MaxFaust

What you think is great in metal is probably a function of how you got to the table in the first place. For me, personally, being now 56 years old, I don't have to "look back" because I can remember when there was no metal. Not in the same way. There was hard rock, heavy rock, whatever. The word "metal" was only used to describe a certain guitar sound. The screechy fuzz thing. Honest to God, that's what it was like in the mid 70s, when I came of age. In 1975, we thought Kiss was pretty "metal". They kind of collapsed a couple of years later though ... imagine if Slipknot had started playing "electronic beat music" a couple of years in, and you will kind of get the "oh no" feeling that we had at the time. I say all this to defend why I think that the song I'm about to link was a major great album opener upon its release. That boy still had something special going on with his guitar work ... even though they had seemed less than interesting on their previous two or three releases (I'm not a VH historian). Because at the time, this was pretty impressive ... and if a good opener is intended to be the best selling point of an album, right next to the cover art (and its attention trapping value), then this one is genius: People some times look at me in disbelief when I cite Fair Warning as one of the great albums from the good old days, and I do mean specifically the times when also Iron Maiden released Killers ... which seemed about as awesome as it could get right there and then (needless to say, it has also a killer opening). For resons unrelated to any of the albums themselves, they kind of sit right next to eachother in terms of how I define my musical tastes. Produced by Ted Templeman who also produced the legendary album Montrose in 1973, this album has a "funky" feel to it, like it's meant to be "danceable" ... which isn't a quality that's held in high regard within metal proper. From a production perspective, it wouldn't take much tweaking and trickery to turn Fair Warning into an outright disco album. (It was also the year before Eddie Van Halen for some obscure reason decided to get associated with Michael Jackson. Not a great idea.) We have to keep in mind that "heavy metal" in 1981 was not the same thing as "heavy metal" is today. Not by a 40 year long shot.

Drunk is relative. I've tried the real shit, I think ... but that scares me now. I'm too old and too fragile. That shit is for young people who don't know any better. The product that swings the world is of course white lightning! (TM) They write songs about that shit. Ever since they started to write songs. Like this one. (Jerry Lee Lewis did that one too, of course, or so I believe.) Anyway, I am of course not drinking white lightning now, or ever. I will probably never do that no more. Red wine is the thing now. IGP Pays d'Oc blend #4, to be exact, by Marselan. I'm done with one bottle and have one more to go. That's what getting drunk has been reduced to for me: An ultra-disciplined program for drinking exactly two bottles of wine, once every two or three weeks. Cowabunga! Yeah right. I think I want a cigar ...

Yeah ... King Crimson were nasty like that. Okay, so you have over the hills and far away technicians such as Tosin Abasi ... but it takes a little something to come up with innocent material that kind of just plods along, sounding simple enough, until you get a creeping deja vu feeling before you really understand what's happening. That's genius. As for most consistent manufacurer of outstanding riffs, I think it's hard to get around Jimmy Page though. Man, has he hit home a time or two with his touch and timing. Then there is of course Tony Iommi. You can't argue against Tony Iommi. He knows how to riff. Which is actually a quite narrow discipline, isn't it? If for instance I say Angus Young ... yes, riffmaster, definitely. But you wouldn't say that about Eric Clapton, great as he may be to play the guitar. Next I will mention Dimebag Darrell, as a guy who knew how to riff. What are the properties of a good riff? It must have groove, right? Riffing is kind of "funky" in a sense. Rhythmic.

Zhe Germans are coming! Do they count UFO as British or German? 6/10 either way. Most of their stuff never rose above the generic, give or take some hit songs. This one has good guitar work though ... but that's fair to expect, all things considered. Keeping it old school ...

Definitely 8/10. For some reason, I associate that with a larger British "sound" that started in the 90s. Some more 90s rock:

Somebody in a place far away from here got into it over this. I can't help but wonder ... how is this even a real question? "Smoke on the water" is so not the right answer (though it might just be the most molested riff ever). Kashmir was suggested. By Led Zeppelin, of course. Thinking about it ... okay, it takes a little something to come up with that riff in the first place. That's not the first time this guy has touched a guitar, like. And isn't there something disturbing about the time notation going on? They seem to be off by about half a beat, going in circle ... this is some weird shit, like 5/8 vs. 8/14 or something. Which reminds me that Robert Fripp and Adrian Belew (King Crimson) had an arrangement of that kind, but I can't remember what song, nor even what album. Is it possible to determine any "best riff ever"? Where to even begin?

I came across a character called Shredmaster Scott on YouTube ... who had a right interesting video on how to interpret Crazy Train as if it had been made by Bach. He goes through the entire structure and provides ample link material. This might just interest the more structurally inclined axemen. Fascinating stuff either way.

1973. My 10th birthday, and my grandmother bought me Paranoid, by Black Sabbath. I don't think I could conceive of anything more heavy and evil sounding than that at the time (in all fairness, I don't think anybody could). I had heard heavy music before -- one of my other favourites was Deep Purple's Black Night -- but that was my first heavy album. Mine. I was right happy. There's been a few more albums passing through my hands since then.

Yeah Opeth ... hehe ... that was an impressive opening, the first time ever I heard that band ... which was "My Arms Your Hearse" with the pling plong piano ambient thing at first, and then KABOOM. I remember thinking "god damn, they mean business". Which of course they always did. Still do, I suppose, but I don't like their new stuff.

Right. I hadn't even heard about this until now ... but it doesn't sound promising. Like you, I am befuddled at the getgo. Why change the sound? That album was brilliant ... and has remained so. It was like they had eaten Fear Factory for breakfast or something, it was not at all what I had expected from Mayhem, the first time I heard GDoW. Chimera brought them back into more familiar territory, but although that is an album that has its merits too, I play GDoW more often, which is what it all comes down to, isn't it?

Yeah I remember that one ... and how I felt more optimistic about Halford's solo thing than the continuation of JP. It was weird for a while, but I like that album. I play it every now and then. 6/10. Now for some 80s stuff ...

Hah! I smoke much worse things than cigarettes ... but you just gotta love Tex Williams. 7/10. Our next guy probably smokes. At least. Judging from his voice, this seems likely.

I don't know if Painkiller counts as much as an opener of an album as a closer of a genre. I'm sorry to say that I just don't see how it's even possible to carry "traditional heavy metal" beyond that declaration of ultimate mastery. It's the reference song. That which you might suggest that people who have never heard about metal before should perhaps start with. Seriously. If Painkiller appeals to you, you belong in metal. If not, not. Nothing personal. That's just how the genre rolls. That being said, I like the opening of Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Whatever lies beyond that may be "something" but it's not for me. This is when I say enough is enough. This is as good as it will ever get,

Arab metal suuuucks (or at least this band does), or at else someone would have said something, given that it's been two weeks and all. WTF? Are nobody any longer caring about sharing the taste? Come on. You rate the former thing, you suggest another. How hard can that be? This is a most beautiful way of finding new stuff. If even only one new song per hundred, you will still make a profit. This is where it's happening. Where metal fans old and new get to share ideas and tastes. It's the shit. (Pass the word.) Anyway, enough hippie nonsense. Let's get to the song ... for fuck's sake. This is so brilliant that I have no fucking words. It's the girl who ate both King Diamond and Rob Halford. Now she's just standing there, smiling. What will become of masculinity? I guess we shall see. Thus far, I'm quite pleased.

I can't believe how nobody wanted to touch this ... well, let's move on. Punk is good.

I call that stuff "Deep Black Zeppelin" ... and people kind of understand what I mean ... as a general reference to the sound of the 1970s, or rather the new sound that began in 1968, "the comedown era" (as opposed to "the summer of love" in 1967, this was a much darker year). The typical "psychedelia" sound (also garage, freakbeats, etc.) tended to use a lot of electric organ for all melodic structure that required sustain. This all changed with the fuzzbox. The golden era of this sound lasted, arguably, for five years, between 1968-1973. Then things started to go more "hard and heavy", with more sharper sounding, younger bands, such as Judas Priest. Anyway, I'm babbling. For "more of this stuff" I shall henceforth refer you to my "Deep Black Zeppelin" style YouTube playlist: Bronze Age Metal. PS ... another reason to call it DBS is because just about every goddamned band that were testing out the waters at that point in time would sooner or later get accused of being copycats to either of those three giant names.

The short answer is, you don't. Not unless you know somebody who plays in a band, and also has money to spare on buying other people's lyrics ... in which case most would choose to go with someone who's already established as a lyricist, poet, etc. So you have the odds against you, but you could always try. Or you could hire some musicians and do it as a concept project, financed by yourself (or whomever you can convince of the investment's fiscal validity).

"Fire up the blades" by 3 Inches of Blood. Pardon the pun ... but it's a bloody brilliant band.

When Jimi Hendrix did it I think it was between him and the guitar. They had a "special relationship" that almost certainly included some hate. Pete Townsend was the certified bad boy of his time. The Who were always the worst. They had a reputation to keep up. The first time I saw someone smash up their guitar on stage was in 1980. It was Paul Stanley of Kiss. I even secured a part as he was tossing them into the audience. But it was of course not his good guitar. Everybody could see that. My thoughts on this is that if they are your instruments, they are yours to do whatever you want with, including smashing them up. However, I fail to see what's "badass" about destroying your own property just for the hell of it. If it's a part of some greater show of message, sure, why not, but the general rule of thumb is that musicians should be careful with theatrical antics. It doesn't always play out as they had imagined it would.

Nothing has ever come close to being a better album closer than Black Rose from the album by that same name, released by Thin Lizzy in 1979. You don't even have to be Irish to get that one.

I'm gonna play that one safe and say 7/10 ... but also remark that it's the sort of thing that I would need to listen to the entire album several times, while driving ... to land on a final verdict. It could go up or down, or stay at "fairly decent modern metal". For those who wonder what Arab metal sounds like:

Hah! Easy peasy ... that's a solid 8/10 for a late night classic during my, um, party years. Now for something I bet none of you kids have ever heard about before: Country Funk. Definitely 70s....

Yeah ... but what about poisonous critters, Wolf Creek and that Chopper Reid character?

Classic! 8/10 Now for something completely different. (Rudra is the Hindu version of Thor, god of thunder.)

Biff Byford in spandex brought Saxon dangerously close to Spinal Tap.