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BlackFuckingMetal666

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Posts posted by BlackFuckingMetal666

  1. I just bought my ticket to see Napalm Death' date=' Voivod, Exhumed, Phobia, and Iron Reagan in Oakland, CA this Friday! STOKED!!![/quote'] Damn you I live down in So Cal and had planed on going but I have to go back t work Friday. You lucky bastard. Make sure to mosh extra hard for me hahaha. On a different note I'm back and plan on posting more again. Just spent the last 2 weeks in the hospital because of pneumonia. I'm doing better now and about to get back to work. Hope everyone is doing good.
  2. What the fuck dude' date=' you have a functioning bike and you opt to check out. why not ride to tiera del feugo and make you decision down there deciding if it's worth the trip back or not? You kill your self, what dreams may come, get me motherfucker! A person can learn to master whatever they spend 10,000 hours trying to master. Focus on mastering the extreme kind of financial stress that seems to be your lot Black Metal. Glad to hear you have a good paying gig, I hope you find a way to ride easy. Thanks for checking in, and pardon the lecture, but fuck dude, I hope you find something about life to treasure.[/quote'] I understand what you're saying but you gotta realize life for me has been difficult. Not as bad as some people but it certainly wasn't a walk in the park. I grew up in foster homes and group homes because many parents were tweakers and my dad beat me, my brother and my sister. I've never had the chance to meet either of them which makes me feel both sad and angry. I used to talk to my mom when I was younger but she turned out be the type of person who always says their going to change but never does( I turned out the same way, big surprise right). Because of this I've never really had a chance to make friend. Hell the first time I actually had someone I could call a friend wasn't until I was 13. I've always felt alone going through life and never felt like I could get close to anyone cause they would just end up leaving anyways. Long story short brother is that I have a lot of unresolved issues(mainly being able to properly express my emotions, abandonment issues, and anger control) I need to work on. The only problem is that I grew up having to fend for myself so I find almost impossible to ask for help until the situation spirals out of my control at which point I get into a very depressed state and I stay that until I try to opt out or one of the few people close to me help me out. Of course there's also the problem I have with drugs. I prefer hardcore uppers like meth and coke and crack but I'll honestly do anything if someone offers them to me. I'm pretty fucked in the head and I want to change my life but I'm probably too stubborn for that to ever happen. One day I imagine I'll have the balls to go through with it, until then I'm just kinda stuck here waiting for the day it all ends. Sent from my ZTE V768 using Tapatalk 2
  3. Awesome dude' date=' glad to hear it. I'm sure I wasn't the only one here that was concerned. What are you doing now?[/quote'] Got a new house since I got kicked out of the last due to not be able to pay the rent. Working on getting my streetbike fixed cause I crashed it trying to kill myself then at the last minute decided against it and laid the bike down. I didn't get hurt the my bike is damn near wrecked. However my new job has me making $1100 a week as a company driver which is cool. Definitely could be worse off I suppose so I would like to think things are going better for me now than they were.
  4. So I finally made it home safely. I had to pawn quite a few of my belongings to get money for a ride home but I made it so I'm relieved. My buddies dad is also a trucker so I already have a job lined up and ready to go. Hopefully things don't go so shitty this time. Oh yea I got robbed in Atlanta at gunpoint. Turns out the greyhound bus station is located in the projects and white people probably shouldn't walk through there at night...found that out the hard way. Good thing I already sold all my important shit I guess.

  5. That's horrible' date=' how are you going to get back? Don't you live out west?[/quote'] No idea but I seriously need a place to stay so I can find a way back home. It's getting kinda cold here. I have a warm jacket and some thermals but I still have no place to go. I got money for a room at a motel but it's all the money I have and they took the last of my paycheck since I was in debt.
  6. Yeah' date=' we would always take one of our cargo vans when we had a gig, everything fit well without need of a trailer. It's nice having that stuff on hand for personal use, but it also means getting roped into stuff you don't want to do. My warehouse manager is the best example of this, coming from a polygamist family, he has TONS of relatives that are always enlisting his help, so he has our truck out frequently on weekends just helping his family.[/quote'] Being an owner a semi kinda puts me in the same boat. I've had quite a few people ask me to help them if I could use my truck to haul there trailers and motor homes cause there cars can't. It's usually them wanting to borrow it for the weekend. I tell them they won't be able to drive it which most of them can't. Then they want me to teach them and i gotta sit there and explain why they aren't allowed to drive it. Sent from my ZTE V768 using Tapatalk 2
  7. Hey' date=' we were just talking about missing you in another thread. How's it going man?[/quote'] Yea ive just been dealing with trying to get a new truck and get home. Finally did yesterday after being 3 months over the road. It's ok I guess, I mean I did get home but I wasn't able to talk to anyone in slc for a different truck since they only have 1 person for something lke 1500 drivers so it's impossible to get a hold of her. still my truck hasn't giving me any problems so far.
  8. Well I'm slightly intoxicated and very depressed, I'm in debt and out of a truck. No way to pay it back and no way to even try. I'm tired of this shit and fed up with life. I want to harm someone else and even myself but I care to much about my family and friends to do so. At this point I am lost. I see no way out and no solution to the problem. Maybe I should kill myself...oh wait that's right, I care too much to hurt those around me. I hate life and everything it. FUCK!!! ...and people say life is so wonderful...what a load of shit...fucking idiots

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