What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

[SBird94]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version) My back yard bungalow in the morning

[BlutAusNerd]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

So how's this work? Will you know it when you see it? Are some "bearded" from birth, and others simply not, or will you be later chosen according to the strength and will of your beard? What of those worthy among us who cannot grow the beard? What of those once bearded, who shave? And what of those who should rightly be shaven, but grow beards either in ignorance or in mockery of the Beard Of Legend? Forgive my innocence in these matters, O Thoroughly Bearded One, as my simple goatee and I seek only guidance.

Should one walk the path of beard, one can be covered by its grace. Any can walk this path metaphorically, physical manifestation is bestowed upon those truest of faith, but it is not necessary to be granted eternal enlightenment. Those not blessed with beard may still possess bearded souls, yet many who wear the beard do so falsely, "irony" does not denote an inner beard. Shaving may take place among the faithful only on the Sabbath, in recognition if the day of rest and grooming, or as often as your employer forces you too. The spiritual Beard of Legend is available to all those that would desire and seek it, if sought in earnest, which may lead to eternal facial warmth for all. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

[RelentlessOblivion]

What of Chuck Norris whose mighty beard hath bestowed upon him the awesome power of the roundhouse kick? Surely this is the beard of which thy legend spoke.

[FatherAlabaster]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

What of Chuck Norris whose mighty beard hath bestowed upon him the awesome power of the roundhouse kick? Surely this is the beard of which thy legend spoke.

The road to the barber is littered with the clippings of such false prophets.

[Iceni]

So how's this work? Will you know it when you see it? Are some "bearded" from birth, and others simply not, or will you be later chosen according to the strength and will of your beard? What of those worthy among us who cannot grow the beard? What of those once bearded, who shave? And what of those who should rightly be shaven, but grow beards either in ignorance or in mockery of the Beard Of Legend? Forgive my innocence in these matters, O Thoroughly Bearded One, as my simple goatee and I seek only guidance.

Should one walk the path of beard, one can be covered by its grace. Any can walk this path metaphorically, physical manifestation is bestowed upon those truest of faith, but it is not necessary to be granted eternal enlightenment. Those not blessed with beard may still possess bearded souls, yet many who wear the beard do so falsely, "irony" does not denote an inner beard. Shaving may take place among the faithful only on the Sabbath, in recognition if the day of rest and grooming, or as often as your employer forces you too. The spiritual Beard of Legend is available to all those that would desire and seek it, if sought in earnest, which may lead to eternal facial warmth for all.

The road to the barber is littered with the clippings of such false prophets.

You're taking the piss, the lot of you.

[FatherAlabaster]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

Should one walk the path of beard, one can be covered by its grace. Any can walk this path metaphorically, physical manifestation is bestowed upon those truest of faith, but it is not necessary to be granted eternal enlightenment. Those not blessed with beard may still possess bearded souls, yet many who wear the beard do so falsely, "irony" does not denote an inner beard. Shaving may take place among the faithful only on the Sabbath, in recognition if the day of rest and grooming, or as often as your employer forces you too. The spiritual Beard of Legend is available to all those that would desire and seek it, if sought in earnest, which may lead to eternal facial warmth for all. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

While I personally appreciate this interpretation, offering as it does the promise of potential beardedness for all, the concept of a "bearded soul" comes dangerously close to the "immutable inner hairiness" doctrine associated with the Hirsute Abomination of Licebearer, denounced at the Convocation of Tonsors. It was determined that ingrown hairs are indeed a punishment and not a blessing, whereas neckbeard is to be a test given only to the worthy; following Yusuf of Hairimathea, back hair and ear hair are thought of as being signs of a lesser acolyte, to be denied greater initiation. I don't trust all of that structure and would prefer to shave my own beard in my own fashion, but I worry about being accused of hairesy myself. It is reassuring to hear that others have chosen to follow the beard out of conscience rather than fear.

[Iceni]

Yusuf of Hairimathea

This alone were worthy of a horns up, but O! the puns which were purveyed 'midst other words in thy monologue make such gesture the more fitting.

[RelentlessOblivion]

And yey for he was bearded Yusuf did keep his face warm in winter even though it did snow.

[SBird94]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version) my dog was chillin' on table

[FatherAlabaster]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

This alone were worthy of a horns up' date=' but O! the puns which were purveyed 'midst other words in thy monologue make such gesture the more fitting.[/quote'] Lo, for is it not written, that as thick as it sits upon thy head, face, or body, so thick must it be in thy discourse; that no matter how hairy the issue, the Razor of Ockham may lay bare the flesh of the matter?

[FatherAlabaster]

That last, of course, being the assertion that the beard which is easiest to maintain is most likely to resemble the true Beard of Legend. Analogies abound, in hair as in life.

[BlutAusNerd]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

While I personally appreciate this interpretation' date=' offering as it does the promise of potential beardedness for all, the concept of a "bearded soul" comes dangerously close to the "immutable inner hairiness" doctrine associated with the Hirsute Abomination of Licebearer, denounced at the Convocation of Tonsors. It was determined that ingrown hairs are indeed a punishment and not a blessing, whereas neckbeard is to be a test given only to the worthy; following Yusuf of Hairimathea, back hair and ear hair are thought of as being signs of a lesser acolyte, to be denied greater initiation. I don't trust all of that structure and would prefer to shave my own beard in my own fashion, but I worry about being accused of hairesy myself. It is reassuring to hear that others have chosen to follow the beard out of conscience rather than fear.[/quote'] A bearded soul can be differentiated from ingrown/inner soul hair, as the growth of a holy beard emulating the Beard of Legend, whether born on soul or flesh, will not produce ingrown hairs. Ingrown hairs are a sure sign of sin, acting as punishment for defiance of holy creeds and/or deviating from the path of the righteous. To purge these hairs, penance through prayer and tweezing is required, and a correction of your course upon your holy quest. The Hirestute Abomination of Licebearer is indeed a hairetic, but retribution by forced grooming does not befit followers of the Doctrine of Bearded Truth. I have long believed in individualized beard crafting, the possession of the Beard is paramount, the dogma of it having to look a certain way originates with the religious (p)Hairisees who worshiped the tradition/religion of Beard as opposed to Beard itself. Beard is the greatest gift of freedom one could receive, restricting that freedom is a decidedly human issue which goes against the principle of Beard itself and is not how the Great Grower (hallowed be his name) intended to pass it down to his creation. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

[SBird94]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version) Chillin with my guitar \M/. Loving this beard talk guys

[Iceni]

A bearded soul can be differentiated from ingrown/inner soul hair, as the growth of a holy beard emulating the Beard of Legend, whether born on soul or flesh, will not produce ingrown hairs. Ingrown hairs are a sure sign of sin, acting as punishment for defiance of holy creeds and/or deviating from the path of the righteous. To purge these hairs, penance through prayer and tweezing is required, and a correction of your course upon your holy quest. The Hirestute Abomination of Licebearer is indeed a hairetic, but retribution by forced grooming does not befit followers of the Doctrine of Bearded Truth. I have long believed in individualized beard crafting, the possession of the Beard is paramount, the dogma of it having to look a certain way originates with the religious (p)Hairisees who worshiped the tradition/religion of Beard as opposed to Beard itself. Beard is the greatest gift of freedom one could receive, restricting that freedom is a decidedly human issue which goes against the principle of Beard itself and is not how the Great Grower (hallowed be his name) intended to pass it down to his creation.

Yea, but I must ask of you; What defines a beard? for there are those who grow facial hair within another traditions, is it is with the Moustachites and the Sideburnites. So too it appears that by little effort one may be accepted into the halls of righteousness, as it is with those who bear a soul patch, or a goatee. Lo! they say unto us: We ourselves have facial hair after our forefathers, as it is with you. Are we not covered, therefore, in righteousness? But I must ask thee again, What defines a beard? for there are many who will seek heaven and say unto the Great Grower, hallowed be His name, at the arrival of His Kingdom upon the earth, Lord, Lord, we have done as you have asked of us. Behold, we have gone to great efforts, yea, even unto dying the soul patch. Yet it is written, only those with woolen chins shall be admitted unto the Highest Place. But still I must relent; for my knowledge is still lacking and as I have studied alone I have none to guide my reading and bring me unto understanding.

[FatherAlabaster]

Yea' date=' but I must ask of you; What defines a beard? for there are those who grow facial hair within another traditions, is it is with the Moustachites and the Sideburnites. So too it appears that by little effort one may be accepted into the halls of righteousness, as it is with those who bear a soul patch, or a goatee. Lo! they say unto us: We ourselves have facial hair after our forefathers, as it is with you. Are we not covered, therefore, in righteousness? But I must ask thee again, What defines a beard? for there are many who will seek heaven and say unto the Great Grower, hallowed be His name, at the arrival of His Kingdom upon the earth, Lord, Lord, we have done as you have asked of us. Behold, we have gone to great efforts, yea, even unto dying the soul patch. Yet it is written, only those with woolen chins shall be admitted unto the Highest Place. But still I must relent; for my knowledge is still lacking and as I have studied alone I have none to guide my reading and bring me unto understanding.[/quote'] Thou art right to question the Thoroughly Bearded on this matter, bearing as you do the Fringe Of Youth; and as thou hast touched upon many-haired matters, I feel that I may in some part respond, as a seeker after Beardedness, albeit from a different cilial lineage. Following my interpretation of the gift of Revelations combed down from the words of our noble sage, I believe he would say that to seek the Beard in sincerity, in humility - that is to say, one day or one half-millimeter at a time - is the Whole of the Path, that though caveats and proscriptions have been offered through lo these many years, they are as feeble words muttered through a thin mustache: regarded more by the shorn or unbearded, than by they who grow in truth. It is much in Life as it is before the Bathroom Mirror: if thou shavest, shave not for spite but for comfort, as this is a virtue in itself; and if thou must Condition, do so not in vanity but in reverence. The warmth of inner beardedness may indeed, according to his hopeful message, be available for all. As a student of different traditions, and of late a follower of Beardwin (who bore no small beard himself), I have questioned much: for thy inquiry about the definition of beardedness doth touch upon the Natural Part of my concerns. Having seen that different cultures, and even different wearers of the same culture, may grow in all good hairiness those facial coverings which differ in outward appearance, maintenance, coverage, and degree; and yet may all be seen as tokens of equal beardedness, an outward sign of honest inward searching; I cannot condemn one man's soul patch, nor another's handlebars, be my imagination never so wrought. It is in this light that application of the Thoroughly Bearded's doctrine of "inner beardedness" meets with the usefulness of Peliculo's concept of the "eternal ideal beard" - a search open to all, who are not to be judged by outward manifestations of hairiness, and indeed should not be judged by their peers among the haired, for (according to some) this judgement is the province of the Great Grower. I like the inclusiveness and general positivity of this message, though I would depart from my colleague (and my better in matters of beard) by saying that while I believe the Eternal Ideal Beard to be a worthy goal, it is much the same as a mathematical triangle - a useful and perhaps indispensable shared concept, but not a thing of actual manifestation. An idea developed by Human, as Grower, over many long half-millimeters, that yet grows among us, inside each, according to hairiness both inherited and informed by circumstance and strength of will; an ideal that's worth no less for the fact that it may not actually exist outside of our Separate Chins. And as has been pointed out by Beardwin among others, the fact that we are descended from many who were not themselves bearded, and some whose beards may well have exceeded our own; and the fact that we can observe beardedness of greater or lesser degree around us in dizzying multiplicity, in Human as well as other Animal; point to a possibility that Beard - however worthy a goal! - is but one idiosyncratic, particular manifestation of a deeper quality, perhaps Hairiness, or more simply Covering, to be found to some extent in all, and to be disrespected in none. I sincerely hope that both Thoroughly Bearded and Shorn may see fit to comb through the tangles of my insufficient words, removing Nits and straightening Kinks, that they may with aid achieve something of their true shape: the closest this beard may come to being Ideal. Though not without a caution, for it is written, he who combs in haste or malice may never find the Natural Part, but instead may find himself brushing uselessly through Split Ends, be he never so skilled a barber.

[Iceni]

Thou art right to question the Thoroughly Bearded on this matter, bearing as you do the Fringe Of Youth; and as thou hast touched upon many-haired matters, I feel that I may in some part respond, as a seeker after Beardedness, albeit from a different cilial lineage. Following my interpretation of the gift of Revelations combed down from the words of our noble sage, I believe he would say that to seek the Beard in sincerity, in humility - that is to say, one day or one half-millimeter at a time - is the Whole of the Path, that though caveats and proscriptions have been offered through lo these many years, they are as feeble words muttered through a thin mustache: regarded more by the shorn or unbearded, than by they who grow in truth. It is much in Life as it is before the Bathroom Mirror: if thou shavest, shave not for spite but for comfort, as this is a virtue in itself; and if thou must Condition, do so not in vanity but in reverence. The warmth of inner beardedness may indeed, according to his hopeful message, be available for all. As a student of different traditions, and of late a follower of Beardwin (who bore no small beard himself), I have questioned much: for thy inquiry about the definition of beardedness doth touch upon the Natural Part of my concerns. Having seen that different cultures, and even different wearers of the same culture, may grow in all good hairiness those facial coverings which differ in outward appearance, maintenance, coverage, and degree; and yet may all be seen as tokens of equal beardedness, an outward sign of honest inward searching; I cannot condemn one man's soul patch, nor another's handlebars, be my imagination never so wrought. It is in this light that application of the Thoroughly Bearded's doctrine of "inner beardedness" meets with the usefulness of Peliculo's concept of the "eternal ideal beard" - a search open to all, who are not to be judged by outward manifestations of hairiness, and indeed should not be judged by their peers among the haired, for (according to some) this judgement is the province of the Great Grower. I like the inclusiveness and general positivity of this message, though I would depart from my colleague (and my better in matters of beard) by saying that while I believe the Eternal Ideal Beard to be a worthy goal, it is much the same as a mathematical triangle - a useful and perhaps indispensable shared concept, but not a thing of actual manifestation. An idea developed by Human, as Grower, over many long half-millimeters, that yet grows among us, inside each, according to hairiness both inherited and informed by circumstance and strength of will; an ideal that's worth no less for the fact that it may not actually exist outside of our Separate Chins. And as has been pointed out by Beardwin among others, the fact that we are descended from many who were not themselves bearded, and some whose beards may well have exceeded our own; and the fact that we can observe beardedness of greater or lesser degree around us in dizzying multiplicity, in Human as well as other Animal; point to a possibility that Beard - however worthy a goal! - is but one idiosyncratic, particular manifestation of a deeper quality, perhaps Hairiness, or more simply Covering, to be found to some extent in all, and to be disrespected in none. I sincerely hope that both Thoroughly Bearded and Shorn may see fit to comb through the tangles of my insufficient words, removing Nits and straightening Kinks, that they may with aid achieve something of their true shape: the closest this beard may come to being Ideal. Though not without a caution, for it is written, he who combs in haste or malice may never find the Natural Part, but instead may find himself brushing uselessly through Split Ends, be he never so skilled a barber.

The funniest thing about all this is that the posts are longer than those in the theology-related threads in the Deep & Meaningful section.

[FatherAlabaster]

That's because beards are cooler and more fun.

[Iceni]

That's because beards are cooler and more fun.

Now you're just trying to get a rise out of me...

[FatherAlabaster]

Mistake not my intent, dear brother Beard-seeker, which is merely to elicit thy amusement.

[SBird94]

I wish i had a beard, damn it would take me months to grow one.

[satan 59]

What is a month but for a life of the Bearded?

[FatherAlabaster]

What is a month but for a life of the Bearded?

Yea, indeed, SBird94 has received a great gift, if he be able to achieve a True Beard in mere months, which some Grow towards for years without success.

[SBird94]

I Shall be victorious in my quest to grow a beard in a matter of months, victory shall be mine!

[BlutAusNerd]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

What is a month but for a life of the Bearded?

Indeed, a month without shaving is hardly a month wasted. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

[SBird94]

Re: What Are You doing? (Picture Version)

Indeed, a month without shaving is hardly a month wasted. Sent from my HTC PH39100 using Tapatalk 2

I shall not shave for months, the girlfriend will be mad haha