Jump to content

What's on your mind?


Apoc

Recommended Posts

Don't you usually find differences of opinion stimulating? And' date=' why are you sometimes convinced that you don't have anything useful to add? You usually have a well-informed, well-considered perspective on things you care about, from what I can see, although your homicidal tendencies are a bit worrisome... :D[/quote'] Differences of opinion are a dangerous phenomenon from a relationship perspective, I think - at least in my case. I can be friends with someone with whom I disagree, because I know I can just ignore it. There's no imperative for me to dwell on their opinion on that particular front, but in a relationship that difference would bug me every day since I have to live with a person for whom that opinion is important and influential. By the same token, trying to 'marry yourself' seems like it'd be a bad idea since the relationship wouldn't hold you accountable or improve your character. As a result I assume what you're supposed to do is find a middle ground, which I can't seem to do since everything bothers me, even speaking tics and footwear choices. I have this vague hypothetical ideal of somebody who studies a different field, which partially interacts with my own and has roughly the same level of expertise. Somebody with the ability to set me aright if I start feeling too sorry for myself and quit trying, probably by making my immaturity plain to me as my brother often does. Finally, it'd be nice if I got the impression that I contributed something that she appreciated - or else I just wouldn't have the faintest idea of why the relationship existed in the first place. There are a number of reasons why I get the distinct impression that I don't contribute anything to various different relationships. I suppose I should quickly explain that I'm somewhat more cogent and brave on the internet than I am in real life. There's plenty of time for me to consider my responses, so I don't just clam up. I can research, I can ponder, I can develop unorthodox lines of thought - the social sphere doesn't offer me that luxury. If somebody brings up a line of thought in discussion I have to come up with something very quickly and see if I can stall for long enough to put it together, but that doesn't always work. Oftentimes they'll just assert something I've never heard that sounds really stupid but I can't attack because I've no idea what data is behind it. And thus the conversation dies, and by the time I've got the sensible and well-considered response they're sharing some story with their friends about getting drunk and hurling their guts into an apartment toilet and I can't get their bloody attention. Anyway... First, I'm not really hot stuff on Georgetown campus far as I know. There are students with Senatorial internships and only in their second year, a research fellowship and study abroad for summer, doing Georgetown Policy Debate and performing well on the national level, who routinely and (apparently) trivially maintain a 3.5 GPA or higher, who research every day and read voraciously. As it turns out, one very impressive guy I've spoken to is a very well-informed IPOL Security Studies major but he admits to a general ignorance of African politics, so I'm blessed with the opportunity to contribute something - but that usually isn't the case. For example, there's only so much talking about music and technique I can do before it'll become blindingly obvious to folks like you and BAN that I don't quite know what I'm talking about. Second - usually, the stuff that fascinates me doesn't hold anyone else's interest. As a result it's a conversational dead end. Words are coming out of my gob and just bouncing off the somewhat irritated and impatient face of the person I'm talking to without so much as a dent to validate all my tongue-wagging. Sometimes they get angry and that usually results in either me being corrected (although I'm rarely certain that they're actually in the right) or me just not responding because I know nothing will happen once I give the evidence. People don't really reason at this university a whole lot on a number of issues, it's often a very touchy-feely approach people have, an anti-intellectual approach that I suspect you despise as much as I do. Third, almost nobody listens to me out of genuine interest. They usually listen out of obligation, and I can tell because I've had to do the same thing on numerous occasions. The overwhelming impression that I get is 'when the hell is this loser going to shut his f*cking face so I can go back to enjoying myself?' Sometimes they show too much enthusiasm, which tends to put me off inasmuch as I tend to get the impression that they care a lot more about the subject than I do in which case I'll just leave them to find somebody of equal fervor. That, or they're just faking it. Middle-aged adults do that to me a lot and I hate it. I like talking to old people and younger couples since they're nice enough to let me rant but usually have some pithy insight that exhorts me to be more perspicacious without being passive-aggressively insulting. Fourth - I'm not sure what I contribute to my own family. There's really nothing inherent about me that distinguishes me positively from my brother or either of my parents. There's nothing about me that one of them is incapable of doing better. I'm less generous, patient, charitable, compassionate and musically apt than my mother, less perspicacious, well-read, humble, socially capable, easygoing, tactful and economically responsible than my father, and less affectionate, intelligent, hard-working and emotionally mature than my brother.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pretty much on the same page with points one, two, and three, don't have much to add to that.

Differences of opinion are a dangerous phenomenon from a relationship perspective' date=' I think - at least in my case. I can be friends with someone with whom I disagree, because I know I can just ignore it. There's no imperative for me to dwell on their opinion on that particular front, but in a relationship that difference would bug me every day since I have to live with a person for whom that opinion is important and influential. By the same token, trying to 'marry yourself' seems like it'd be a bad idea since the relationship wouldn't hold you accountable or improve your character. As a result I assume what you're supposed to do is find a middle ground, which I can't seem to do since [i']everything bothers me, even speaking tics and footwear choices.
I'm probably not quite as picky, depending on how strongly you mean the last bit, but the part about dwelling on their opinion is definitely true. It's what's bothering me so much right now.
Somebody with the ability to set me aright if I start feeling too sorry for myself and quit trying' date=' probably by making my immaturity plain to me as my brother often does.[/quote'] This is a good method, depending on the person. I solve a lot of my two best friends' anxiety just by being extra blunt with them. It doesn't work with my friend from home, though, because of her depression.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Syuurin, I'm certainly not arguing that "opposites attract". Like I say, it seems that you've got a handle on your current situation... even if it's not something you can feel good about at this point. Common interests are really important (my wife and I both love the same food, read the same books, etc). All I'm saying is that common goals (kids? career? homeownership? etc), respect, and the trust of knowing someone else has your best interests at heart (as YOU define them, not as they do) are just as important, as is being given the space to be your own person with your own areas of interest. I'm also influenced by my parents' relationship; they don't have many common interests, but they pay attention to one another's needs and give each other the space to grow. I'm really happy my mom has been pursuing her pottery again lately, because she's awesome at it, and my dad has been climbing tall trees in his spare time... whatever works, huh? :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Recently some random people I've talked to made the assumption that I liked Between the Buried and Me. But I've never listened to them in my life and am not sure I really want to' date=' unless their further claim that BTBAM is becoming more prog of late is actually true...[/quote'] Ah, if they get any more "prog" maybe they'll fold themselves entirely into some other non-Euclidean space along with all their fanboys, and we won't have to hear from them again. :D (I kid, nothing against them, not really my jam though.)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Syuurin' date=' I'm certainly not arguing that "opposites attract". Like I say, it seems that you've got a handle on your current situation... even if it's not something you can feel good about at this point. Common interests are really important (my wife and I both love the same food, read the same books, etc). All I'm saying is that common goals (kids? career? homeownership? etc), respect, and the trust of knowing someone else has your best interests at heart (as YOU define them, not as they do) are just as important, as is being given the space to be your own person with your own areas of interest. I'm also influenced by my parents' relationship; they don't have many common interests, but they pay attention to one another's needs and give each other the space to grow. I'm really happy my mom has been pursuing her pottery again lately, because she's awesome at it, and my dad has been climbing tall trees in his spare time... whatever works, huh? :D[/quote'] Sorry if it sounded like I was putting that into your words--I often have tangents pop into my head and sometimes they get tangled in the conversation. All of your points on the matter have been really good. My parents' relationship is the exact opposite. I think they used to have more in common, but now, they're completely different people and don't get along well at all because of it. I don't know that it would ever be possible for them to divorce, though, at this point. One of my biggest fears, actually, is ending up stuck in a relationship like theirs.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aesh. My mom's given me some information on Catholic views on birth control (which I did request from her) but wow, this is just so much stupider than I thought. I'm pissed at the witless condescending buttwad who wrote this piece of drivel for insulting the intelligence of everyone reading it. And that's entirely outside the actual birth control policy, the justification is even worse...

My parent's relationship is the exact opposite. I think they used to have more in common' date=' but now, they're completely different people and don't get along well at all because of it. I don't know that it would ever be possible for them to divorce, though, at this point. One of my biggest fears, actually, is ending up stuck in a relationship like theirs.[/quote'] I worry about that too. I'm perpetually impressed with how patient and forgiving my dad can be sometimes, but if I need that kind of forbearance for a relationship (let alone a marriage) I'm not sure I could hack it. As a prog fan let me emphatically state that I don't like them at all. They're another one of these mathy core bands who come off as massively irritating. I'd rather have Sikth any day.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the "prog" label is being rendered meaningless by overuse and poor application, anyway - aside from "prog rock", I think it's more valid when it's used to describe discernable influences, melodic tendencies, and songwriting styles in bands across a number of genres, rather than as a separate genre. I'm tempted to take it out of the description of my own stuff, even though it does fit, because it's starting to become synonymous with "djent", and that's just bullshit. Any label that has grown to encompass old Genesis, King Crimson, Queensryche (really?!), Emperor, Meshuggah, AAL, Akercocke, and Lykathea Aflame might be so broad as to have outlived its usefulness.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aesh. My mom's given me some information on Catholic views on birth control (which I did request from her) but wow' date=' this is just so much stupider than I thought. I'm pissed at the witless condescending buttwad who wrote this piece of drivel for insulting the intelligence of everyone reading it. And that's entirely outside the actual birth control policy, the justification is even worse...[/quote'] Oh dear. My father is Catholic, but completely progressive on social/women's issues (Mum and I would have his head if he wasn't). Good to know. I'll probably have to listen to them sometime, though, just to see what I think.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh dear. My father is Catholic' date=' but completely progressive on social/women's issues (Mum and I would have his head if he wasn't).[/quote'] It's not of much concern to me as a women's issue, more as simply bad logic. The policy is unnecessarily draconian, its justification poses more questions than it answers and ultimately contradicts a fundamental tenet of Scripture. For what it's worth my mom's not too far gone, even she can't stand Bill O'Reilley.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

RE: relationships, I'm pretty much with FA on this one. My wife and I agree on many things, mostly more fundamental things (parenting, our relationship dynamics, ethics, finances, etc...), but do differ slightly on subjects like politics, spirituality, business, etc... We mostly agree on most things, but have almost completely different interests that we are supportive of in the other, and it gives us some of our own space. My wife and I only agree on a large number of musical genres, but the ones that we are respectively most interested in, we do not share. Our hobbies are totally different, but we try to give each other time for them without taking away too much family time that we want to spend together. The biggest thing I hear from Iceni is focusing too much on the superficial aspects of a relationship, which I'm not saying doesn't have an impact, but love is of paramount importance and shrinks the significance of most of what he is citing. The thing is, we all have shortcomings, and a good relationship will see people stepping up and helping in areas where you fall short and vice versa, which they do willingly because love is the motivation. The important thing is to put in the effort, as nobody is perfect, but trying and improving, pouring yourself into the relationship makes all of the difference. If you're doing your best and you love each other, that's all you really need. This is just my opinion of course, but I think my relationship has been successful thus far, so there's definitely worse advice out there. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

Link to comment
Share on other sites

RE: prog metal, I'm kind of in the middle of most opinions presented. I feel that the label is overused, but can be applied to 2 different kinds of metal, much like gothic metal. One is metal which is influenced by prog rock, and the other is metal that has a progressive outlook, writing style, and sound. Bands like Dream Theater can merit the label for being influenced by bands like Rush, while continuing to create similar albums and not really evolve (not being progressive/progressing their sound), while other more extreme bands can offer a progressive and different take on other sounds while fitting into the same genre. Typically, the progressive label is more of a modifier placed on more adventurous bands of various sounds, but that spirit of adventure and progression is also enough to unify bands doing things that sound wildly different aesthetically. Just like anything else though, these labels can be useful, but should not be considered a catch-all or become exclusive, which would limit your perception of various music and interfere with enjoying something for what it is. $.02 Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

Link to comment
Share on other sites

RE: Fox News and Bill O'Reilly, my dad and my father-in-law eat that shit up, and I think it's garbage. No Spin Zone my ass, it's just more of the same dogshit being broadcast all over the mainstream media to keep people distracted and fearful, otherwise they would point their attention toward real issues and the people that are really taking advantage of them. Anything that fosters ignorance and hate has no value for me, and this goes for most anything broadcast on TV. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with you that a loving/caring relationship can supersede things like interests--I think what I've really been trying to get at (I don't know about Iceni), but having trouble expressing, is that in my experience finding initial common ground has led to finding compatibility on a more fundamental level that doesn't actually have that much to do with mutual interests; my best friend from home has certainly changed a lot from the days when we would marathon Zelda together, and I've moved on from her musical tastes, but having known each other so long, it's a friendship that has transcended any need to like similar things. I think of us as different sides of the same person, in a way. So it *feels* like we're the same, even though on the surface we can be quite different. I've had relationships that were similar, but other things ended up interfering. The overall idea is that I'd like to find someone I feel like I can grow with. I don't really feel that way right now about my boyfriend. Sometimes I do. But these back-and-forth feelings are hard to deal with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with you that a loving/caring relationship can supersede things like interests--I think what I've really been trying to get at (I don't know about Iceni), but having trouble expressing, is that in my experience finding initial common ground has led to finding compatibility on a more fundamental level that doesn't actually have that much to do with mutual interests; my best friend from home has certainly changed a lot from the days when we would marathon Zelda together, and I've moved on from her musical tastes, but having known each other so long, it's a friendship that has transcended any need to like similar things. I think of us as different sides of the same person, in a way. So it *feels* like we're the same, even though on the surface we can be quite different. I've had relationships that were similar, but other things ended up interfering. The overall idea is that I'd like to find someone I feel like I can grow with. I don't really feel that way right now about my boyfriend. Sometimes I do. But these back-and-forth feelings are hard to deal with.
That's what I'm talking about, the deeper connection is what matters, and the line to that connection can begin through more superficial interests, but shouldn't really hinge on them. Unfortunately, not feeling like you can grow with and/or totally be yourself with this person suggests that the deeper connection is either not there, or not the point of focus for both in the relationship. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The biggest thing I hear from Iceni is focusing too much on the superficial aspects of a relationship' date=' which I'm not saying doesn't have an impact, but love is of paramount importance and shrinks the significance of most of what he is citing.[/quote'] That's entirely possible. I've got no idea what a relationship is like since I've only ever attempted to observe them. I'm sure I've mentioned before that I've never been on a date, let alone in a relationship, so no, I don't have a clue what I'm talking about. This is mostly frantic guesswork because I tried once and it was so wildly unsuccessful that I've had very little incentive to try again.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's what I'm talking about' date=' the deeper connection is what matters, and the line to that connection can begin through more superficial interests, but shouldn't really hinge on them. Unfortunately, not feeling like you can grow with and/or totally be yourself with this person suggests that the deeper connection is either not there, or not the point of focus for both in the relationship. [/quote'] Yes, that last sentence is exactly what bothers me. He's always been a lot more into me than I him, but I feel like it's often in a physical sense, which bothers me. I tried to express that once, and he just ended up upset and kind of bitter about it, which didn't help.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Join Metal Forum

    joinus-home.jpg

  • Our picks

    • Whichever tier of thrash metal you consigned Sacred Reich back in the 80's/90's they still had their moments.  "Ignorance" & "Surf Nicaragura" did a great job of establishing the band, whereas "The American Way" just got a little to comfortable and accessible (the title track grates nowadays) for my ears.  A couple more records better left forgotten about and then nothing for twenty three years.  2019 alone has now seen three releases from Phil Rind and co.  A live EP, a split EP with Iron Reagan and now a full length.

      Notable addition to the ranks for the current throng of releases is former Machine Head sticksman, Dave McClean.  Love or hate Machine Head, McClean is a more than capable drummer and his presence here is felt from the off with the opening and title track kicking things off with some real gusto.  'Divide & Conquer' and 'Salvation' muddle along nicely, never quite reaching any quality that would make my balls tingle but comfortable enough.  The looming build to 'Manifest Reality' delivers a real punch when the song starts proper.  Frenzied riffs and drums with shots of lead work to hold the interest.


      There's a problem already though (I know, I am such a fucking mood hoover).  I don't like Phil's vocals.  I never had if I am being honest.  The aggression to them seems a little forced even when they are at their best on tracks like 'Manifest Reality'.  When he tries to sing it just feels weak though ('Salvation') and tracks lose real punch.  Give him a riffy number such as 'Killing Machine' and he is fine with the Reich engine (probably a poor choice of phrase) up in sixth gear.  For every thrashy riff there's a fair share of rock edged, local bar act rhythm aplenty too.

      Let's not poo-poo proceedings though, because overall I actually enjoy "Awakening".  It is stacked full of catchy riffs that are sticky on the old ears.  Whilst not as raw as perhaps the - brilliant - artwork suggests with its black and white, tattoo flash sheet style design it is enjoyable enough.  Yes, 'Death Valley' & 'Something to Believe' have no place here, saved only by Arnett and Radziwill's lead work but 'Revolution' is a fucking 80's thrash heyday throwback to the extent that if you turn the TV on during it you might catch a new episode of Cheers!

      3/5
      • Reputation Points

      • 10 replies
    • I
      • Reputation Points

      • 2 replies
    • https://www.metalforum.com/blogs/entry/52-vltimas-something-wicked-marches-in/
      • Reputation Points

      • 3 replies

    • https://www.metalforum.com/blogs/entry/48-candlemass-the-door-to-doom/
      • Reputation Points

      • 2 replies
    • Full length number 19 from overkill certainly makes a splash in the energy stakes, I mean there's some modern thrash bands that are a good two decades younger than Overkill who can only hope to achieve the levels of spunk that New Jersey's finest produce here.  That in itself is an achievement, for a band of Overkill's stature and reputation to be able to still sound relevant four decades into their career is no mean feat.  Even in the albums weaker moments it never gets redundant and the energy levels remain high.  There's a real sense of a band in a state of some renewed vigour, helped in no small part by the addition of Jason Bittner on drums.  The former Flotsam & Jetsam skinsman is nothing short of superb throughout "The Wings of War" and seems to have squeezed a little extra out of the rest of his peers.

      The album kicks of with a great build to opening track "Last Man Standing" and for the first 4 tracks of the album the Overkill crew stomp, bash and groove their way to a solid level of consistency.  The lead work is of particular note and Blitz sounds as sneery and scathing as ever.  The album is well produced and mixed too with all parts of the thrash machine audible as the five piece hammer away at your skull with the usual blend of chugging riffs and infectious anthems.  


      There are weak moments as mentioned but they are more a victim of how good the strong tracks are.  In it's own right "Distortion" is a solid enough - if not slightly varied a journey from the last offering - but it just doesn't stand up well against a "Bat Shit Crazy" or a "Head of a Pin".  As the album draws to a close you get the increasing impression that the last few tracks are rescued really by some great solos and stomping skin work which is a shame because trimming of a couple of tracks may have made this less obvious. 

      4/5
      • Reputation Points

      • 4 replies
×
×
  • Create New...