At 50 years old, metal has always been there for me. Fashions come and go but metal is just there, mutating, evolving like it itself is a living thing and in that way it is spiritual to me. I have a disorder called Schizoaffective (its like a mix of schizophrenia and bipolar) and when things get bad for me I can turn the 'spirit' that metal feeds me with into all sorts of things. For example, on a simple practical level, metal is meant to be loud and that very physical loudness can block out the voices I hear. Or maybe the raw aggression can fuel me into making it through the day but it is the spiritual, meditative feeling I get from playing metal in order to rest that helps me most of all. Simply, I feel calm when metal is playing and that allows me to sleep when all the meds in the world don;t help.