that pm to remember her name as well. I knew Luxi's name (even though I forget what he changed it to when we came here) because he was on the old forum with me and Doc and Marky Mark, and he's one of my stalkers, or he was until recently anyway.

You're onto me my friend. I'm also Luxi the kiwi carnivore, and that Christian kid Rexorcist who came by last year and made a thread to post his top 100 pussy-ass symphonic and prog "materworks" of all time "movieforums style" whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. I was also that Eastern European gypsy girl Daiena who put a death curse on my head via PM the day she got banned. I've a few more sock puppet accounts as well but I don't want to give all my secrets away at this time so mum's the word mate. But you admit that I do have some supremely good motherfucking taste though, eh Doc? Just came in from mowing the front half of the lawn for the last two hours, but I had to come back inside to post my next installment of my top 200 Super Ultra Supreme Metal Masterworks just for you Doc. Someone say Finland? GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 47. Sielunvihollinen - Hautaruhtinas, Finland 48. Kêres - Ice, Vapor & Crooked Arrows, Finland Why would you even click on that dude? What is it, shoegaze post-metal or something?

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 50. Tragedy - Vengeance, crust from Portland Oregon 49. Massgrave - 5 Years of Grinding Crust Core, Vancouver BC (464)

Not a full house, but you drew 5 of a kind which beats a full house every time! For whatever reason I've never spent much time with Bethlehem or bought any of their albums. Might have been a vocals issue, but I can't even quite remember what they sound like to be honest. GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 52. Chapel of Disease - Summoning Black Gods, Cologne Germany. According to M-A apparently they're 'on hold' for now, but it doesn't matter I guess because they changed styles dramatically after this 2012 monster of a debut album. This could be my favorite old school sounding death metal album by a young band in the 2010's. I still like the other two records with their retro 70's/80's sounding solos but not nearly as much as this one. 51. Undergang - Misantropologi, Denmark (455) It was either gonna be this or the debut. I found this video first.

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 54. Black Mass Pervertor - Phanerosis, Finland. Have a bunch of their albums but this debut is the only one I truly love. 53. Armagedda - Ond Spiritism: Djaefvvlens Skalder Anno Serpenti MMIV, Sweden (453) You snatched my Only True Believers so this is my 2nd choice.

Horna is my #7 band haha. But that's mostly because they have so many god damned albums out. I've never had the pleasure of seeing them live. A lot of these European bm bands don't manage to get over here to the states much. But that's OK I guess because I think the corpsepaint and all that nonsense is pretty stupid and I don't need to meet all these dudes in person and give them handies, listening to the records is enough for me. And I hate when I see all these Finnish dudes in interviews on the Rauta Youtube channel and they turn out to be big dorks, like the dudes from Azazel and Azaghal. I still love their music, but I prefer to imagine them as badass metal motherfuckers and not chubby little nerds. The Archgoat interview with Ritual Butcherer was the best one though when they were tasting the craft beers. He's not a dweeb at least. The Blood Chalice episode was good too when they were in town for a show and stopped by Rauta's place to do some power lifting. They're meatheads, but it was hilarious. Great band too, although they don't have enough albums yet to make my list. In an unforseen plot twist you've just posted 5 bands I don't care about or ever really listen to. None of them will be appearing on my list. In fact I think the only one of those 5 albums I can say for sure that I've ever heard is Symphonies of Sickness. I do own something from each of them, just not those 5 particular albums. (except Symphonies, but I almost never listen to Carcass) GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 56. Solitude Aeturnus - Through the Darkest Hour, Dallas TX. Most of this band's scrobbles are for this album, I don't like any of their other albums nearly as much as this one. I could listen to this one anytime. 55. Dorthia Cottrell - S/T (450) I listened to this album on repeat all day long every single day for about 6 months after my wife died in 2017. Didn't listen to much metal at all during that time aside from a little doom metal in the evenings sometimes. But a lot of the plays for this album were through my phone and bluetooth speaker in the kitchen as I paced a circular route through the kitchen-dining room-living room and so they didn't get scrobbled, otherwise this one would have another couple thousand scrobbles on top of the 450 and probably 100 miles walked as well.

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 58. Antichrist Siege Machine - Purifying Blade, Richmond VA, not sure how these guys got so high on the list. 57. Embrace of Thorns - Darkness Impenetrable, Greece (448)

Ole hyvä! Love Unchain the Wolves, just listened to it the other night before we even started this squoggle shit. I have the white wolf album cover shirt. I enjoy all their albums up through Defiance which of course is my favorite. Everyone shits on that one, and I have no idea why. I've always assumed it was the production, but they've never been known for stellar production on any of their other albums so maybe that's not it. So I don't know, but in any event they do, and I'm used to it by now. Shit you've been busy while I was sleeping, you're up to #47 already. I'd better get my ass in gear. You've posted another album I don't have, Mörk Gryning, so I guess I should check them out. Dissection with frooty keys, eh? GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 60. Blut aus Nord - Hallucinogen, France 59. Varulv - Wolfszorn, Austria (440) Kiitos vielä kerran Mr Turku! Yes you know Whore is my favorite, although now that I've gotten used to the cleaner production I really fucking like all of the last three as well and I play them all a lot which is why they're my #5 band on this list. Was fortunate to see them play live when I lived in Denver and they're unquestionably my favorite Finnish band. I would go see them every weekend if I could. You also left me my favorite Bolt Thrower, For Victory, so kiitos for that as well.

Takezo - Waste of Consciousness, sludge/doom metal from where else, Kuopio Finland.

Here's your album cover:

You're just jealous because you don't have a Scrobbler. And if you did then we'd know you're not a metalhead you're a xylophone player. Good idea to keep the striker tethered to the instrument like that, you wouldn't want to lose it and have to use your wife's kitchen utensils like her good wooden spoon or something. Or maybe it was the saxophone you said you played, can't remember but I'm pretty sure it was one of those "phone" instruments.

Never heard of an erhu before. GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM Only 60 more to go, maybe 3 days, you can deal with it it Doc. And seriously we're just posting metal albums like we all do every day here. What's the difference if they're scrobble inspired selections or just random albums? 62. Craft - Terror Propaganda, Sweden. I was a late comer to this band, something about them just didn't sit right with me for a long time. Then few years ago something clcked and everything fell into place, now I really dig them. 61. Ordinance - In Purge There is No Remission, Finland (430) Can't think of too many better black metal albums than this over the last few years. I really loved their first album, but this 2nd one exceeded all expectations. A bona fide riff extravaganza.

A dude I used to post with years ago who was largely unfamiliar with funeraal doom went to an Evoken show in Connecticut one time, or maybe he drove up to Boston I'm not sure. But he said during the breaks between all the songs he yelled out "Play faster!!" which got a good laugh from all in attendance. The band probably didn't appreciate it too much though.

I saw that Agriculture somewhere in my travels earlier today and I thought to myself "I'm not clicking on a band called fucking Agriculture." Now you're telling me they're not even black metal without coming right out and telling me? Looks like my intuition paid off. But what pray tell is a "weedy" clean voice? Thought that Outer Heaven was sweet as though, what'd you think? And fuck your Tree of Life. You rag on my Lynyrd Skynyrd, perfectly delightful 3-guitar southern blues rock and then the very next day you turn around and post this pre-schooler xylophone nonsense?? Should be ashamed of yourself. Is this roughly what your new Bandcamp music is gonna sound like? Suffer in yer squoggles. Pure adrenaline punk rock. 18 songs in 21 minutes. Gotta love Zeke.

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM Mr Turku has caught up and even passed me now. I missed my chance to pull ahead while he was sleeping, now he's up again raring to go and posting 5 at a time. Now it's really gonna be a race to the bottom. I should probably let him win, that would be the courteous thing to do, this was all his idea and he is the new guy here. I've never been on a forum with anyone before who had such similar taste in music to my own. I own almost every album he's posted. This never happens, I must be dreaming. 64. Deströyer 666 - Defiance 63. Desaster - Hellfire´s Dominion, Germany (428) Can't tolerate any PJ, but #10 Mookie Blaylock!! Every time I scroll past this Senile Showdown I bust out laughing. More album covers like this please.

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 66. Förgjord - Laulu Kuolemasta, Finland 65. Behexen - From the Devil's Chalice, Finland (411)

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 68. The Cramps - Big Beat From Badsville, California 67. Zeke - Kicked in the Teeth, Seattle (407)

Nah, didn't hurt too bad. They don't have any bad albums so I have more than enough worthy contenders to pick from when the time comes. I've been fortunate to have been able to see them live 4 times, each one more awesome than the last. You posted one I don't know, Krohm, so I looked them up and wouldn't you know it turns out they're from right here in my own backyard in Connecticut! Mr. Turku lives in the black metal capitol of the world and he's searching for bands from Connecticut. Gotta love it. GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 70. Stillborn - Testimonio de Bautismo, Poland 69. P.L.F. - Jackhammering Deathblow of Nightmarish Trepidation, Houston TX (406)

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 72. The Exploited - Beat the Bastards 71. GBH - Midnight Madness and Beyond 392

Teke - Beginning of the End, Istanbul Türkiye, I've been completely smitten with this album for the last 24 hours. Must have played it at least 6 times. This is not one of your typical 4 chord specials, they put some thought into this, managed to keep it interesting throughout. But yet it's still goat worthy. Well worth the time if you have 36 minutes to spare. Ah shit, the young Cum Blaster has claimed Nefarious Dismal Orations for himself, one of my top two black metal albums of all time. In the immortal words of Impaled Nazarene: Do you want fucking war? Yes we want fucking war! No I'm just kidding, it's cool I'll pick another one. I have plenty of time to think this over, Inquisition is my #2. My favorite band, but #2 in scrobbles.

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 74. Unanimated - In the Light of Darkness, Sweden (379) 73. Sarke - Gastwerso, Norway (390)

You don't come off as combative at all, and I hope I didn't come off that way either. I can get overly passionate in the moment about silly trivial things and I do enjoy my hyperbole, but really I'm just glad to have anyone willing to talk about this shit with me. I'll be honest, it's late, 7:30, the birds are chirping and I've been up all night and when I typed that post I thought I was replying to Blivvington, I didn't even realize it was actually Le Cabbage until you replied to my reply. I don't get out much around the 'net. I don't go on any of the mainstream metal blog sites because they only talk about the more mainstream metal which I don't have any interest in. The only metal related site I go on is this one. So if there are legions of zealous Maiden fanbois prowling the interwebs looking for a fight this comes as news to me because I haven't seen that here on the forum. I think of Maiden and Satan and their ilk as an anachronism, a relic from another time. All that traditional heavy metal from the early 80's and all the time we spent bar hopping to catch all the local cover bands, and all the trips into the city to see the big-time heavy metal bands play seems like it all happened in another past lifetime to me now. It was so long ago, and in the scheme of things it was such a brief moment in time. I discovered heavy metal bands like Priest and Maiden and Saxon right after high school, around '79 - '80 - '81. I was into that scene for a few years, and then I just kind of left it all behind in '84 - '85 when speed metal and thrash came into my life. And all this took place before you were even born. By contrast I've been heavily into black and death metal for 20 years now, or 19 I guess to be precise. This is the music I connect with, that other stuff like the trad metal and the 70's rock before that was just what I used to pass the time until something better came along. Which isn't to say that I never really liked any of it to begin with because I did, I liked it at the time. But I don't know if I would have liked it so much if I'd have had the options of listening to some of these other newer metal sub-genres like you Millennials had the luxury of being able to pick and choose from in your youth. Even the Gen-X'ers just a few years younger than me had heavy metal and thrash when they were still in high school, all we had was Sabbath, Zeppelin and AC/DC and a bunch of hippie bands like The Who and The Dead. Actually most of the kids in my school were doing the disco fever thing anyway in the late 70's.

GG top 200 most played bands countdown according to lastFM 76. Barathrum - Legions of Perkele, Finland 75 Ifernach - The Green Enchanted Forest of the Druid Wizard, Canada (383 )

I'm not just after metal's sacred cows for the sake of it. Is it really so unthinkable that there are people who just don't go for polished and professional sounding mainstream music? I like my metal filthy, raw, ugly and rough around the edges. Satan embodies none of those qualities, in fact they're pretty much the polar opposite. To say that Satan is "hitting at 100% strength and momentum" would be like telling an 11 year old kid who plays sports on his school team "You're doing great out there buddy!" Knowing full well that if he were playing against the big boys he'd be getting stomped into dust and they'd have to take him off the field on a stretcher. But in this case we're taking about nwobhm/trad metal specifically, and my main problem wth it is that I have no use for bands that have chosen to employ high-pitched vocals. That's the main reason I don't like power metal and almost all of that old nwobhm and trad metal crap. Your boys Satan and Maiden sound like power metal to me, but of course we didn't have the term power metal back then. I can't go too in depth about Maiden's music because I haven't heard a single one of their albums that came after 1984's Powerslave. I know they call Bruce the air raid siren, but I always took that to be a slag-off, not a compliment. I do have Court in the Act playing right now to refresh my memory, but I will not be able to tolerate this shit for much longer. High vocals and lots of tweedly deedly guitar noodling ugh. I get why someone else might like this stuff, and I certainly don't think less of anyone who happens to enjoy trad metal or power metal or whatever. To each his own. But it's absolute garbage to me with those girly cringe-worthy vocals, completely unsalvageable, no redeeming value whatsoever. If you actually find this kind of music hard-hitting and powerful then you go for it my man, knock yourself out. I guess I just don't fall into the category of "anybody who likes nowbhm at all." Even though there were a few bands from that scene like Tank and Savage and Burn that didn't have the extreme high-pitched vocals so they're alright and I'll still play them from time to time. It's true I did buy and enjoy some trad metal albums back in the day because that's all we had in the way of metal back then 40 years ago. We didn't have all these sub-genre choices in 1983 like you kids have now. In '83 our listening choices were: disco and the pop music of the day, classic radio rock of the 60's & 70's, punk rock, classical music, jazz, country, folk music, new wave, nwobhm, trad metal or go fuck yourself and quit listening to music. So I went with the punk rock and the 80's metal. I have even managed to form a nostalgic attachment to a very small select handful of bands and albums from that era, but very little of it's anything I would even consider buying if these were new bands just starting their careers today. Thrash finally came along and saved my ass from high-pitched hell, and by '84 - '85 I had kicked Priest and Maiden and 99% of the rest of those trad metal bands to the curb. Threw them out like they were some old worn out clothes that didn't fit me anymore. Because thrash metal just gave me so much more of what I did like, and so much less of what I didn't like about heavy metal. And then 20 years later in the early 2000's when I finally got around to discovering extreme metal in my 40's, within a year or two that had in turn made 90% of my thrash collection redundant. Because black and death metal just gives me so much more of what I do like, and so much less of what I don't like about thrash metal. Burn - Burn, trad metal 1983 Sweden. This one's cool because there are no high-piched girly vox or ear piercing screams. Remember it's not 1,000 listens to the album, each track counts as 1 scrobble. So the thing rewards bands and genres that tend to make albums with a lot of tracks on them. Play an album with 10 tracks 100 times and that's your 1,000 scrobbles. You only have to play an album with 14 tracks 72 times to get 1,000 scrobbles. But you'd have to play an album with 8 tracks 125 times to get to 1,000.