Yeah, I know that all too well, been feeling like that for way too long myself (and still do). As hard as it may be, you need to try and focus on better things. As long as you keep thinking about everything in a bad way you simply condition yourself to keep being unhappy. While that may be grim as fuck, it doesn't really help with anything. And the initial step to actually do it is enormously freaking hard, but whenever I manage to do something else and distract myself I feel so much better afterwards.
And I'm missing motivation, too, to overcome these feelings. I want to make music and record some audio dramas, but... oh well, as long as no-one pushes me my motivation sees no reason to get out of the chair. Maybe the summer with it's happy-go-lucky aura will do something about that.