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What's on your mind?


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4 hours ago, FatherAlabaster said:

I don't have a cold, but some rum would probably be a solid idea anyway. 

 

Our new participation ranking system here was funny until earlier today, when it told me I'd become a "Collaborator", as if that was something to be proud of.

Yeah, you 19.5k posts Collaborator, you!

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2 minutes ago, JonoBlade said:

So long as not a horizontal collaborator.

A mole and turncoat are more or less opposite to a collaborator/sympathizer. Co-conspirator? Complicitator? Vichy France?

 

I dunno, I think a collaborator could act as a mole before becoming an actual turncoat, from which point they could go on to become, say, a hero or a traitor, depending of course on which part of the forum they're posting in. Just waiting for the system to spit out my next little endorphin reward at this point.

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There’s plenty on my mind at the moment, I thought I’d had an early mid-life crisis during my 30’s (piercings, tattoo, dreadlocks and a girlfriend ten years younger) but turns out I might be having one now!

I am reassessing my whole life at the moment, the work/life balance has tilted in the wrong direction. I’m unhappy at work and too fucked after work to make the most of what little time I have for myself.

I’m considering a total life change. Property wise, from a financial point of view, I cannot move any further up the property ladder where I am. I earn reasonable money but it doesn’t go far in my home town. 
 

I am seriously thinking of chucking it all in, cashing in on the equity in my property and moving somewhere cheaper and starting again.

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On 9/18/2021 at 5:36 AM, BMB said:

There’s plenty on my mind at the moment, I thought I’d had an early mid-life crisis during my 30’s (piercings, tattoo, dreadlocks and a girlfriend ten years younger) but turns out I might be having one now!

I am reassessing my whole life at the moment, the work/life balance has tilted in the wrong direction. I’m unhappy at work and too fucked after work to make the most of what little time I have for myself.

I’m considering a total life change. Property wise, from a financial point of view, I cannot move any further up the property ladder where I am. I earn reasonable money but it doesn’t go far in my home town. 
 

I am seriously thinking of chucking it all in, cashing in on the equity in my property and moving somewhere cheaper and starting again.

You are not alone in having those thoughts. I have certainly had them from time to time. I know I occasionally think to myself "so this is it? this is the most I will ever be? I've reached my potential on this planet? these are the 'best' years of my life?". I mean I certainly don't have the answer for you, but you are not alone in at least considering those types of things.

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On 9/17/2021 at 8:36 PM, BMB said:

There’s plenty on my mind at the moment, I thought I’d had an early mid-life crisis during my 30’s (piercings, tattoo, dreadlocks and a girlfriend ten years younger) but turns out I might be having one now!

I am reassessing my whole life at the moment, the work/life balance has tilted in the wrong direction. I’m unhappy at work and too fucked after work to make the most of what little time I have for myself.

I’m considering a total life change. Property wise, from a financial point of view, I cannot move any further up the property ladder where I am. I earn reasonable money but it doesn’t go far in my home town. 
 

I am seriously thinking of chucking it all in, cashing in on the equity in my property and moving somewhere cheaper and starting again.

I have been here more than once.  Like TB, I have no answers as such.  I would just add that usually when I feel overwhelmed with the work/life balance tipping the wrong way it is always balanceable again, no matter how far over in the wrong direction the weight feels.  I gave up staying late and doing weekends a while ago and have managed to incorporate doing "me" things into my working day to distract me from work without my performance suffering.  Whether it is a walk through the woods before starting my day, playing a record immediately after finishing work to mark the end of the day and the start of my evening or simply stepping outside to take in the outdoors after a particularly horrible morning/afternoon/individual meeting, email or phone call, any small thing like that manages to dial me back in to my life.  I treat these small things with an enormous amount of ceremony and importance as their significance far outweighs what their description suggests.

I know I cannot do anything else now.  In a way I have accepted defeat long ago.  Upping sticks and moving away to start afresh would be a disaster for me because the strength of my impulse to do so is nowhere near as strong as the perks of my lifestyle that I know I cannot live without.  Instead I am in this ongoing boxing match with my occupation, ducking and weaving from its blows and then landing a few jabs back to remind it of its place in my life with the occasional upper-cut or hook being thrown by both of us to do some real damage here and there.  It keeps me sharp still, notwithstanding that it is really tiring but it is the small things, the bitesize chunks approach to life that I find brings me the balance that I need.  Looking at the vast expanse of our lives overall is just too big a challenge to comprehend otherwise.

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On 9/17/2021 at 8:36 PM, BMB said:

I’m considering a total life change. Property wise, from a financial point of view, I cannot move any further up the property ladder where I am. I earn reasonable money but it doesn’t go far in my home town. 
 

I am seriously thinking of chucking it all in, cashing in on the equity in my property and moving somewhere cheaper and starting again.

It takes massive balls to do stuff like that, but life is short and as long as it is a calculated risk (i.e. not reckless) you may wonder why you didn't do it sooner. 

Most people get caught on the treadmill and bogged down with commitments to others, feel trapped, and cannot see a way clear.  Ultimately, you gotta do what's right and most healthy for you - body and mind.

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I know a friend of mine who never really had a steady job, mostly worked as a roadie or low-entry jobs like caretaker etc. Well his flat went from rented from a landlord, to the option to purchase for cheap. He did and after a few years it was worth around €100 000. So he decided on a whim to sell his flat, sell 90% of his vinyl collection that he's collected since late 80's and travel SE Asia! Does that for a few months, until his travel mate learns his g/f is pregnant and has to go back to Sweden. Money well spent...🙄 He'll never have that kind of savings ever again. The classic short life-strategy.

Moral of the story: Change things up, by all means. But know what you're doing afterwards. Have a plan, even if that just means saving a couple of thousand so you're not homeless if things go south.

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One of my good mates, from Sweden as it happens, quit his job in London, gave up his flat (rented), all his material possessions, packed a single back pack and became a "modern nomad" to travel the world for an indefinite period, working remotely when he could get jobs (in IT).

It has definitely had its ups and downs and, while intriguing, I couldn't see myself wanting such a life, but I respected the hell out of him for taking the plunge. 

This is not quite the same as piling up all your savings and burning it on an overseas trip where you're nothing more than a tourist, because the plan was to be sustainable if at all possible and actually live in new places for extended periods.

Hell, I myself quit my job and moved to the other side of the world...back again 15 years later (with a wife and kid in tow) and then back again a year after that (being towed by the wife and kid). So, I can recommend sweeping life changes when sensibly thought through ..... but beware not to think it through to the extent that you second guess and dismiss every idea you have.

 

 

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I’ve got to sit down and “crunch the numbers” but there is a realistic chance that a move could leave me mortgage free and with a larger property. Not having the financial burden of monthly mortgage payments does open up more job possibilities that won’t be so demanding on my time and body.

My work situation is complicated at the moment and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel where a sensible work/life balance will be restored. 

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We lost my grandmother earlier today. It wasn't a surprise - she was 100 years old and had been in declining physical and mental health for a while now. It's still a shock though. I have a lot of great memories of family time at her house when we'd visit for holidays, and we were in touch every couple of months on the phone up until earlier this year. It was her time, and it's a mercy that she's not suffering anymore, but I still wish I could see her or at least talk to her one more time.

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24 minutes ago, FatherAlabaster said:

We lost my grandmother earlier today. It wasn't a surprise - she was 100 years old and had been in declining physical and mental health for a while now. It's still a shock though. I have a lot of great memories of family time at her house when we'd visit for holidays, and we were in touch every couple of months on the phone up until earlier this year. It was her time, and it's a mercy that she's not suffering anymore, but I still wish I could see her or at least talk to her one more time.

So sorry to hear this FA. She was a great age but it is still heartbreaking. Take comfort in the wonderful memories and the love you guys had will always remain. My thoughts are with you guys.

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On 9/21/2021 at 3:02 AM, FatherAlabaster said:

We lost my grandmother earlier today. It wasn't a surprise - she was 100 years old and had been in declining physical and mental health for a while now. It's still a shock though. I have a lot of great memories of family time at her house when we'd visit for holidays, and we were in touch every couple of months on the phone up until earlier this year. It was her time, and it's a mercy that she's not suffering anymore, but I still wish I could see her or at least talk to her one more time.

Condolences.  Great age but no real comfort when you lose a loved one.

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