Need some advice

[CreepyDarkPrincess]

Ok, you see, I'm kind of a person that is stressed almost all the time. There's a variety of reasons. It can be my trauma, or school, or something else. Listening to metal sometimes helps me with panic attacks

How should I deal with stress?

[GoatmasterGeneral]

Listen to more metal! Works for me! 

But seriously, fuck those other kids in your school. Don't let them get to you, because you'll be grown up and out of school soon enough. 

To start let me be very clear that I'm no psychologist or anything, OK? So please don't rely on any medical advice from me. But it seems to me almost everyone has stress to deal with even if they don't always show it. You are not alone, many of us have large amounts of stress to deal with in our lives. Anti-anxiety medications are very popular here in the USA because so many people are so stressed all the time for a myriad of different reasons. It does seem women are almost twice as likely to be taking one of these meds as men though.

No one here on a music forum who doesn't even know you can tell you how to best deal with your stress, because everyone is unique, different methods might work very differently for different people. I don't know what country you're in or if you have access to medical care as a minor (under 18?) but I promise you there is no shame in seeing a mental health professional. No one is going to swoop in and just fix this for you unless you take steps to deal with this yourself. We can offer you encouragement, but you have to do the work.

In the meantime, listen to more metal if that helps you. It has always helped me. And good luck.

[CreepyDarkPrincess]

6 hours ago, GoatmasterGeneral said:

Listen to more metal! Works for me! 

But seriously, fuck those other kids in your school. Don't let them get to you, because you'll be grown up and out of school soon enough. 

To start let me be very clear that I'm no psychologist or anything, OK? So please don't rely on any medical advice from me. But it seems to me almost everyone has stress to deal with even if they don't always show it. You are not alone, many of us have large amounts of stress to deal with in our lives. Anti-anxiety medications are very popular here in the USA because so many people are so stressed all the time for a myriad of different reasons. It does seem women are almost twice as likely to be taking one of these meds as men though.

No one here on a music forum who doesn't even know you can tell you how to best deal with your stress, because everyone is unique, different methods might work very differently for different people. I don't know what country you're in or if you have access to medical care as a minor (under 18?) but I promise you there is no shame in seeing a mental health professional. No one is going to swoop in and just fix this for you unless you take steps to deal with this yourself. We can offer you encouragement, but you have to do the work.

In the meantime, listen to more metal if that helps you. It has always helped me. And good luck.

Thanks:)

I can't see a psychologist right now because of my parents. I'm gonna do that when I'm in a university. Not much left until the end of school.

[MacabreEternal]

On 3/24/2023 at 9:25 AM, Taisiya_or_Tasya said:

Ok, you see, I'm kind of a person that is stressed almost all the time. There's a variety of reasons. It can be my trauma, or school, or something else. Listening to metal sometimes helps me with panic attacks

How should I deal with stress?

I would echo what GG said.  I am pushing 50 years old and have increasingly been able to cope less well with stress over the past ten years or so.  Simple advice (and you are doing this by listening to metal), separate the elements of your life, compartmentalise the different parts into their own space.  I start my day by listening to an album and then finish it by doing the same.  In between is when all the chaos of work happens and short of a lottery win that won't go away any time soon but I still step away when needed - even if it is to walk around my garden for 5 minutes before going back to it (I work from home largely).  The point is that 9-5 is not my time it is someone else's - shareholders, directors, customers. Before 9 and after 5 is my time and I make a ceremony out of the start and end of that time because it is for me and it deserves that attention.

Also, for me, being outside walking in the most rural and natural environment I can find before work and at weekends is a massive help.  Physically it helps me stay healthy but mentally I simply could not cope without that cleansing session each morning.  Time for me, thinking about nothing and nobody else is the key for me and make sure you are not robbing yourself of your own mental space by letting others intrude into your thoughts.

[SurgicalBrute]

On 3/24/2023 at 5:25 AM, Taisiya_or_Tasya said:

How should I deal with stress?

Okay, speaking as someone who has legitimately dealt with a diagnosed mental health/stress disorder (Anxiety and OCD), a psychologist is going to be your best bet for really dealing with it. At the very least they'll be able to help you start to identify the core sources of the stress, and give you techniques for dealing with it in a healthy way. Just make sure you're honest with them about what is and isn't working, so they can make adjustments in your therapy as they're needed.

Since that isn't a viable solution for you right now, you need to find things that distract you and take your mind off being stressed. That's probably why listening to music helps you sometimes, because it allows you focus on something else and gives your mind a moment to just slow down.

Exercise, or being physical in some way, is another good way to deal with stress as it not only causes your body to release endorphins, but it will once again allow your mind to focus on something other than the stress. I used to work a physical job, and I'd often find that I'd feel a lot better while I was out doing physical labor.

Get lots of sunlight. You'd be surprised how much better you might feel just getting outside on a nice sunny day. Sit on your porch and listen to some music or something. I always felt a noticeable change in my stress when the sun was out and the weather was nice.

If you have a house pet that will sit with you, like a cat or a dog, they have done studies that show animals do actually help with our stress levels.

Watch a favorite movie or TV show. Not something new, but something that you legitimately enjoy...especially if it's something that makes you laugh. There's a comfort factor in familiar things that you can tap into this way, and that can help with feelings of stress. 

Get out with your friends or even your family if you like hanging out with them. This is more about getting out and being active, but if you're around people who can make you laugh and feel relaxed, that's going to help you a lot. I'd also say, if you have someone in your life you feel comfortable talking to about things that are bugging you, even if they don't have any advice, you might be surprised how much it helps just to say to another living person that you're freaking out.

A hot bath can be effective. As you get stressed your muscles tend to unconsciously knot up on you. A hot bath will help relax the physical tension, which can have a reciprocal effect on the mental stress. The downside to a hot bath is that it gives your mind a chance to wander, which may allow it to focus on being stressed, so this one may or may not work.

Reading can help as well, but kind of like a hot bath, it can be hit or miss. As long as you're not so stressed that you can focus on the story, it can take your mind off of whatever your stressed about. If the stress is too bad though, you may just find yourself reading the same page over and over because you can't focus. 

One of the reasons I like to constantly search for new bands and new music is because it lets me decompress from the day while keeping my mind active and focused on something I enjoy. When you're thinking about whether you enjoy this band you're hearing you have less time to worry about whatever is stressing you out.

This last one is a bit more situation specific, but if you're stressed because you feel like you have too many things to do and not enough time to do them, pick just one thing to focus on first, doesn't matter what it is, and just get it done. Then move to the next thing, and then the thing after that. Stress can cause you to just shut down because you feel overwhelmed. If you can make yourself just do one single thing, you'll get an endorphin kick that will improve things dramatically for you.

Basically, you really just want to find things that distract you, focus your thoughts on something else, and keep you from dwelling on the fact that something in your life is bugging you.

[Dr-Phibes]

I know it's an old topic but I need to weigh in

My friend cured my panic attacks...which were massive, years ago with a self help book.

Believe it or not I wore an elastic band on my wrist and snapped it everytime I felt them.

If I was starting to get the fear I acted as if I wasn't...sounds daft and a little over simplified but worked very quickly