What's on your mind?

[RaiCoss]

The new and improved Relentless Oblivion. Now 66.6% less predictable.

Caffeine will do that.

[FatherAlabaster]

Not at all mate. Your post seems to emanate a dislike of your mother Sent from my GT-I5500 using Tapatalk 2

Certainly not. I love my mom. I'll have nothing to do with her religion, and after some recent research I'm beginning to see how oddly cultish my parents' particular belief is, which makes me want to understand their motivations for getting involved. I certainly don't blame my mom for being a product of her own upbringing, though. It's also prompted yet another round of self-examination on my part. My upbringing left me with a damagingly fatalistic mindset that it's difficult for me to move beyond, and I blame my mother for a bit of that, but it doesn't change my huge amount of love and respect for her, my father, and my brother, as well as my remaining grandma. I'd take my family over anyone else in the world.

[RaiCoss]

Certainly not. I love my mom. I'll have nothing to do with her religion, and after some recent research I'm beginning to see how oddly cultish my parents' particular belief is, which makes me want to understand their motivations for getting involved. I certainly don't blame my mom for being a product of her own upbringing, though. It's also prompted yet another round of self-examination on my part. My upbringing left me with a damagingly fatalistic mindset that it's difficult for me to move beyond, and I blame my mother for a bit of that, but it doesn't change my huge amount of love and respect for her, my father, and my brother, as well as my remaining grandma. I'd take my family over anyone else in the world.

Questioning everything that you are and were is a sign of strength. Respect!

[mindy6158]

Ha. I get that same 'not a religion' BS from people occasionally: 'no really, it's a relationship...' Well I hope not, I'm not sure how I'd feel being given a thousand-page book of guidelines by somebody I was trying to date, and trying to get to first base with Jesus is notoriously difficult, what with the beard and the being intangible. The problems didn't exactly start with her conversion so much as the lead-up to that conversion. All of us did our darndest to point out the flaws in the literature she was reading and never really seemed to disagree with any of us, but that didn't stop her from adopting a position standing in very stark contrast with the rest of us. Yes, she's the one giving the lectures, most of the time. We had a long, long talk about birth control over the summer. I use the word 'talk' because there was no argument, it consisted mainly of me trying to argue but getting caught up in the justifications she used, which were in themselves flawed. It's hard to localize an argument because all of this stuff fits together, but even some of the localized premises don't work. Why, for example, if life is a gift and if the purpose of intercourse is reproduction, are couples permitted to engage in any kind of birth control? What makes naturalness a criterion for Godliness, especially considering the presence of Original Sin in Catholic doctrine and the Biblical contention that the natural world is inherently flawed? Why are 'artificial' inventions considered negative despite the fact that at root the result is the same, the intent is the same, and that these 'unnatural' means are constructed entirely out of materials which are naturally occurring? It boggled my mind how completely unproductive the whole argument turned out to be given that I constructed my complaints as clearly as possible.

So was she the one defending the BC or yourself? And why do people not know all of the usages of birth control? My little sister got on it at age 16 and is still on it at 18 and is a 100% virgin, never even kissed a boy. So that logic is rather ridiculous. Sorry, but it is. Also, many single women take birth control, one does not have to be in a relationship to have sex and or take birth control. Also, contrary to popular catholic and christian beliefs, not all women want to have a bunch of babies all of the time, this is not 1653 anymore. Women do in fact enjoy sex just as much and sometimes more than men, nothing wrong with that.

[GorboGorboze]

To me it seems like Father Alabaster loves his mom (even if most of the time he does not choose to sing in his "golden words" voice). He is just frustrated that she did not make a clean break from religion, and sort of switched horses instead of kicking the horse, to mix my metaphor. To me it seems at least exotic and interesting to have been brought up in a sort of Hindu household, but I didn't cope with a family religion out of synch with the surrounding culture, I can imagine that was weird maybe. The religious question is a tricky one, because there is something there in religion that is good for people. The making special of a time and a place to appeal to our better selves. There does not need to be a dogma to get it to work, you can just do it as a sort of art. The branding that religious groups do, in the marketing sense of branding, is destructive, it seems to me. Our lives are steeped in mystery, and no reductionist approach hints at the nature of experience and awareness. We are such social creature though, and a single human face holds more interest than miles of roadside. I mean to say we need one and other because part of our experience is a collective consciousness, and I think religion fractures that in a tribal way. That collective awareness may be the most divine aspect of our lives, and if religion gets in the way of it, than it fails to serve. If ones mom, or anyone else, tries to impart a religion onto her kids that is not easily reconciled with experience or society at large, it might be jarring, but Alabaster, as I read him views his mom as something of an addict in denial, not as an ill intentioned person in any way deserving of dislike.

[RelentlessOblivion]

Under the right circumstances perhaps. Doing so as a result of constant criticism leading you to constantly doubt whether your continued existance is merited and feeling as if by simply being alive you are draining resources which could be better used by others in your immediate family or the wider community however holds no such positive connotations.

[RaiCoss]

Under the right circumstances perhaps. Doing so as a result of constant criticism leading you to constantly doubt whether your continued existance is merited and feeling as if by simply being alive you are draining resources which could be better used by others in your immediate family or the wider community however holds no such positive connotations.

That's more a mental health issue. Questioning yourself and whether you could have done better is basically learning from your mistakes. What you're saying sounds closer to the mindset of someone with suicidal tendencies.

[GorboGorboze]

Under the right circumstances perhaps. Doing so as a result of constant criticism leading you to constantly doubt whether your continued existance is merited and feeling as if by simply being alive you are draining resources which could be better used by others in your immediate family or the wider community however holds no such positive connotations.

Fuck Relentless, that is simply some heavy shit there dude. If you've been criticized in that way and to that degree I'm very sorry to hear it. I hope you feel the world has a place for you.

[mindy6158]

That's more a mental health issue. Questioning yourself and whether you could have done better is basically learning from your mistakes. What you're saying sounds closer to the mindset of someone with suicidal tendencies.

Doesn't every human being have some sort of suicidal tendencies to SOME extent?? Pretty sure every human has thought about it at one point in their lives, whether they would plan it out and act out on it in contrast to just simply thinking about it separates the two types.

[RaiCoss]

Doesn't every human being have some sort of suicidal tendencies to SOME extent?? Pretty sure every human has thought about it at one point in their lives' date=' whether they would plan it out and act out on it in contrast to just simply thinking about it separates the two types.[/quote'] Not really a question I can answer as I'm not every human lol.

[GorboGorboze]

Doesn't every human being have some sort of suicidal tendencies to SOME extent?? Pretty sure every human has thought about it at one point in their lives' date=' whether they would plan it out and act out on it in contrast to just simply thinking about it separates the two types.[/quote'] I think so Mindy. I also don't think you can really accept life until you have come to grips with the possibility of suicide. Still though, ones hopes that it can be contemplated in the abstract from a place of security and strength, if you get me.

[mindy6158]

Not really a question I can answer as I'm not every human lol.

Pshh.....take out the word "every" and you are ONN point.

[RelentlessOblivion]

During my bouts with depression that was my mindset. Honestly it scares the shit out of me looking back. People who feel compelled to criticise everything I do (my step-dad for example) no longer get to me. Having said that my 10 year old brother saying "It's not that I don't like you but I hate being your brother because you're blind" really cut me up.

[RaiCoss]

Pshh.....take out the word "every" and you are ONN point.

You wear goggles to cut onions. You lose.

During my bouts with depression that was my mindset. Honestly it scares the shit out of me looking back. People who feel compelled to criticise everything I do (my step-dad for example) no longer get to me. Having said that my 10 year old brother saying "It's not that I don't like you but I hate being your brother because you're blind" really cut me up.

Exactly. A mindset likely born of that depression only. I don't know if every human will experience recognisable mental health issues in their lifetimes. I certainly have known those thoughts, but I found that I was signifcantly stronger mentally than I realised when pushed to the edge (or maybe it was cowardice tricking me into thinking that?). Enough people die with no choice in the matter, who the fuck am I to throw away the gift of life when I have the choice to live? As for your brother, just try to accept people for who they are. You will rarely ever change them.

[mindy6158]

You wear goggles to cut onions. You lose..

You're just jealous I have sweet onion cutting goggles and you do not.

[Iceni]

Not according to Marduk... I'm just saying... [...] It honestly sounds like a prime illustration of why one shouldn't try to reason someone out of something they weren't reasoned into in the first place.

My friend actually asked me whether it was ethically permissible for Christian women to jack off to Jesus. I remember him saying to me 'man, I wouldn't wanna be cucked by Jesus...' As for reasoning in and out of something...I'm beginning to realize that. It's just disappointing to see my mom being so relentlessly illogical, I know she's not stupid enough to believe what she professes.

[mindy6158]

During my bouts with depression that was my mindset. Honestly it scares the shit out of me looking back. People who feel compelled to criticise everything I do (my step-dad for example) no longer get to me. Having said that my 10 year old brother saying "It's not that I don't like you but I hate being your brother because you're blind" really cut me up.

Your brother just probably does not understand yet. Did you ask him why it bothers him that you are blind? Perhaps he meant more that he feels bad for you a lot and does not want to feel this way all the time or something.

[RaiCoss]

You're just jealous I have sweet onion cutting goggles and you do not.

If by jealous you mean literally lol'ing at the sheer pussiness of it, then yes, I am..

[RelentlessOblivion]

Your brother just probably does not understand yet. Did you ask him why it bothers him that you are blind? Perhaps he meant more that he feels bad for you a lot and does not want to feel this way all the time or something.

I did ask him why he felt that way. He simply said "I don't like people who have something wrong with them".

[RaiCoss]

I did ask him why he felt that way. He simply said "I don't like people who have something wrong with them".

Well try to explain to him that's not how a decent person is expected to operate in a society, and that it hurts you. if he doesn't change after you've made that clear, you'll just have to accept him for what he is.

[mindy6158]

I did ask him why he felt that way. He simply said "I don't like people who have something wrong with them".

Is he still ten? Like is this something that just happened?

[RelentlessOblivion]

Yep, still ten, happened just last week. I tried explaining that it's not nice to say things like that and he understands. But in his words "it's ok because you're not a finished person".

[mindy6158]

Yep' date=' still ten, happened just last week. I tried explaining that it's not nice to say things like that and he understands. But in his words "it's ok because you're not a finished person".[/quote'] It will be your parents responsibility to explain to him that every human being has a flaw, no matter what. That nobody is perfect and the world would be a boring place if so. He should also understand that there are far far many more people suffering from much worse.

[RaiCoss]

Yep' date=' still ten, happened just last week. I tried explaining that it's not nice to say things like that and he understands. But in his words "it's ok because you're not a finished person".[/quote'] No offense (well maybe a little), but your brother sounds like a little prick. I hope he grows out of it.

[mindy6158]

No offense (well maybe a little)' date=' but your brother sounds like a little prick. I hope he grows out of it.[/quote'] While I half agree, he is only ten. While that is old enough to know what being blind means in a sense, it is adults surrounding him that needs to explain so that he actually understands it. Kids are very blunt about everything, heh.