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What's up boys and girls. Long time no see. Sorry about that. It's been a bit crazy at Casa de Navy for the last few months. I'm not finding a lot of time to jump on line and fuck off. Too many "new" responsibilities caring for others, maintaining the casa, work...etc. Seeing as it is the day before the holiday here and I'm a government worker soaking up a paycheck doing jack shit...might as well let you guys know I'm still alive. It hasn't been all miserable here, I have caught a few shows recently. Made it to Mass Destruction in Atlanta on my birthday. The lineup was mediocre, but I did catch Akhlys, Nuclear Assault, and a few others that were fun. Exciter killed it. I had seen them before and was less than impressed, but they were on point at that show. Caught Napalm Death and Eyehategod which was a decent show. Also Mastodon and Opeth who were doing a fan's request tour (which means they played a decent amount of old stuff). All the shows are slowing down at this point of the year, so a little break before the shows start cranking again for me around March.

So I'm still kicking. I'll try to stop by more often if the dark lord allows. To all of you, have a Happy Turkey Day if you are in a country that celebrates it. If not, I hope you are doing well and enjoy the season! I'll be smoking a turkey and drinking copious amounts of bourbon tomorrow, so cheers to you all.

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30 minutes ago, NokturnalBoredom said:

Dude, don't even think about that shit for any reason. As someone who bought a 9mm carbine and began sticking it in his mouth two years ago "just to see how it felt" as my relationship with someone I wanted to have kids & a life with was falling apart rapidly, please go talk to someone right away. The fucked thing about suicide is that these kinds of thoughts are how it starts and it may seem like a beneficial thing for the family, or a way out, but you have to think about the damage that you'd do to the people who survive you and are going to be asking why you did it, even when your financial situation seems insurmountable & horrible. I promise you that even if you think that you have a good reason, people are going to miss you much more than they're going to be thankful for a life insurance payment.
 

Totally agree with this. I've lost a few friends to suicide. In some ways it's worse than other losses, because you have to get your head around the totality of it - not just their absence, but accepting that they're the person who caused it. Losing a parent that way can have a profoundly negative impact in a child. It leaves a huge hole in life for everyone around. Sorry to hear about your own brushes with this, too. 

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Gents you're absolutely right.

 

I think desperation has begun to sink in.  After yet another argument, my wife has decided she will simply have to withdraw additional money as she said she literally doesn't know how where she can save because she is already "scrimping and saving" where she can and it's too hard to track what she's spent on  eg going down to the capital city and staying overnight in a hotel to go clothes shopping.   

She is literally burning hundreds of dollars on who knows what - coffees, wine, clothes, overloading kid with expensive toys and electronic stuff and I have no idea what fucking else.    Very often there's not even a physical good - the money's just frittered away.

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@ Deadovic 

I'd like to hope you were just having a bad day and the suicide thing was a bit of hyperbole for dramatic effect. Believe me I know how some women can drive you nuts with their inexorable need to spend money that you don't have simply because they want things and they just don't feel it's fair that they should ever be denied anything that they want.

I remember my late wife asking me one time how much money was left at the end of the month so she'd know how much she had available to play with. I showed her that there wasn't anything left over to play with and in fact we were dipping into my savings each month because there was a $300 shortfall. I told her I was waiting for her to finish breast feeding the baby so she could go back to work in the states like she did when she lived in NZ, just as we had discussed before she moved here and got pregnant. None of that mattered to her, it all went in one ear and out the other. She didn't make any effort to change her ridiculous & frivolous spending habits and neither did she make any effort to look for work. Shoppintg on her tablet and watching Netflix was like her full time job, the baby was just her excuse to stay home and do it. I also remember the night I changed the Paypal password without telling her and how mad she got the next day when she went to buy something online and couldn't. But it had to be done. And 3 days later when she started talking to me again she admitted that I had done the right thing.

Unfortunately that strategy backfired on me because then she had to make her own Paypal account and she started selling some of the stuff that she had bought to raise money to buy more stuff. It wasn't the stuff itself that she really wanted it was simply the act of locating and acquiring and accumulating that stuff that she was addicted to. The bitch just wanted to buy shit. She ordered a couple hundred plastic mailing envelopes so whenever she sold some of her crap she'd get it all packed up and addressed and ready for shipping and then she'd leave little bundles of joy on the kitchen table for me to take to work with me in the morning so I could mail it off for her when I passed by a post office somewhere in my travels during my day. Guess who paid the shipping costs? Whenever she sold something the payment would go directly into her Paypal account and then she'd use that money to buy more stuff. I was the idiot who got stuck paying to ship it all over the country.

But I guess paying her shipping was still a lot cheaper than the phase when she bought like $10,000 worth of cloth diapers (@$50 a pop shipped) and baby clothes. Even as the boy approached 3 and we knew he was going to be potty trained soon she just kept buying, selling & trading the stupid diapers with the beautifl prints that only we ever got to see when we changed him because he had pants covering them up the rest of the time. I still have a bunch of them in a box somewhere because they seem too valuable to just throw away, even though I know I'm never in a million years going to go on that Twinkie Tush website and list them for sale. Same with all her piles of $300-$400 Frye boots she just had to have and then wore once or twice at most. Can't bring myself to just throw away $400 boots even though I'll never figure out how to sell them. I wish I knew a chick who wore size 8.5/9 boots. (NZ 39)

It's a sickness and an addiction that destroys lives like alcoholism or drugs or gambling that should be dealt with the same way. They need to have interventions and rehab for shopaholics.

Gonna catch flak for this no doubt....but fuck it I'm gonna say it anyway. Deadovic if I were you I would be looking into the pros and cons of divorce, not suicide. True if you divorce her you'll still have to pay her and she'll still be spending your money but at least you should know up front how much it will be every month so you can budget and plan. No woman, or let's say no partner is ever worth killing yourself over.

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11 hours ago, navybsn said:

What's up boys and girls. Long time no see. Sorry about that. It's been a bit crazy at Casa de Navy for the last few months. I'm not finding a lot of time to jump on line and fuck off. Too many "new" responsibilities caring for others, maintaining the casa, work...etc. Seeing as it is the day before the holiday here and I'm a government worker soaking up a paycheck doing jack shit...might as well let you guys know I'm still alive. It hasn't been all miserable here, I have caught a few shows recently. Made it to Mass Destruction in Atlanta on my birthday. The lineup was mediocre, but I did catch Akhlys, Nuclear Assault, and a few others that were fun. Exciter killed it. I had seen them before and was less than impressed, but they were on point at that show. Caught Napalm Death and Eyehategod which was a decent show. Also Mastodon and Opeth who were doing a fan's request tour (which means they played a decent amount of old stuff). All the shows are slowing down at this point of the year, so a little break before the shows start cranking again for me around March.

So I'm still kicking. I'll try to stop by more often if the dark lord allows. To all of you, have a Happy Turkey Day if you are in a country that celebrates it. If not, I hope you are doing well and enjoy the season! I'll be smoking a turkey and drinking copious amounts of bourbon tomorrow, so cheers to you all.

Cheers, Navy, and Happy Thanksgiving. I was just thinking about you and hoping you were well. 

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Goatmaster, wow that makes mine look thrifty.

 

I think the mortifying thought in my head is that I will have spent decades in a (well paid) job I don't like and not doing things I like to end up destitute and homeless (and rentals are extremely scarce - Hobart is now the least affordable place for rentals and people with full time jobs are living out of their cars due to lack of properties).

I have sacrificed so much for my family and will continue to do so.  I don't get to have dreams or whimsies.

But I was OK with that as I thought I'd at least own my house by the time I retired and would then have some money to do things I wanted.  

 

 

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5 hours ago, GoatmasterGeneral said:

No woman, or let's say no partner is ever worth killing yourself over.

@Deadovic

Since this has escalated I think that Shhhhhhhhhhhh (that's Whitenoise) has stated what we are all thinking. Divorce over suicide. The threat of divorce might even be enough to shake some sense into her. 

The worst I get is an argument at the weekend because my wife bought some cheap Christmas tat made in China. Lights with a switch so flimsy it broke in 4 seconds. When its returned it will be refunded no questions asked and then go to landfill. But, compared to the harpies you guys married my wife's a goddamn martyr.

 

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7 hours ago, Dead1 said:

Goatmaster, wow that makes mine look thrifty.

 

I think the mortifying thought in my head is that I will have spent decades in a (well paid) job I don't like and not doing things I like to end up destitute and homeless (and rentals are extremely scarce - Hobart is now the least affordable place for rentals and people with full time jobs are living out of their cars due to lack of properties).

I have sacrificed so much for my family and will continue to do so.  I don't get to have dreams or whimsies.

But I was OK with that as I thought I'd at least own my house by the time I retired and would then have some money to do things I wanted. 

Well, question is, are you both on the house contract? Or just one of you? I don't know how the law works in Tasmania/Aus, but maybe it's a good idea to look into a consulting with a lawyer on your own, to make sure your bases are covered. Because there's always the possibility your partner will try to fleece you of everything they can, just out of spite. And as Goatboy just said, no partner is ever worth killing yourself over. And I can 100% guarantee that will leave a hole in your daughters heart that will never be healed or filled. Just like you have past trauma that will never be fixed, don't put your family and friends in the same situation.

For as long as I've known you you have complained about your marriage, and been more or less unhappy with your life. You're not even 50, there's a good chance you'll live another 30-35 years. Do you really wanna spend those years, mearly existing? For fucks sake, it took Goatboy into his 40's before he realized black metal existed!

13 hours ago, Dead1 said:

After yet another argument, my wife has decided she will simply have to withdraw additional money as she said she literally doesn't know how where she can save

I honestly don't know what this means. Do you mean she's emptied out a savings account preemptively??

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20 hours ago, JonoBlade said:

@Deadovic

Since this has escalated I think that Shhhhhhhhhhhh (that's Whitenoise) has stated what we are all thinking. Divorce over suicide. The threat of divorce might even be enough to shake some sense into her. 

The worst I get is an argument at the weekend because my wife bought some cheap Christmas tat made in China. Lights with a switch so flimsy it broke in 4 seconds. When its returned it will be refunded no questions asked and then go to landfill. But, compared to the harpies you guys married my wife's a goddamn martyr.

 

The Harpies were mythical monsters in Greek mythology that had the form of a bird with a human female face; often agents of punishment they abducted people and tortured them on their way to Hades' domain, employed by the God as instruments for the punishment of the guilty. They stole food from their victims and would carry evildoers to Erinnyes of the Furies (female goddesses of vengeance and retribution). Their name means snatchers and is thus very appropriate for the acts they carried out. Known as the hounds of Zeus they were dispatched by the God to snatch away people and things from the earth; sudden and mysterious disappearances were often attributed to them.

 

The Harpies, like many characters in Greek mythology, evolved over time and different tales, beginning as wind spirits then personified as winged woman and eventually into the monstrous creatures we most recognise today.

Other Interesting Facts:

• Harpies remained vivid mythical beasts throughout the Middle Ages, in Dante’s Inferno Harpies infest a tortured wood in the seventh ring of Hell where the suicides have their punishment
• Roman and Byzantine writers detailed their ugliness and monstrous qualities.
• In the Aeneid, Aeneas encountered the Harpies on the Strophades as they made off with the feast the Trojans were setting, Celaeno cursed them, and the Trojans fled in fear of the mythical beasts
• In ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ by Shakespeare, the term Harpy is used metaphorically to refer to a nasty or annoying woman, and though not often used in modern vernacular it is understood that this is what the term currently describes.

 

   https://greekgodsandgoddesses.net/myths/harpies/

 

You know Jon-O I think succubus would be a more accurate term:

A succubus is a demon or supernatural entity in folklore, in female form, that appears in dreams to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. According to religious traditions, repeated sexual activity with a succubus can cause poor physical or mental health, even death.

I would only add: or even bankruptcy

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As far as divorce is concerned I wouldn't advise going into it lightly. 50% of western marriages end in divorce. More often than not, about 75% of divorces are initiated by women because the laws and courts are drastically weighted in their favor. Women generally get custody of the kids, the house, at least half of the savings/assets and the men will have to pay them at the very least until the kids finish college and in some cases in addition to child support they are awarded spousal support for life. Even if the wife is the one who cheated or otherwise broke the marriage contract and is totally at fault it doesn't matter in the slightest, they still win. In America it's commonplace that there are women who look for men with resources to marry so they can put in their time and then "fall out of love" divorce their husbands and get paid. Because it beats working for the next 20 - 30 years. They can say they love you one day and then turn around and burn all your shit in a big bonfire in the front yard the next. I've read countless stories of supposedly happily married couples (at least the men thought so) that when the husband fell seriously ill or lost his job and the resources dried up, within weeks their wives were gone with the wind. Plenty of guys living in squalor or living in their vehicles because their wives cleaned up in a lopsided divorce settlement and are taking half their paychecks leaving them unable to make ends meet. Also plenty of guys sitting in jail because they fell behnd on their child support payments. Now I ask you, how are they supposed to make enough money to ever catch up if they're sitting in jail? If you're a man with kids and a decent job and any marital assets at all it really behooves you to try and make things work. Because the alternative is ugly. 

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On 11/26/2021 at 6:39 AM, GoatmasterGeneral said:

As far as divorce is concerned I wouldn't advise going into it lightly. 50% of western marriages end in divorce. More often than not, about 75% of divorces are initiated by women because the laws and courts are drastically weighted in their favor. Women generally get custody of the kids, the house, at least half of the savings/assets and the men will have to pay them at the very least until the kids finish college and in some cases in addition to child support they are awarded spousal support for life.

Isn't that an uniquely American concept? I don't think I've ever heard of spousal support here in Sweden, outside of american movies. Sure, child custody is a different thing, but I think that has more to do with the individual judge.

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Not sure about uniquely American but it's not entirely right here in Oz. Payouts vary, cases vary, splits vary, it's one of the reasons most break ups here have to go through mediation before they get the separation finalised. It's widely assumed here that the female usually gets the child and judges side with the mother as the more likely candidate to raise any children, that then leads to the father paying child support to the mother. But while that might happen the majority of times that's not the rule. Ex partners also don't get paid for life unless there is extenuating circumstances. They can claim a percentage of the money earned during the relationship, which includes shares and even retirement funds, but they can't make any claim on future earnings under normal conditions and it applies to both sides so it's often better to just cut losses and walk away. I don't know if it's the same in other countries but in Oz this also applies mostly to de-facto relationships which they define as 6 months or more of co-habitation.

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Here in Australia I don't think the maintenance provisions are well enforced.

I know plenty of dudes who abandoned their kids and they've managed to skirt around paying any maintenance - literally moving states or even towns seems to be enough to somehow get out of dodge.

I also know other guys who were denied access to their kids despite wanting to be an active father and then forced to pay massive maintenance because the ex-wife/girlfriend was the only carer!

I only know of one case where the father actually got custody - the mother didn't turn up to court cause she was on a speed bender (he was a drug addict too and a violent one and their kids were often hungry)!

 

Problem with maintenance/custody is the laws governing it put a lot of emphasis people working it out themselves and if there are disputes it has to go to court and court is hard, stressful and outcomes aren't guaranteed or predictable.  Family law courts are also overburdened, under resourced so you often have to wait a long time.    

 

System is regarded as broken and the glorious neoliberal fundamentalist Christian scum that we apparently elected to parliament legislated to abolish Family Law Court this year and merge it with another court (thus making it even more problematic)!

 

 

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Seems to be the playbook for conservatives everywhere. Delay, reduce, and make more difficult everything and anything that doesn't fit their worldview. In a time where they are rapidly becoming the minority (if they are not already) and their belief system is contrary to popularly held opinion (see abortion, same-sex marriage, healthcare, etc) in the west, I find it unbelievable the amount of power conservative movements still hold. I would like to believe that there will be a massive shift in the next decade or so, but then again I'm surprised that they are still relevant at this point. Apathy on the part of younger voters (45 and under) is to blame in part although not the only factor.

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7 minutes ago, navybsn said:

Seems to be the playbook for conservatives everywhere. Delay, reduce, and make more difficult everything and anything that doesn't fit their worldview. In a time where they are rapidly becoming the minority (if they are not already) and their belief system is contrary to popularly held opinion (see abortion, same-sex marriage, healthcare, etc) in the west, I find it unbelievable the amount of power conservative movements still hold. I would like to believe that there will be a massive shift in the next decade or so, but then again I'm surprised that they are still relevant at this point. Apathy on the part of younger voters (45 and under) is to blame in part although not the only factor.

As much as I want to keep the forum off of politics, 100% agree with this. The rapid spread of disinformation is making everything worse. 

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Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't really thinking of it as a political statement when I wrote it. I think you make a great point, however. The spread of disinformation, alternate facts, or whatever else it's called these days is a huge problem for the future. Ne'er-do-wells including politicians will take full advantage of using it as a weapon to undermine us regardless of which side of the political or societal spectrum we fall on. When you can no longer trust the information you are being given from any source, how can you make intelligent decisions? The vast majority of the public is not educated on how to evaluate sources whether they are academic, news, or entertainment. Even with multiple years of post-graduate education on how to do so, I find it increasingly difficult in this day and age. So it's no surprise the average Joe can't do so.

At least we can trust in metal media-sphere. I think by now we have all evaluated the usual channels including forums and made our decisions about the quality (or lack thereof) of the recommendations or have found our own trusted sources. I'm beginning to think that it is the one "real" thing I can still rely on although I have my doubts at times. Takes me back to why I was drawn to metal in the first place as a youngun. It brings comfort in an uncertain and confusing world. Gives perspective and helps me maintain an open mind.

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With the idea of trusting the metal media in mind which metal media outlets do people trust?

Sites like Blabbermouth and Metal Injection have always had questionable original content but used to be good for finding links to many different sources where good articles originated. But now days they are little more than clickbait headlines from one side or another, or both sides at once trying to win the pissing contest that has nothing to do with music.

There are other sites like Decibel, Guitar World, etc that have the original articles Blabber etc link too, but they are not dedicated metal outlets and interest would definitely depend on the genres of metal they do cover.

Then there is the thousands of smaller and probably more dedicated to one area of metal sites with good stories but one can't spend all day trawling through a heap of different sites just to get some news. Which is where sites like Blabber used to work, because they did the trawling and despite providing their own BS they did provide links to the original article.

I know we have a couple of local pod casts in Australia that seem to get some respect from the metal community, they often release their video interviews, but again become harder to follow when they mix with so many other podcasts doing the same thing. We have very few metal mags/news sites left here, and one of our once prominent mags which got many a metal head through the late 80's and early 90's is now a patreon site full of metal rumours and untruths they've started to try and make headlines.

Forums can be a good place for some news, but generally it's chat, band's websites are becoming less and less useful for fans, social media pops up band related stuff better than band websites, but social media has it's problems too. So what do people think are trusted metal news sites?

 

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I'm a subscriber to the Thatguy and Navy newsfeeds :)

Honestly I get most of my recommendations from friends, trade a lot of stuff back and forth with the band guys, etc. Metal news was a Facebook thing, and now that I'm off, I'm in the dark. I was "keeping up" for a while, trying to stay on top of new releases, but I got burned out. Always do when I try to take in too much. I'll check out No Clean Singing because I like their willingness to spotlight smaller bands, but like most other sites, it's a crapshoot. Best random recs I get are actually from my Youtube feed, I've probably found more stuff through clicking on the sidebar recommendations than I have through any other site. It's only in the past couple months that I've gotten past my latest period of severe burnout, though.

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