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Apoc

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Rare day of actual progress in the garden today as I completed a full weeding session from the back all the way round the side of the house.  Ultimate therapy grabbing things by the root and pulling them out of the earth.  Also, one of the cats briefly escaped after my gf left the door open.  We got her back in within seconds thanks to some quick moves to contain her and steer her back in the house.  Learning to spend more time out in the garden at weekends after being cooped up over a PC or out on the road all week.

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3 minutes ago, natassja7 said:

Feeling bit down recently. Hard to shake off..regrets and rose coloured past reflections. Dunno why I torture myself.

That sucks, it can be hard to break out of. The only thing that was making me feel happy was exercise. I'd finally gotten back into a routine of riding my bicycle and it really seemed to help. Unfortunately an old back injury has flared up and I've been pretty much disabled for the past two weeks, I can't wait to get back to it. Hope you find something that works!

Just now, GorboGorboze said:

Weedeater is coming to a local venue next weekend, and I'm looking forward to that.

Will they help with the gardening? :D

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1 minute ago, FatherAlabaster said:

 

Will they help with the gardening? :D

No, they will not help with the gardening. They will blow into town, snort up all the coke, trash a hotel room, play a mediocre set and then shtup some local in the tour bus before blowing town without regret. Oh for the life of a metal superstar! And me... I'll be doing yard work and Soccer Moming like I do weekends. But for those three hours when I've painted my nails black, purchases a fresh pack of cloves and put on my Gun's and Roses T, I will be able to touch that glory vicariously. When I say "touch that glory" I mean that figuratively mind you, it will not be I, the local on the tour bus. 

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6 minutes ago, FatherAlabaster said:

That sucks, it can be hard to break out of. The only thing that was making me feel happy was exercise. I'd finally gotten back into a routine of riding my bicycle and it really seemed to help. Unfortunately an old back injury has flared up and I've been pretty much disabled for the past two weeks, I can't wait to get back to it. Hope you find something that works!

Will they help with the gardening? :D

Cheers mate, I appreciate it. It's a fight sometimes.. but I'm just glad I got my family and I'm grateful for that. Like I dunno what I'd do sometimes without my ma n pa. I just feel shit about some stuff in the past like they seen me in some shitty states but fuck... anyway I hope you are ok soon for the bike? Yeh I like to do art n stuff but just can't motivate recently. Went the docs n he was gonna give me some meds n counselling but been there before n well I guess I fought through that and shit is stable now for past few years. Been off meds for like 7 years now. Sorry for going on man, glad I got this place. :) Thanks.

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30 minutes ago, natassja7 said:

Feeling bit down recently. Hard to shake off..regrets and rose coloured past reflections. Dunno why I torture myself.

Yeah, I know that all too well, been feeling like that for way too long myself (and still do). As hard as it may be, you need to try and focus on better things. As long as you keep thinking about everything in a bad way you simply condition yourself to keep being unhappy. While that may be grim as fuck, it doesn't really help with anything. And the initial step to actually do it is enormously freaking hard, but whenever I manage to do something else and distract myself I feel so much better afterwards.

And I'm missing motivation, too, to overcome these feelings. I want to make music and record some audio dramas, but... oh well, as long as no-one pushes me my motivation sees no reason to get out of the chair. Maybe the summer with it's happy-go-lucky aura will do something about that.

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Sorry for the fuckin whining, It's not my style usually :D Thank fuck for alcohol n BM .

1 minute ago, SenedeSwaere said:

Yeah, I know that all too well, been feeling like that for way too long myself (and still do). As hard as it may be, you need to try and focus on better things. As long as you keep thinking about everything in a bad way you simply condition yourself to keep being unhappy. While that may be grim as fuck, it doesn't really help with anything. And the initial step to actually do it is enormously freaking hard, but whenever I manage to do something else and distract myself I feel so much better afterwards.

And I'm missing motivation, too, to overcome these feelings. I want to make music and record some audio dramas, but... oh well, as long as no-one pushes me my motivation sees no reason to get out of the chair. Maybe the summer with it's happy-go-lucky aura will do something about that.

Yeh you are right. Moping doesn't help. I guess I do have a tendency for paranoia n looking on bleak side of stuff sometimes. I just need to give myself a shake really, I know better.  Yeh the motivation thing sucks..I hope you find something. Oh and welcome to the forum btw. Excuse me I'm not usually this bleak!

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15 minutes ago, natassja7 said:

Sorry for the fuckin whining, It's not my style usually :D Thank fuck for alcohol n BM .

Yeh you are right. Moping doesn't help. I guess I do have a tendency for paranoia n looking on bleak side of stuff sometimes. I just need to give myself a shake really, I know better.  Yeh the motivation thing sucks..I hope you find something. Oh and welcome to the forum btw. Excuse me I'm not usually this bleak!

"Thank fuck for alcohol n BM ." is so damn true. Been enjoying some why-the-fuck-not?-wine and BM right now.

And thanks! The thing is, I basically know what I have to do, but I just don't see myself able to do it most of the time. The nihilist in me just say that it doesn't make any sense anyway. Yay.

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Haha, cheers then! I'm listening to Fhoi Myore, one of my favourite French BM bands. The French scene is my unbeaten favourite, I've been digging into it for many years now but I still have the feeling that I barely scratched the surface of bands as I still find new ones consistently. You're still going with Urgehal?

It always feels good to know that you're not alone with your problems and that others face the same shit. Cheers again for that.

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In my opinion the French bands always have a great sense for melodies and melancholy, it's kinda unique. Should your ears ever demand something French, I can surely recommend something.

Regarding LLN my favourite release will always be "March to the Black Holocaust", this release hooked me.

Fhoi Myore is pretty diverse, the first releases are kinda different than the newer ones but they're all awesome in their own way. I would recommend "The Northern Cold" as a good start, but you really can't go wrong with any of their recordings. Well, at least in my opinion.

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12 minutes ago, FatherAlabaster said:

My fave there is still Black Murder's "Feasts", something about the attitude and atmosphere on there is just so nasty. And yeah, sharing problems usually helps, it's not whining if you actually need to talk to people. That's what friends are for. My friends have helped me a lot just by listening at times.

Yeh..it's great!  Have you listened to 'Spleen Black Metal' FA? while were talking francais :) It's soo good..and thanks again man. I really appreciate you being here.

18 minutes ago, SenedeSwaere said:

In my opinion the French bands always have a great sense for melodies and melancholy, it's kinda unique. Should your ears ever demand something French, I can surely recommend something.

Regarding LLN my favourite release will always be "March to the Black Holocaust", this release hooked me.

Fhoi Myore is pretty diverse, the first releases are kinda different than the newer ones but they're all awesome in their own way. I would recommend "The Northern Cold" as a good start, but you really can't go wrong with any of their recordings. Well, at least in my opinion.

I will check that out, thanks so much..

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14 minutes ago, natassja7 said:

Yeh..it's great!  Have you listened to 'Spleen Black Metal' FA? while were talking francais :) It's soo good..and thanks again man. I really appreciate you being here.

I will check that out, thanks so much..

Cheers Nat. Glad to see you back on here. I haven't listened to Nocturnal Depression that I can remember, I'll check it out.

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