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Apoc

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I have to say I'm really lucky, my parents are great. We have a lot in common and they did their best to provide for me and brother growing up. Always encouraged me to pursue my goals and raised me to be pretty skeptical of the value of tests, rankings, material "success", displays of wealth, religion, etc. I wish I could see them more, but they're a 14 or 15 hour drive away. A lot of stuff about my childhood wasn't ideal, but I can't complain in that regard. They were the black sheep in their families, as you might expect. We only saw extended family for holidays, and I've had zero contact with my dad's side since his parents passed away. I wouldn't recognize them on the street.

My grandparents were all really sweet to me, for what that's worth, and I miss them all. Watching my dad's father deteriorate with Parkinson's was scary and sad. He lashed out a bit at the end, which I only heard about - had episodes where he didn't understand his surroundings at the hospital and got really abusive towards the staff. That was extremely out of character for the guy I knew.

My wife didn't have it very good with her folks, and there's a lot of tension and unresolved/unacknowledged trauma laying between them. It sucks to see the same dynamic unfold over and over. Her mom seems a bit like what Dead describes in his post. Maybe not as extreme. I hate it for her and it reminds me of how lucky I am not to have to deal with it in my own immediate family.

 

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Oh, you might have, but for some reason my brain said Thursday. I knew I wasn't going to be home for dinner last night and my brain told me I'd have to commandeer the TV where I was at 7:30. I did that and figured C7 just didn't care.

Turns out yesterday was a fuck up all round for me. The wife and I went shopping and some how I managed to step off a kerb onto a broken piece of concrete, rolled my ankle, went down like a sack of shit cutting my knees on the asphalt, slamming my hands onto the ground and swearing. The wife looked around expecting me to just be complaining about my hip or back, instead she's having to pick up my keys and shopping bags while wondering what happened. I got up and hobbled around on the twisted ankle so I knew that wasn't broken but the doc sent me for x-rays this morning and the x-ray guy, who I've known for years, "unofficially" told me he reckons I've torn my right labrum, more than likely from the jarring of landing on my hands. Doctor will officially tell me the results this afternoon, but pretty sure the x-ray guy knows what he's seeing, he's just not supposed to pre-empt the referring doctor.

After a failed repair of the left labrum in 2006 and living with the pain since I'm in two minds which way to go with this one if it is the same problem.

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2 hours ago, KillaKukumba said:

yesterday was a fuck up all round for me. The wife and I went shopping and some how I managed to step off a kerb onto a broken piece of concrete, rolled my ankle, went down like a sack of shit cutting my knees on the asphalt, slamming my hands onto the ground and swearing. The wife looked around expecting me to just be complaining about my hip or back, instead she's having to pick up my keys and shopping bags while wondering what happened. I got up and hobbled around on the twisted ankle so I knew that wasn't broken but the doc sent me for x-rays this morning and the x-ray guy, who I've known for years, "unofficially" told me he reckons I've torn my right labrum, more than likely from the jarring of landing on my hands. Doctor will officially tell me the results this afternoon, but pretty sure the x-ray guy knows what he's seeing, he's just not supposed to pre-empt the referring doctor.

First day with the new legs?

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Thanks all. Doctor confirmed, I'm a dumbarse...he more accurately confirmed what the Radiology guy said. The cuts and ankle strains will heal bit there is a 1.5cm tear in the labrum caused by landing hard on my hands. I'm quite hesitant to go under the knife after the first time (left shoulder was a 4cm tear in 2006) because it never repaired or healed properly and I was diagnosed with frozen shoulder and permanent impairment of 26%. Whether I've been better off in the last 15 odd years than if I'd never had the surgery I doubt I'll ever know but I'm certainly considering living with this one given it's smaller and the swelling isn't as bad as the first one. I told the doctor I'm going to mull it over during Chrissie and see what the new year brings, I doubt I could get surgery done before Chrissie even if I wanted it anyway.

 

3 hours ago, GoatmasterGeneral said:

First day with the new legs?

Bloody ebay, the seller must have sent me two different sizes. I should have known because I'd been walking in circles for three days. Now I'm hesitant to try the new eyes I ordered from Amazon.

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9 hours ago, RelentlessOblivion said:

Well I  was on Fox cricket, not 7 though I don’t think

Bummer, I don't have Fox. How did it go?

 

7 hours ago, MacabreEternal said:

After avoiding it for 3 years I tested positive for COVID this morning - rest and alcohol needed.

Sucks, hope you get over it quick.

Did I miss the memo where doctors recommend alcohol as a cure for covid? :)

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1 hour ago, KillaKukumba said:

Bummer, I don't have Fox. How did it go?

 

Sucks, hope you get over it quick.

Did I miss the memo where doctors recommend alcohol as a cure for covid? :)

It was pretty cool, who knows we might even bring some new sponsors on board, considering our demonstration was done in front of the members section.

 

Get well soon Macabre

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I've always worked on the theory that whiskey or bourbon cured colds, but I though the cure for covid was bleach.

 

14 minutes ago, RelentlessOblivion said:

It was pretty cool, who knows we might even bring some new sponsors on board, considering our demonstration was done in front of the members section.

 

Good stuff. I remember in the 80's we did a thing for kids cricket at the MCG during the lunch break of one of the games and it could some good sponsor and money injection, so hopefully yours does too.

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I missed most of the mental health discussions and shitty childhoods, but I do feel for each and everyone of you. I too have some baggage, but nothing I'm sharing here. Not that I don't like you guys, but this is a public forum after all and it probably wouldn't be too hard to figure out who all of us are, especially after GG doxxing my name every 5 min 😄

Suffice to say, I have no idea what I'd do in your place Navy, it's a shitty situation all around and you gotta blow of steam where you can.

And for what it's worth, if you can find a good psychologist or therapist, do it. Let them worry about which thread to start pulling at, that's their job. You may have it together, but like you said, it might improve your relationships with wife and daughter and make them even better. Sometimes we don't even realise the shit we carry around until we put the rucksack down.

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3 hours ago, Sheol said:

I missed most of the mental health discussions and shitty childhoods, but I do feel for each and everyone of you. I too have some baggage, but nothing I'm sharing here. Not that I don't like you guys, but this is a public forum after all and it probably wouldn't be too hard to figure out who all of us are, especially after GG doxxing my name every 5 min 😄

Suffice to say, I have no idea what I'd do in your place Navy, it's a shitty situation all around and you gotta blow of steam where you can.

And for what it's worth, if you can find a good psychologist or therapist, do it. Let them worry about which thread to start pulling at, that's their job. You may have it together, but like you said, it might improve your relationships with wife and daughter and make them even better. Sometimes we don't even realise the shit we carry around until we put the rucksack down.

Yeah, last week was particularly miserable, but we got through. I usually blow off steam on the golf course with a little whiskey and 4+ hours of caveman death metal. Good for general frustration as long as I get in at least 1 session a week. But besides the family care issues, I also had kids talking divorce, a miserable couple of weeks at work, a notice from the IRS that I owe a decent chunk before the end of the year, and most importantly - I've gone 3 weeks without my outdoor therapy due to travel and weather. It's all good though. Not better, all the problems are still there, but I did get some time on the course in this weekend. Maybe I would have been better off if I had kept up playing music years ago. I'm sure I have enough "motivation" and "baggage" to make some truly sick and twisted stuff. At least have had a creative outlet.

Seriously though, therapy isn't a bad idea. It's just finding the time to work it in. More importantly, I've got to get back to daily meditation sessions. I have the time in the day, usually later in the evening, but I find myself dicking around on the internet too much. Or listening to podcast. Dumb shit. Way too easy these days to find little distractions that consume significant portions of time. I was always a little calmer when I practiced regularly.

I think my biggest issue has always been allowing other people dump their problems on me. One of my managers calls this pin pulling. Someone comes in, sets the problem on your desk, and walks out leaving you to deal with it. Probably the best description I've heard. Drawing definite boundaries instead of just allowing others to do that sort of thing has always been a problem for me and where I could definitely use some assistance from a professional. Politely decline the grenade and let them find someone else if you will.

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