You're older than me, so I don't feel..."qualified" to give this advice, but...please. Don't. What I've found is that people surprise you. And, as the die-hard idealist I am, I view people as brilliant flashes of colour on the canvas of life. I'm way too sentimental and emotional for my own good, frankly, and I care too much for people who don't really care for me. That's led me to get hurt. Eventually, though, I've started slowly, but surely, letting people in...and I'm glad. They don't fully understand, even if I've simplified how I feel about things, but they've tried to, and have respected and accepted my feelings.
I'm emotional. I care too much about things that probably won't happen. I overthink things, and I want to change the world for good. I'm young. We still exist. I want to leave this world having had a good life and a positive impact on others; and have remained a idealist and happy person where so many others are broken and negative.
Please don't kill yourself. I don't even know you, but I'd miss you on this forum. I imagine many others feel the same. You're still so young too.