Old School Death Metal (Alteration)

[Mephistopheles]

Hi everybody, I would like to hear some constructive criticism regarding the music. (I know the production is a bit amateurish)
Thank you.

[Will]

On 7/29/2018 at 1:30 AM, Mephistopheles said:

Hi everybody, I would like to hear some constructive criticism regarding the music. (I know the production is a bit amateurish)
Thank you.

Hi Mephistopheles (cool name).

This song has some OSDM-ish moments but is mostly (from what I would consider OSDM) other stuff. Off the top of my head, the closest OSDM band to your song would be something like Brutality.

I guess I'll break my comments into 2 sections.

 

Songwriting and arrangement:

I like the first riff, a pretty strong start. The dissonance and bends go well together.

Some of the doomy stuff at the front (at around 0:37) feels unnecessary and a little boring to me, this is subjective. Maybe you could have developed it during it's last four bars or something. I guess you didn't want to distract from your sample.

It's hard to tell exactly what's going on with the guitars in the first verse, but your riff structures remind me a little of something I've heard in the Slipknot catalog. I'm also not sure if your vocal pattern really lines up with the guitar rhythm.

I like the drumming.

The bridge in the middle of the song (starts at around 2:14) sounds like it belongs on Ride The Lightning. 

Love the way the guitar enters in the first solo, excellent whammy abuse. The melodic triplet part that follows, on he other hand seems somewhat clumsy, I think you may have started on a weird beat and the triplets may be polyrhthming or something with sixteenth notes played on the bass drum, making you sound out of time.

Are the two tapping parts meant to be one continuous part with a punch in or two dueling solos? In the case of the second, the first guy should have done something dramatic as he finished, possibly resolved down by altering the tapping pattern or held a long note under the start of the second guys solo.

It sounds like at times your using slow parts to bridge gaps in your songs. That works, but a more OSDM thing to do would be to either:

a) go straight to the next part (fuck foreplay, this is death metal! If my listener needs to be eased into things, my listener is a pussy)

b) a quick stop start, as you have done in some parts

c) stop, reintroduce one guitar and dramatically reintroduce everything else

to give your song a little more impact.

Not all instruments have to be playing at all times. You can make your song a little more interesting by occasionally cutting an instrument out, especially just before a big moment. A good example of this is something Suffocation does a couple of times where they cut everything but bass for a new section (letting the bass play one bar or half of a bar) and then bringing back the guitar and drums for a really impactful introduction of a new idea.

I would probably work in a couple of tight, palm-muted moments to make the song a little more hard hitting and a little more death metal.

Maybe pick scrape with one guitar or the other (or take it in turns) as it can sound sloppy when 2 guitars do it and it doesn't line up 100%.

 

Mixing and tone:

Your guitar tone is very bass heavy, it makes it muddy at times, what you think of this should depend on what tone you're going for and weather or not you want to be able to hear the bass. Would you rather sound like Mortician or most slam bands (bass heavy walls of sound)  or like Athiest Death during Individual thought Patterns (crunchy midsy guitars that let you hear the bass guitar).

Your sample should probably be louder, I can't really make out what it's saying.

Your mix is a little muddy in general but I get that goes with your aesthetic. Have you high pass filtered everything I would make a point of giving a higher high pass to the lead guitars and (to a much lesser extent) vocals.

Your vocals sound like a characterful performance but I can't hear them that well, maybe carve some EQ holes (attenuate one or two high or mids frequencies) in the guitar and stick the vocals in them (gain those same frequencies on the vocals). This depends on the sound you want to go after though, in a lot of DM, the vocals are just a rumbly noise.

Did you pan the Bass to one side? I could see why you did as it gives your kick drum and vocals some room but you don't have to do this, you can just use EQ.

 

Hope there's something helpful in all of that.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Thank you very much for the insight, you covered a lot of the problems I had to face while writing and recording. No, I didn't pan the bass, but one of the kick drums is slightly louder than the other, and they are panned.

P.S.: It's another guy that's doing the vocals, and the drums are programmed.

About the second lead: it's meant to be played as a piece but it was a last-minute addition and I was pressed by time. You have a really good ear.

Edited July 30, 2018 by Mephistopheles