All problems solved.
Understanding that life offers nothing. Only children find new and interesting things. Adults have seen, done and heard everything, there is no novelty left. Of course metal would turn out to be boring.
Expecting to enjoy anything is the mistake. Expect everything to be boring, expect to be bored, expect nothing, then be pleasantly surprised that actually I am enjoying these sounds.
Other than fresh black coffee, I don't use drugs any more. I am not in an altered state. I am committed to maintaining normal human consciousness. I did use drugs so that I could enjoy music, because I expected to enjoy, because I was taught that life is for enjoying, or enjoying is good and boring is bad. I was stupid, immature and a slow learner. A human adult is bored and unsatisfied. There is nothing special about consciousness.
Negative thinking and negating pleasure is key. My mind is blown by metal music through no expectation.
Headphones still suck.